to spend time in a place, in a situation, a place, with a person or group.


The lyrics to this song are so incredible and so full of pain. “Tell me that its all ok-I’ve been waiting on this all damn day. ” And while he has been waiting, he still cannot stay, not for the long haul.

What is it about people that makes them run away from what they really want? Is it fear? The unknown? The whats, the whys, the whos and the hows? Or is it really just because they don’t think they can possibly be worthy of such love? This is the constant battle inside ourselves that self sabotages our dreams, our desires and our souls craving.

While we want what we want, we deprive ourselves of what we covet most because of a lack of self worth. We do not feel we deserve love or any other dream we have, so we will do whatever we can to screw it up.

Why are people so afraid to feel? To fail? To try? To succeed? To live? To love?

I think it has something to do with our pasts. We get so caught up in the way things were or how something once happened and we forget we have a future and something called the now. Because right now is all we ever have and if you stay there, you really don’t have anything to worry about.

Of course the healthiest place to stay is in our hearts. Why can’t we stay there all the time? Why do we complicate life so much by pretending to be something we aren’t? Why do we push others away when all they want to do is love us? Why do we question everything we do and worry about what others will think, instead of doing what we want?

I don’t ever want to be the person who lives with regrets. There was a time when I had many but I have promised myself to always reach out no matter how uncomfortable, to go the distance no matter how far it takes me and to give to others even when they don’t give back, because I never want to say “what if”.

If you have someone in your life that you are playing games with or are even second guessing, you have to be honest with yourself and ask why. Maybe the person you are really fooling is yourself.

What’s the point? We only ever have now. And the only people that ever matter, are the ones who love you unconditionally, which starts with yourself.  Everyone else can just fuck off.


Published by

Gretchen Allison

I love learning new skills and honing ones I already have. When I'm not trying new things I'm going to auditions, which I never tire of. I am blessed to have representation from some very wonderful agents and recently signed with an amazing manager. I am also an avid supporter of National Mill Dog Rescue and Dogs In Danger and usually have a foster dog or cat around.

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