We can all struggle with finding our voice from time to time, especially if we are around people who do not care about our feelings.
Our wounded selves will take what they say personally. We are conditioned to hearing what upsets us most, just as we are to seeing it. If we have not healed parts of ourselves from the past, then we will attract these people and situations over and over again, until we do.
We will even sit there and be an audience to someone we don’t even like, as they pop off about this or that or say underhanded comments to us. We might even feel as though we don’t have a voice, because we certainly can’t seem to find it in these awful situations.
Occasionally we might. We feel proud of ourselves, but then the whammy comes. We might hear: “You’re so difficult and unreasonable” or “I can’t do anything to please you” in return. People who make us feel like we’re difficult for having an opinion or a separate voice are afraid we will use it and will do anything and say anything to shut us down.
Our wounded kid obliges in these situations because it is conditioned to do so. We might even feel bad for saying anything at all. And might apologize for rocking the boat. But sometimes somebody’s boat needs to be rocked; it doesn’t have to always be ours.
Most of the time when we are dealing with someone who is passive aggressive or just plain aggressive, it’s very empowering to say noting. People who operate at such a childish level unravel at a very rapid pace. They get off on our engagement with them almost as much as our being nice to them. Talk about a wounded child!
We can blame people all we want for our feelings of ill will, sadness and anger, but at some point, if we want to move past all of that, we have to work on ourselves. The fact that someone like that might be in our life, is a clear indicator that we have some work to do. We have to give a nod to the little kid inside us that is dying to be heard, to be healed.
The next time you are around someone who brings out the absolute dread in you, ask yourself this: “Is this a them problem or a me one?” “Are they showing me how much I am not loving myself?” “Are they showing me just how much garbage I accept?” And when you have answered yes to all of those questions, you can answer: “I am worthy of so much more!”
Being in love with yourself and feeling empowered by who you are and unapologetic about it, means you don’t have to be the Queen of Swords who cuts everyone off at the head if someone says something you don’t like. It means you learn to discern between who is worthy of a comment and who is not.
As a matter of fact, if we are fully accepting of who we are, when someone starts saying things that are off the charts inappropriate, we will laugh to ourselves instead of getting upset, get up and leave the room or not even hear them at all. We will have changed our energy, our vibration, and we will no longer attract people like this at all.
Your voice deserves to be heard. Carry on! Even if it sounds like Beaux’s. (My oldest son’s dog)