Inky is very inspiring and his story even moreso.
It’s funny how we travel through life always looking out there somewhere, focusing on a destination. We think it would be illogical to even engage in a situation or relationship, if we can’t see where it is headed. Without an outcome in sight we may not even be able to think about the process, let alone start one.
Most of us need a destination. We need to know the answer to that cringy relationship question, “Where is this headed?” Else we will not want to invest our time in something or someone if there is not sured success.
I struggle with this all the time. I have auditions come in, get into character, memorize my lines, do the audition, feel a connection with a client or director and then may never hear another word again. This can be extremely defeating. One might even question why I do it, since most of the time all of the effort I put in and the lack of a sured outcome generally has nothing to do with me.
But today I was reminded by my youngest son why I actually do do it. He brought up Inky to me and how anything I do should never be about the win or the destination; it should only ever be about the process.
When we change our focus from the destination and focus on the process instead, we live in the moment. We are so focused on the process that we enjoy ourselves and have fun. If we are not having fun, intrigued or driven by what we are doing, then we should not be a part of that particular process. This should be your gauge for whatever you are giving your time and attention to.
I was reminded today of why I put myself out there over and over again despite the odds that are against me. It’s because I enjoy the process and I have a ton of fun.
But damn, that logical mind is a toughy. It still says, “I need an outcome! What’s the point of all of this work if there is no win, no destination?”
And here is the answer I came up with:
We are not about a future out there somewhere, we are about what we are right now in this moment. Who are we right now? Whose lives are we effecting? What is our message? What do we stand for? What brings us joy? And what are we doing about it?
When we focus so much on the destination, we miss the journey. The sounds, the sights, the tastes, the smiles, the laughter, the sun, the moon and the stars. We miss the breeze, the breath in every moment and the sun on our face on a beautiful day. We miss the rain and the rainbows after.
The little things. We miss them all. They are the process which makes our life whole. And if we can focus on all of those little things, we will see that the destination is really the amazing journeys we each take on a daily basis by staying true to ourselves, loving others and enjoying every minute we are gifted here.
I’m going to go pour myself a cup of hot coffee now. It’s part of my morning process and I absolutely love it!