crushing grief, anguish, or distress
I love a synchronicity! The card I pulled today was about unseen pain. This song is all about that. Most of us have felt heartbreak. If you haven’t, than you haven’t opened your heart to someone.
An open heart is amazing! We feel like we are on top of the world. We’re giddy, overjoyed, walk with a spring in our step and feel an inner smile that comes across our face at the mere thought of someone.
And then one day it’s like you were looking out one window at this beautiful valley with a stream and birds flying above. A rainbow was even over the horizon! But then after time, you take a look out that window and you see that the landscape has changed. You’re now looking at a junkyard. Or, if you like food, it’s as though you thought you ordered chicken soup with carrots, celery and noodles and you’re sitting with bone broth.
Heartbreak is never sudden. You can say, “I had no idea” all you want, but that’s because you don’t want to accept what you are seeing. Our heart feels the pit. It knows, but our minds refuse to believe that we opened our hearts to bone broth or a junkyard.
In it’s simplest form, heartbreak is disappointment. In relationships, if there are more disappointments then not, the heartbreak is inevitable.
This song reminds me of a friend I met with the other day. Make-up and hair are always perfect, she has great taste and style and she’s always smiling. But as she started to talk to me about the relationship with her husband and the deep sadness she felt, the tears just flowed down her face.
She said she had very few people to talk to about him. She was embarrassed and had a hard time facing the truth about him. I said I wouldn’t judge, so she started to tell me about the lies. She felt like she was going crazy. She asked him things and we would lie. Silly things. And then bigger ones where she had the proof and yet he still lied. She said every conversation to try and work on things turned into an argument.
For me, one lie is one too many, and if your partner lies about things that are not worth of lying about, or insists on telling you that you’re wrong and continues to gaslight you, then you know they are doing far more insidious things.
As she spoke I felt sick to my stomach. It was not up to me to tell her that he was a covert narcissist. These people are text book and as she told me all of things that he has done to her, I knew he was one. You cannot change one because they don’t think they need to change. What you can do, is change yourself. What I could do for her, was listen.
It can be really hard to listen to people you care about and their pain. You just want to help them, but you know that everyone needs to get to that place of seeing what is really outside that window, not what they thought they saw, on their own, in order to truly heal.
Most of us feel like we can’t confide in someone about out heartbreak. We are afraid they will judge us, we think they won’t understand or maybe we have talked too much about it and now those we share information with are sick of hearing of it.
So…maybe we go home and cut our hair with rusty kitchen scissors, scream at the top of our lungs, or drink ourselves into a coma. But then the next day we rise and shine and put on our face that says we’ve got it all going on. Until we go back home and repeat the cycle, sans the scissors this time.
Heartbreak sucks, but so necessary if we are to move on to a better place with better people who are far more worthy of our time.
For me, one lie is one too many
While our hearts might be breaking, we realize it is not from what we lost, it is from what we never had. That is real heartbreak.
So while we heal, we can still put on that lipstick and pretend we are okay until we actually are. Here’s to looking good! Even when you’re falling apart!