As I pack up my house and intermittently look out the window, I can’t help but notice the neighbors I have had for the past 18 years, and wonder how it is they are still going strong as a couple and I am not. I think about how simple it all is, yet somehow it eluded me and I have moments where I ask myself, “What was this all for?”
It’s utterly ridiculous and completely uncomplicated, yet somehow, so many marriages fail. I mean, you meet someone, fall in love, marry, maybe have children and think you are sharing a life with them and the next thing you know, you’re not.
It’s not like it happens over night. Through the years there are clues. You thought you were under their umbrella and they were under yours, but the rain fell often and the storms came more times than you could count, and you realize that no matter how hard you you tried holding an umbrella for them, they were not holding one for you.
Being committed to someone is the most beautiful thing in the world and something we all covet. Yet when some of us have it, we throw it away. We don’t understand how umbrellas made of unconditional love are so rare, so we minimize it’s value and throw it in the street like its a five dollar find on a corner in Manhattan.
The hardest thing, is that you cannot convince a person who does not value anything how valuable an umbrella that is so rare, truly is. Your words are not heard or honored, and in fact they are turned into lies and attempts to make you seem irrational, so homes, childhoods and lives become ruined by their ignorance.
Love does not grow on trees, people cannot be replaced, and a broken heart can’t be mended by the arms of another, but people who do not understand what an umbrella does and how important it is in a relationship need to learn this lesson and those who already get it, move on to others who get it too.
What we all want is to have someone who knows us as well as we know ourselves, and maybe even better. We want someone who knows our short comings and loves us regardless. We want a person who finds humor in our idiosyncrasies and may even joke with us about them, but its all from a place of love, not ridicule.
What we want, is an umbrella. It doesn’t matter what it looks like either. We just want someone who shields us from the world and how cruel it can be. We want one who has our back. We want one who rushes home to see us when they have had a good day or bad one, because they value us and love spending time with us. We want a person who holds our hand when we are standing in a crowd because they don’t want to lose us and maybe even when we fall asleep, just because they never want to let us go. And when we are older, they always have a pair of glasses in their bag for when we forget ours.
We all want the umbrella; arms to hold us, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, a thought that is not spoken but simply understood across a crowded room, a sigh, a laugh, a gesture, a nod, a text that brings a smile to our face on a shitty day, and someone who says, “I’m here for you” and we know they mean it.
If we are being honest, this is all any of us really want, because nothing else really matters.
If you are a person who has someone that is your umbrella, then know how lucky you are. It is something we all want, we all deserve and something none of us should ever be without.