Communication

The imparting or exchanging of information or news.

Means of connection between people or places, in particular.

It’s amazing how “off” communication can be between people. If I had to guess, I would say that most relationships fail because of a lack of it.  Every now and then there could be a failure due to one of you being too much of a gabber, but there’s always ear plugs for that.

Why is it when someone asks you, “What’s wrong?”  You answer, “Nothing.” When in reality you could write an epic novel about what is bothering you.

But why don’t you just come out and say it? Why don’t people communicate more? It really is a lost art!

When you text or email it often does not come across the way you had hoped. Why has writing letters gone by the wayside?  Is it because it’s too hard? Are we really that lazy? Or is it because we have forgotten how to connect with people? I mean really connect? Like soul to soul.

Maybe you think about having a chat with someone to get to know them better but then you think too much about what to say and wind up saying nothing at all. How’s that working for you? Probably not so good, cause when you say nothing, it ironically says a whole lot more.  Silence is not golden, it’s crushing.

If I had to guess why so many of us are so hesitant to express ourselves, I would say it’s out of fear. We are afraid of what someone will think of what we have to say. What most of us are really afraid of though, is rejection.

Not me! I’ve got rejection down. Rejection and I are sympatico. I don’t fear it at all. I go out on a limb, the limb breaks and I get back up. I don’t just get back up, I get busy.  Nothing spurns me on more than rejection. I re-focus, redirect, reinvent myself and get back to work.

But I didn’t always do that. For years I lived under the auspice called, “Keep the peace” where I wasn’t allowed to express myself at all. If I did, it made life tough on my parents who were both newly married to partners with their own children. I was not so keen on any Brady Bunchesque situation, but out of my love for them I swallowed a lot of crap. I am grateful that I no longer have to pay homage to that archaic contract.

It took me many years and much heartache to learn that love should never involve keeping the peace. Real love is unconditional, meaning it doesn’t matter what is said because there are no conditions or limitations when you really love someone, there’s only acceptance of all that they are.

 

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Gretchen Allison

Actress/Model, supporter of Dogs In Danger, National Mill Dog Rescue and a Fellow Barber in training. I love the ocean, people with integrity, deep house music, travel, learning new skills and margaritas. Not necessarily in that order.

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