I couldn’t help it with this one! This was a terrific disco song, but more than that, a rather interesting love song.
I like to cook! I had a restaurant in my twenties in Texas that served Italian food. I was not Italian, nor was my partner at the time, but he was a chef who wanted a restaurant and an Italian one was for sale, so we bought it.
Our relationship had already had its share of ups and downs and well, you can imagine that buying a restaurant and working together 80 hours a week was a recipe for disaster.
I wanted out for awhile, but I had also married young and took those vows very seriously. I committed to making it work, thinking it was all because of the restaurant that we were having even more problems and focused on getting back to who we used to be when we first met.
When all was said and done I was left with a pile of bills and all of our animals because all of that sweet icing we had once shared seemed to melt, once he met someone else.
There were days when I honestly didn’t think I could go on. We owed money to everyone, including a bank for our mortgage and yet somehow I ended up being stuck with it all. My sister and my friend, Sue were there for me as I tried to navigate my life without a map let alone any direction. As the days passed and they turned into weeks, I was forced to come out of it because I had no other choice. They say that depression is a luxury and it certainly wasn’t one I could afford.
Once I entered back into the kitchen of life, it was as if by magic that doors seemed to open for me. I was given little bits of a recipe but not all of the ingredients. People willing to help me, actually wanting to. A bike to get to work, then a car. Jobs from friends, furniture when I needed it, places to live and finally Cosmetology school, when the yellow pages randomly dropped on the floor at the office job I was working.
I don’t usually follow recipes to the exact directions. This perplexes people,especially when it comes to measuring. I just throw stuff in the bowl. I always add this or that or remove something I don’t want as well. I like to allow for different ingredients and possibilities, instead of being so committed to a rigid format. When we allow ourselves this freedom, life has a way of showing us just how miraculous and mysterious it is.
Often times we think we have met the love of our lives, when in fact we have met a person who is the exact opposite. Their role is not to give you the love that you cherish most, their role is to show you how little of that love you have given to yourself. Some people call this a karmic relationship.
It took me forever to get this, which is why I am sharing it with you.
The divine union of masculine and feminine is not something out there with another person, it is something that is achieved within. When you get to this place of uniting these qualities within yourself, you will never seek out there anymore for someone to complete your recipe because you already are the cake.
This is not to say that people cannot have healthy relationships if they are missing some ingredients. Despite our all our efforts, no one is perfect. Their relationship will be one based on the unity of their qualities and they will compliment one another. This is called the icing on the cake.
But if you are a person who has been devastated by a past love, then my guess is you have not only given up on the prospect of an icing, you probably feel half baked or maybe like a tart.
Listen! There are plenty of beautiful tarts and a cake that is half baked can always go back in the oven or you can make a new one.
Either way, get back to the kitchen, get out a bowl and start throwing stuff in there. It just doesn’t matter if you think you’re missing an ingredient or not, the important thing is that you bake again. Before you know it, you’ll have your cake.
In the words of my friend’s mother, “Every pot has a lid” but in this case, every cake has a frosting. Maybe yours is one you’ve never tried. But you will never know this frosting, until you bake your cake.
Just another way of saying, “love the self!”