What is Sexy?

According to Merriam-Webster, sexy is attractive or interesting. I agree with the latter part; interesting, because people who are interesting, are pretty damn sexy.

Sexy to me means confidence as well. Not the false bravado type, which is merely a mask for a whole boat load of insecurities, but the kind that is understated, like Tyrion from Game of Thrones.

Sexy can be in any shape or form, too, depending on where you are at in your life and what you have experienced thus far. At one time you may have found people who looked really good sexy, but maybe now you’re at a point where you want something more than a little arm candy on your side that can’t articulate a thought.

If you are evolving as a person, then you get to a point where you understand that a look is just a look and nothing more. Some people make money off of their looks and occasionally those are the people with the most insecurities. Go figure!

And then there are people who others might call unattractive and dismiss them altogether, simply because they aren’t camera ready, aka looking like they walked out of a page of Vogue.

Sexy; it’s a very unique concept and the older I get, the more I find myself focusing on what sexy is not.

Sexy is not a falsity of any kind. It’s not validation, manipulation or frustration either. It’s certainly not drama, or flakey or controlling. It’s not dismissive, indecisive or destructive at all. It’s not lying, giving excuses or making things up. It’s not one way to you and another to someone else, depending on who is in the room.

Sexy is sexy because it’s an inside job and one that exudes with the radiance of a thousand suns if you possess it. It’s like a beacon to everyone who comes in contact with you. They see you and they want to have what you have, but most people aren’t willing to do the work to get it.

Sexy isn’t lazy. It is a knowing that something cannot be obtained out there somewhere, but that you need to go within to get it. You have to heal the parts of yourself that are still searching out there for someone to make you feel sexy, which isn’t sexy at all.

Sexy is a place of complete and utter calm within ones self. It’s a knowing that no matter what is going on around you, you can’t be jarred. You know without a doubt that you are on a certain path and cannot be wavered from it, no matter what challenges present itself to you.

Sexy is being unapologetic about who and what you are. It doesn’t care if someone likes the way you dress, the way you talk or the way you expresses yourself. Sexy in essence, is freedom. Freedom from everything and everyone that has ever tried to keep you small. And that, in short, is what makes a person so damn sexy.

Are you expressing yourself fully or continuing to play a role for someone else, limiting the real you from coming forward? Are you staying small for others so that they can feel good about themselves? Are you still trying to manipulate and control people because you hurt so badly, it makes you feel better to hurt others?

Or, are you sexy? And do you know it? Do you own it? Or are you still having trouble with that one?

It takes a lot of confidence to dance around in a mankini, but I’d say this guy nailed it. The fro is pretty cool too. Just sayin!

Be you! Do you! That’s sexy!

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gretchenlynnallison

I’m a creative. This means I live in my head, my heart and my imagination; simultaneously. I love acting, modeling, writing and coming up with new ideas to help inspire others.

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