Learn to Discern

Discernment: the ability to judge well.

Then there’s the opposite: being an idiot. You gotta wonder what some people are thinking when they repeat stuff that has no business being repeated.

The other day a friend of my husband’s was at my house helping him with an appliance. Spoiler alert: we ordered a new one, but not after the kitchen was baptized.

To be honest, my husband was doing a fine job before his idiot friend got here. And I do mean idiot of the biggest kind. I used to like him, but that was before I heard him talking about his wife.

He clearly wasn’t there when he was here. His body may have been, but his hand was shaking, he was visibly angry and he was talking nonsense. His whole affect just reeked of bitterness.

When he said, “I can’t remember the last time my wife had sex with me” as though he had bought her at a market and it was part of her due diligence to give him sex, I couldn’t believe it.

One: I do not want a mental picture of that…especially where I eat.

Two: I do not want to hear about his sex life or lack of.

Three: I do not want to hear a man disparage his wife like that.

I didn’t appreciate the comment, nor the fact that he was talking about his wife behind her back to anyone who happened to be in ear shot.

So I let him know this.

“A woman isn’t going to be interested in sex unless there is something going on mentally. So if you want sex, you should probably talk to her more.”

He grumbled, “I know, I know.” Then threw up a dismissive hand at me. A real charmer, right?

I think the reason most relationships don’t work out is due to lack of talking. Not nonsense “how was your day” as you walk out of the room, or “the roof needs fixing” talking, but real talk, like “You seem upset. Is there something on your mind?” Kind of stuff. And then listen to your partner as they talk.

Well, come to find out he did talk to her. Well, sort of. He butt dialed her as he was drinking with the guys and she heard him disparage her to them. I guess that’s telling your partner how you feel, but doesn’t fair well on a marriage.

She moved to the basement. For the second time.

Honest to God! Does he really think he is ever going to get sex again with her? Not only did he disparage her to his friends which pissed her off, he obviously didn’t learn his lesson because he came to my house and disparaged her more.

The cheek of that guy! He doesn’t even understand the basics of what makes a relationship work. Respect, Trust and Communication. If you have those three things with a person I think you are on pretty solid ground. If not, well, you’re probably like this guy who is headed for divorce.

Discernment is a sign of a person who is mature. A person who is confident with themselves and respectful of others as well. Most people do not understand how valuable it is to learn to discern, which is why they go blabbing away to anyone who will listen.

The person who really looks like the bad guy here, when smearing someone like that and trying to have others question their character, is not the person being talked about. It’s the person doing the talking!

When I heard this song today it reminded me of him, so I couldn’t help but use it. I hope his wife learns to love herself enough to never put up with him again. Because in my opinion, a guy like that doesn’t deserve a third chance no matter how many years they have been together.

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gretchenlynnallison

I’m a creative. This means I live in my head, my heart and my imagination; simultaneously. I love acting, modeling, writing and coming up with new ideas to help inspire others.

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