An oldie but a goodie!
I want to talk about more because so many of us say we want more, even think we deserve more, but few of us go about getting it because it often requires a bit of discomfort. Sometimes a whole boat load!
I recently separated from my husband. We have been married for over 20 years and have three boys. We have separated a few times in our time together, but this time it is far more substantial. He rented an apartment.
It’s no joke that I have been through a huge transformation. While my core values are still very much the same, as is the love I give unconditionally, my lack of wanting to participate in programs and patterns that do not serve anyone, has greatly.
This has confused him and made him say, “he wants his wife back.” I get it! I really do, which is why I am seeing this separation as something that is paramount to his well being and happiness just as much as mine.
When you do enough work on yourself you do not feel the need to be acrimonious towards someone you spent well, almost a lifetime with, let alone had children with. I cannot speak for him. Right now we are working together, but he does have influences around him that don’t see relationships as give and take, just take. But I am choosing to remain optimistic.
I truly want want is best for him and I know at this juncture, it is not me.
When you know that you want more than what you currently have, staying in that place of accepting less is not an option; in fact it is soul crushing. But fear of the unknown will keep so many of us dwelling there, hoping it gets better, hoping for this, wishing for that, until we realize you can wish and hope all you want, but what is called for is change.
I don’t know where I’m headed and that’s okay. I am not afraid of the unknown; I fear complacency far more than that. I actually like being alone and am not alone enough. I have two children home now and my oldest is on his way to see me for Mothers Day. They are my greatest achievement and the most wonderful thing that came out of my marriage.
And while I do not share my thoughts on my personal issues with my boys unless they ask, I do have really terrific friends and family who really love me, support me and have my back. I need not look too far for a shoulder to lean on, someone to make me laugh or to tell me I am capable of anything.
It is not through our wins that we see who supports us, it is through our trials and tribulations. It is very telling who wants to be in your life when you are challenged and who does not. Sometimes this truth hurts, but all necessary in order to fully own the fact that you will never again accept less than what you know you truly deserve. We all deserve more love, not less; don’t ever forget that.
I share this with you so that you understand there is never any reason to accept less than what your soul is yearning for. The journey to self love can be very painful but when you finally reach this destination, you realize the pain you felt all along was really inflicted by yourself. You saw things you wanted to see, not what was actually there and that’s because you sought outside yourself for the love you should have been giving you all along.
Once you reach a level of self-love, you will never settle for less than more, more, and more!
Dare to have more!