What is self worth? Is it something we obtain by acquiring material success? Do we measure it by the company we keep? The way others value us?
If you measure self worth by these means, then chances are you probably struggle with it a bit.
You might give your attention to a cause, a sport, a group, an organization looking for the accolades, the acknowledgement, to be seen, heard, honored, respected. You might say its because you want to help or it’s the right things to do, but is it really?
You probably work hard, may even struggle at times with how much you work compared to how much you make. You might work over time, work when people need you to no matter the hour, or when someone calls in sick. The point is you do all this work because you want to be recognized for it. But there is a part of you that might be bitter about why some people seem to work so little and have so much.
You might commit to things you don’t want to do, especially if it is family or work, where you feels it is expected of you. You essentially put the needs of others ahead of yourself over and over again and when all is said and done, someone always says something or does something that makes you feel bad about yourself and you wish you would have stayed at home.
You probably hate criticism or at least that is what it sounds like to you, whenever someone gives you their advice.
You struggle with personal relationships all the time. To the outside world it might look as though everything is hunky dory, but the truth is, you feel like no one really gets you.
Sound familiar? I write this, because I lived it. For many years. I was always the person looking for approval, dreading visits with nasty people and saving animals. But after awhile you get tired of always feeling like no matter what you do it isn’t enough, so you just stop trying.
When I got to a point where I was so utterly broken, so utterly heartbroken, I knew I needed to make changes and this is when Faster EFT found me. It was through this form of therapy that I learned about programs people run and how I had been running one myself.
When I was told that all of the animals I was trying to save were essentially me, I didn’t like the way it sounded. I didn’t feel like I was a person who needed saving, but then when I thought about it, it became painfully obvious that I was.
I reflected on those words for weeks. Since I was a teenager I had been waiting for someone to save me; someone to see my worth. I wanted someone to love me so much, that they would unlock the cage I was in. But the truth is, I put myself there and there was only one love that was going to get me out of it and it was mine.
You see, we can blame others our whole lives and that might work for awhile. But at the end of the day we will still be in the same place. Angry, frustrated, broken, a victim of some kind or form, essentially a dog in a cage at the pound, waiting for someone to come and save us. Wanting someone to pick us above all others.
But as long as we stay there in that vibration, we will find others to save us alright, others to pick us, but they will be exactly as we are; wounded. They may look like a pedigree, but they will still be wounded. Often times their wounds will be far worse than ours and unfortunately, we will suffer the consequence.
You can only ever attract into your life what you think about yourself. This means the way you value yourself. If you do not value yourself, you will attract people who do not value themselves either, so how can they possibly value you?
If you really struggle with self worth, you may even attract an emotionally abusive relationship. This sounds severe, because it is. People don’t give emotional abuse enough attention. It doesn’t leave outward scars, but the internal ones take years if ever to get over. People do not see the damage caused by such abuse, nor do they ever see the true nature of the abuser, which is why it is so utterly impossible for someone to explain it. Their true nature is only ever exposed to those closest to them, to the rest of the world they look like a nice guy/girl.
Common traits of an emotional abuser are an absolute disrespect of your personal boundaries. They only benefit when you don’t have any, so they will get upset when you try to set them. There is no such thing as communication because they see everything as an argument. When you try and discuss your feelings with them you will get the silent treatment. Finances will be used to control and manipulate you. They will guilt or shame you to get what they want. They will not change no matter how much you beg and plead because they don’t see an issue with their actions.
If any of this sounds familiar to you, it is important that you do not blame yourself for attracting this into your life. When you love too much, you can attract someone who does not know how to love at all and you can spend the rest of your life trying to fix them.
We think if we can just love them a little more…give them a little more…show them a little more, they will love us the way we love them. But they won’t. People who are emotionally abusive are so damaged, it doesn’t matter if you are loving them or fighting them, because it’s all attention.
Isn’t it better to give all of that attention to yourself? Your glorious, beautiful nature may have been trampled on in the past, but you have all the power to change it right now.
When you start to love yourself enough, you understand that you do not need anyone to save you, to see you, to want you. You understand that you are enough, that you always have been and you do not need anyone to complete you.
They say you don’t get to pick your family, but if you believe in karma, that’s not true. We pick everybody in our lives due to our beliefs. What do you believe to be true about yourself?
Self worth is not measured by what we acquire out there, it is measured by what we acquire from within. Get to acquiring more love for yourself.