Cooler Than Me

Perhaps you’re like me, and you’d like to meet someone who is cooler than you. Perhaps you have met people in your past who you thought were cool and they wound up being a huge disappointment. They pretended to be cool, but were the exact opposite and now that you have become aware of this toxic pattern of attracting phonies, you want someone who is real.

I’m not saying I’m all that, but I know I’m pretty unique. One might even say cool. To some people I guess I might be quite unconventional. I don’t have a “regular job” or work “regular hours” and I don’t have the “typical” relationship with my children. I’m not religious, I’m spiritual I guess, but still say a prayer every night thanking the powers that be for all of my blessings. I make cards; some might call them oracle cards which sounds witchy, but I call them motivational and inspirational cards. I do not advertise them but due to their nature and the care in which I send them, I have five star reviews and have sold over 100 decks. I have crystals in my apartment. I send them to people as gifts when they buy my cards and aside from looking pretty, I don’t know much about them. I love animals. I have stopped traffic for them. I cry when I see homeless animals and really want someone who will embrace all of my quirkiness instead of making fun of it.

My friend sends me screenshots of men they try to match her up with on dating sites and I cringe. So when it comes to the thought of meeting men to date and eventually have a partnership with one, I just can’t get on board. Not that I don’t want to. I want to get on board. I want to share my life with someone. But it seems that most people are looking to hook up to fill some empty void within themselves and to me it’s just more co-dependency.

I literally run from the site and sound of anyone who is like that. No one can fulfill you! And if you are the type of person who thinks that sex is going to make you feel sexier or look sexier or appear sexier, then you are a lost soul and a bit of a loser. It had to be said! Sex isn’t going to do that for you, but it will give you a disease, maybe cause a pregnancy or even attract a stalker. But hey, you got sex and if that is all you were looking for, then you sort of gotta pay the price that comes with it.

I can’t tell I like someone by the way they look. I have liked people who others thought were very unattractive. Chemistry is what attracts people and you can’t know if you have chemistry until you sit down with a person. It can be as quick as five minutes. You just know! In the past I had a certain chemistry within me that attracted a certain chemistry in others, but that chemistry has changed because I have changed and therefore would never find those people cool now.

I understand why my friend has so many coffee dates. You can get up and leave after your coffee and never see the person again. But I don’t want coffee dates!

She says I’m not ready since filtering through a hundred photos and meet and greets is more akin to auditions for acting to me. And she’s right! I’m not ready for that. What I am ready for, is someone I can have as a friend. I want a friendship first. Being attracted to such a friend is just the icing on the cake, kind of like when I audition and then book a job.

But in a world where people are so focused on appearances, material things and pretending to be something they aren’t, my chances of meeting a friend like that, are about as rare as Twin Flames. Post coming about that phenomenon but you’ll have to pay for it if you want to read it. I can’t give all of my pearls away for free.

I’m not going to give up on my quest. I’m not actively searching for said friend, but I am open to them. I just hope he’s cooler than me, cause I’ve got three boys who are pretty tough judges of character and are pretty cool themselves, so if he can pass muster with them, he’s already got an in with me.

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I am an actress, model, writer and creator of inspirational card decks I sell on Amazon. I also love animals and spend a great deal of time working as a volunteer with several organizations.

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