Background

the scenery or ground behind something

an inconspicuous person. shy people who try to stay in the background

the conditions that form the setting within which something is experienced

So a few weeks ago I accepted a job to do background work on a television show. It had been slow and I have been with central casting for over a year and have yet to say yes to them.  It was Law and Order so I figured the day would go quickly since they have been doing the show forever.  And of course there’s that whole Universe thing where I have to send it out there that I mean business.

I was amazed at what a culture it was. There was a whole group of people who knew one another and talked about all of the shows they had been on. They mentioned one show where the main actor doesn’t let you look at him. I not only found this hysterical, I mean, what actor doesn’t want you looking at him? It made me want to go on the show just to look at him!

You probably don’t watch shows like I do, or commercials for that matter, but I notice everything. I see people I have auditioned with and I even notice the one person in the background that is so innocuous you wouldn’t know they were there, but I know they were there and paid to do so.

Not so many of us are willing to fade into the background and be some bystander who just allows life to happen, but when you have been on this God forsaken journey as long as I have, you kind of resign to it. There are days when you scream for mercy

But the Universe won’t have any of that, so you just keep chasing pavements and entertaining your wild thoughts hoping it will get better.

Like a butterfly flitting from flower to flower, looking for a little sustenance, a hope, a sign to continue on this tireless journey which seems to lead to nowhere.  With hardly anyone in sight to help you or anyone who understands what the hell has happened to you, you long for someone who is anything but a fairweather friend.  But sadly, neither a Spiderman, a caveman or a candyman is gonna help you.

This is when you realize that some strangelove of sorts has taken over your every fiber and all you can do is just be. Just be. Just exist. Just allow. Just observe.

So much happens in the background. When you observe you see it all. Sometimes what we see isn’t what we had hoped for. Sometimes what we see hurts us to the core and other times it liberates us.

But once you’ve got this message under your skin you feel at peace and often feel the urge to whistle. Because you realize that you really are unforgettable and anyone who is vibing on the same plane you are, will just get that.

This journey can be really lonely and you can often feel like you are some extra working a spot in a scene, watching it all unfold. But that’s okay. Anyone on this journey is not here to worry about what others think and we know deep within that we are anything but background workers. We are here to be stars

To shine brightly, be the light in a time of darkness and be the embodiment of unconditional love so that others may follow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Published by

Gretchen Allison

Actress/Model, supporter of Dogs In Danger, National Mill Dog Rescue and a Fellow Barber in training. I love the ocean, people with integrity, deep house music, travel, learning new skills and margaritas. Not necessarily in that order. I wrote a chick-lit book called Oh Shiksa! which is a great beach read. You can purchase it on Amazonhttps://www.amazon.com/Oh-Shiksa-Line-Wealthy-Always-ebook/dp/B005CI7DC8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1530100995&sr=8-1&keywords=oh+shiksa

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