I’m sure you have heard the term “reinvent yourself”
But what if we don’t really reinvent ourselves at all? What if we just become who we were meant to be?
We all grow up in different environments with people who are running programs from the way they were raised. If you’re lucky, you had a parent like I did who wanted to do better.
My mother was never given a voice as a child and so she decided to raise my brother and sister and I with one. She listened to everything we said. And still does! My father just did what she said because he loved her and worked all the time.
This worked for awhile and when I tell you I had no problems as a kid, I mean it. The problems started when my parents divorced and married other people who brought their own programs into the dynamic.
My Eutaptics coach, Ilka is baffled by this. Most people have trauma early on, but not me. My troubles didn’t start until I lived with people who had deep wounds. I didn’t know they did, I was just a kid trying to navigate her way through a divorce from two people who seemed to love one another and found herself having to deal with two adults who were threatened by me and my very existence.
Sometimes I can’t believe I lived through it. I suffered emotional and mental abuse and consequently feelings of deep abandonment because neither parent put me first. I was put to the backseat while their new partners were given the front.
Every day of my high school years I was in survival mode. I drank and smoked pot while driving, gained 20 pounds to get attention because I learned that when I shined others felt their shine was diminished. I stopped being me, but found that I could still get my father’s attention by being fat. He made jokes all the time to his skinny new wife and her kid at my expense.
Consequently, I looked for love from anyone who would give it to me in my twenties and thirties. I made horrible choices in relationships and always attracted the same type of guy. You know the one! Seems to have it all together but doesn’t even know how to love themselves, so they can’t possibly love you.
It was’t until I was well into adulthood that I started to see what all of the damage had done to me. All of the garbage that I had been fed for three years by people who didn’t know how to love themselves, let alone a teenage girl who was nothing more than a nuisance and a threat to their new beginnings with someone else.
Sadly, their limiting beliefs had become my own. I realize this now due to the inner work I’ve done, which is why I have no hatred or hard feelings towards anyone. it just is what it is and that’s okay.
Which makes me wonder, who are we without other people’s shit? I think we are who we were meant to be.
My message for you today is this: You need to be 100%! All the time and every minute of the damn day! If you are anything less, than you are settling for all of the garbage that was fed to you, too.
Reinvent or rebirth? I say neither. Just do you! You’ve done what everyone else has wanted thus far. How’s that working for you?
Give yourself and the world 100% and see where that takes you!