There are moments in life when we all feel like we are losing it. We become so angry and upset with a person or situation that we just want to go off on somebody.
What causes this? The way it makes us feel absolutely and utterly powerless, especially if you are a person who follows the rules, is goal oriented, honest, is kind to others and tries to do the right thing.
When we feel as though someone else holds the key to our future or our happiness, we feel out of control, which creates extreme frustration. But is this true? Is it possible to be out of control of our own lives?
The answer is no and while we may not like that answer, it is the truth. We all make choices and choices have consequences. Sometimes our choices aren’t very good ones and well, we might now be looking at those choices and not be very happy with them.
I find in life that there are generally two choices in front of us. It’s like looking at places to live. One apartment might have a large bedroom with a bathroom midway between it and the kitchen but there is absolutely no closet space. The other one has a bedroom you might be able to fit a bed in and not much else, there is tons of closet space for all your shoes, the bathroom is in the kitchen, but the rent is 400.00 less a month. Which one do you pick? Of course you take the one with the closets! Don’t you?
Anyway, you move in and you realize all that closet space doesn’t matter because you can hear anyone who comes over in your bathroom. Pretty soon you don’t invite anyone anymore because you are learning more about people than you wanted to. And forget about your appetite! Sure, you’ve lost weight, but you are wondering if you will ever eat again…at least not in your apartment.
So you get upset. You have signed a lease…for a year. Now you hate the place and can’t imagine staying there another minute, let alone a whole freaking year! You might call the landlord and complain. He doesn’t care, he’s already got your lease and your two months deposit. You feel angered by this. You yell at him because it’s all his fault and then you call your mother and yell at her too. Somehow it’s her fault too! Mothers get blamed for everything!
Eventually you scream at the top of your lungs to God, the Universe, whatever the heck you believe in at how cruel they are for doing this to you. Then you write letters to every person who has ever upset you and cry yourself to sleep on the floor of your crappy apartment with an empty bottle of wine next to you.
Once you’ve released those feelings of anger, frustration, exasperation, annoyance, discontent and distress, you wake up the next day and realize it’s really no big deal after all. It’s just an apartment! An apartment with amazing closet space! You didn’t even have to get rid of any of your shoes!
You go out and buy some flowers, an air purifier that makes noise and a new bottle of wine with all that extra money you saved. You’ll be damned if you lose that great closet space!
The greatest tool we have against feeling powerless, is knowing that we have more power than we could ever know. Sometimes it takes hitting a wall really hard, to discover just how quickly you can bounce off of it.
We all make mistakes or what appear to be mistakes, but they’re not. We are always making choices and choosing paths to exactly where we need to be, in order to learn the lessons in life that we are here to learn.
The ultimate one of course, is to love the self. So if you currently find yourself in a situation where you are losing it, understand that you were brought there for a reason. Take a deep breath, focus on the good that has come of it and if you can’t think of anything, let be remind you…look at how much you have grown, how much you have learned and how little you will tolerate anyone or anything that doesn’t see your value.
This is progress! It may not look like it, but the fact that you are feeling like you are losing it, is telling you that you have arrived.
Congratulations! From this point on you will never give your power away again.