Have you ever had to put the breaks on a relationship? I mean, full hault, like when you’re riding a horse and it goes one way full speed and you are trying to go another.
Let’s talk about breaks for a minute and equate it to relationships, because that’s just the kind of thing I do.
When you’re driving and the road gets a little curvy, you press the breaks cause you don’t know what’s around the corner. Kind of like a relationship, when you get a little nervous because you are too focused on what lies ahead, so you don’t even appreciate what is in front of you, so you slow things down a bit anticipating the worst.
Then there’s the pumping the breaks cause you are moving too fast and are afraid if you continue at the speed you are going, you might lose control. Same thing happens to a lot of men and women when they get involved with someone and things are going great. They start to question their gut instinct that says everything is fine and listen to their ego instead and leave the other person on the side of the road wondering what they did wrong.
You can literally wear breaks out if you push them too much, just like people. You can’t expect to move forward, step on the break, move forward, step on the break and not expect something to break. People need to know where they stand or they get worn out.
Then there’s the slamming on the breaks! This is when you have to protect yourself in a situation. This is when there is that Whoa! It’s a moment where you realize that you have to stop what you’re doing because if you continue at the rate in which you are going, you are going to get hurt. But generally, if you get to this point, you’re already there, so the best you can do is try and find a way out of it.
I put the breaks on someone a few months ago. I wasn’t going along a curvy road, pumping the breaks to slow anything down or trying to wear them out. I put a whoa, slam on the breaks move, because I realized I was the only one on the road.
It was an aha moment for me when I reached out for the hundredth time to them, hoping for something different and their response was dismissive at best. Their complete lack of interest in what I had to say, let alone a simple request to speak, was very telling of their complete lack of interest in me at all and I knew I could no longer engage with them. While I was sad, heartbroken actually, it made me realize that the car I was traveling in didn’t even have a break, until I loved myself enough to create one. And so I did, for self preservation.
There is only so much time and energy you can give someone before you realize they aren’t doing the same for you in return. And while your nature might be to give, if you are dealing with someone who only takes, then it’s a relationship that can only hurt you.
Relationships are not complicated, but people are. People complicate everything; even something as special as love. So if you have someone doing that to you, my advice is to say whoa. If this person cares about you they will show you..anyone else is a dead end.