What would Julie Andrews say?

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you…

It’s so not the case anymore! Yesterday I was on a subway-big deal, I’m always on one, but what I found astonishing, was this young man standing in front of me going through his contacts.

First let me say I am no prude. I’ve had my days! But that was when I didn’t value myself and all that I was, not what I thought I needed to be for someone else.

Back then I still got a meal or a drink for my effort. People had to call you up, ask you out, spend a little money on you in hopes of getting to know you better.

Now they send a photo. They figure out in a millisecond if you are worthy of their time by virtue of the way you look, or more aptly put, how you make them feel.

I don’t know who is to blame for this. Certainly not the young man scrolling through his contacts at lightening speed; every single one had an image of a young woman in lingerie, lips pursed, chests partially exposed, one even blowing a kiss.

I was awestruck that someone would think so little of themselves to send a half naked photo to some guy who had a collection of them. Where was the ball dropped when raising these young women? Where was their self worth?

I was disgusted! I do not have girls, I have boys. But I can tell you this with certainty. They respect women. I have had several talks with them in case they used that hearing of convenience on me and really pounded the message home about having photos like this on your phone. About knowing the difference between someone who values themselves and someone who doesn’t. Which in turn only translates to them not valuing you.

If you are putting yourself out there I hope you’re getting paid for it, otherwise you’re just giving the best part of you for free. But it’s not really free is it? It comes with a price that rarely gets funded. Your self worth is far more valuable then having some jerk getting a captured image of you that he can show his buds to.

I’m sad for the girls in his contacts and I’m mad at the parents. They failed. I think the world will start treating women better, when we finally start having respect for ourselves and stop gifting men our greatest treasure.

Any girl reading this better be guarding themselves with an iron clad fist. Make a guy prove himself first before giving up the goods. Make him take you to dinner if he wants to get to know you better. Stop any communication the minute he asks for a photo.

If you start to value yourself you will only attract people who do the same. Don’t be a statistic; some girl in a list of contacts that some guy calls when he’s looking to get laid.

Value yourself! Get to know you before you get to know someone else. Learn to value all that you are without the validation from someone else. If you are constantly looking outwards for attention, then you are not looking within. Don’t be afraid to look!

And why is it people are so afraid to look at themselves, but they will let some loser look at them half naked or maybe even full view? I just don’t get it!


We cannot expect others to respect us if we don’t respect ourselves.

Published by

Gretchen Allison

I love learning new skills and honing ones I already have. When I'm not trying new things I'm going to auditions, which I never tire of. I am blessed to have representation from some very wonderful agents and recently signed with an amazing manager. I am also an avid supporter of National Mill Dog Rescue and Dogs In Danger and usually have a foster dog or cat around.

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