I find it fascinating, almost comical really, when people invite you out so they can get dirt/gossip/the tea. First and foremost I don’t divulge information about myself or others and secondly, I despise gossip. It is so low vibe and people who do it are the worst!
But….there are people who live for it, which is why I say no to most invitations where I feel like there is malicious intent. If I do not feel that the invitation is authentic I simply say no. I know who my friends are; I have 5 really good ones. I can tell them anything and I know they will not press replay for another to hear.
I am lucky! Five friends is a lot! None of them live near me. I have been ridiculed by people saying I have no friends, but that’s because they measure friendship far different than I do.
I am always in shock when someone repeats things to me that were said to them by someone else, who you know they confided in. To me, this is the ultimate betrayal which is why I learned to discern a while ago who was worthy of my information and who was not.
It is a very valuable trait to hone and one I would recommend you do while you are reading this. Sometimes those who you think are your friends are simply people filing their ears with all of your stuff so that they can tell someone else.
The saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” So if you are hanging out with people who have disparaged others, gossiped or judged others and you have questioned their actions or morals, then you are in fact a person who has the same exact qualities.
It is virtually impossible to be with people you have nothing in common with. Maybe an hour out of obligation if they are family, but if you are continually spending time with people who make horrible decisions, hurt others, and gossip, then you are one in the same.
I talk a lot about environment and people you choose to spend your time with because to me it is very telling of who and what a person values. They might say they value you, but if they are spending time with people who only value themselves, then just know you are low on their list of priorities.
I prefer to keep my lips sealed with most people, unless they have proven to me that they are worthy of my trust. It’s not hard to earn someone’s trust if your intentions are pure, but it is impossible to get it back, if you have have lied to them, gossiped about them or disparaged them.
If you want a real friend, lover or healthy relationships in general, then keep your lips sealed.