We shine the light on whatever’s worst, tryna fix something. But you can’t fix what you can’t see. It’s the soul that needs a surgery.
When we try to be perfect, it’s because we are always seeking approval. This stems from childhood and a parental figure who never gave it to you. This made you feel rejected. Deep rejection. And because you were a child, you learned to become whatever it was they needed you to be, in order to get their attention. But you’re not that child anymore. Unless of course you haven’t healed this core wound.
This need for attention and approval will show up in one of two ways.
You can see it when you go out. And while you may initially get irked by the behaviors of others, once you see it for what it is, you will never be bothered again by someone else’s energy.
There are those who will throw a tantrum at a restaurant if their order isn’t right. They get impatient waiting in line. They feel rejected and ignored if someone doesn’t recognize them when they need help, like a waiter or host at a restaurant. People honk their horns at you when they think you cut them off in traffic. It’s laughable really, but when you know the real meaning behind it, you see so clearly how they are adults acting like children, wanting to be seen and heard.
But most people don’t know that. Most people will view those who act like this as arrogant and react. When you react you only perpetuate this negative energy instead of transmuting it.
The other side of this deep wounding of rejection and abandonment, is the person who wears a mask of perfection. They care too much about the way they look, the way others perceive them and will do anything to present themselves as anything other than who and what they truly are. A shapeshifter of sorts and you know from fairy tales how scary they can be. Eventually that mask comes off and when you see what has been hiding under it, M Night Shyamalan has never told the horror story that you will experience.
No one is perfect. No one. In fact, the more a person seems to be perfect, the more telling their dysfunction is. Don’t bother yourself with these type of people. Focus on you and doing you and nothing else; this is empowerment.
If you’re a person who pretends to be perfect, the only way you break this pattern is by looking at yourself and asking the hard questions that you have been avoiding. You can’t change the past and you can’t keep blaming those who hurt you, but you can take yourself off of the exhausting hamster wheel of seeking approval outside of yourself at any time and give it to yourself instead.
There is no way to genuinely, powerfully, truly love yourself while crafting a mask of perfection. – Vironika Tugaleva