Is this your story?
Missed opportunity day after day. You’re not with anyone else, but not with the one you want either. You might be full of regrets from all of the missed opportunities you had with them. You may have convinced yourself that this person has moved on and so you do nothing, even though the thought of them will not escape you no matter how hard you try.
Never having the courage to reach out, say the words you long to say and perhaps start anew, you have become the person who says they could write a novel, but it is safer not to, because they fear rejection before they have even written a page.
Yet, no matter how much you convince yourself that you don’t need this, don’t want it, are better off without it, your thoughts always come back to this person. Their words play over and over in your head. The what ifs, the why nots, the hows have consumed you. And just when you think you have it all figured out and the courage to make a move, your ego reminds you of all of the ways in which things can go wrong. So you do nothing.
The ego protects us the best way it can. If we have been hurt, the ego will step forward and be your guard at the gate. It will replay every bad thing that ever happened to you and give you a thousand reasons why something won’t work.
But the heart. The heart will not let you forget someone who opened it no matter how much the ego tries to stop it, which is why your thoughts constantly go back to this person.
This is the thing of love stories. We see a man and woman living separately, both pretty content with their lives, yet they are alone. They both yearn for companionship but are not eagerly pursuing it. They meet other people, may even give them a go, but it never works out.
This is because they secretly long for one another, but have never admitted it. They both know what they feel and don’t want to feel it, because one was hurt by someone from their past and the other one was hurt by the person who didn’t acknowledge the chemistry between the two of them.
But no matter how hard they try to forget one another, they can’t. Even though their feelings for one another have never even been expressed, they feel each other energetically. The woman tried to engage in conversation with this man to ask if he was experiencing this strange phenomenon, but he instantly shut her down, making it clear that he felt nothing at all.
But that wasn’t true. He felt more than he ever wanted or expected to for her. The following scene proves it.
We see the man pick up his phone and write a text to the one he cannot get out of his mind. He feels a moment of trepidation, but the excitement trumps it and he no longer wants to hold back. He is finally going to face his fear and ask her out; something he has wanted to do for a long time.
We sit on the edge of our seats, waiting for him to finally acknowledge his feelings towards her. Tears begin to form in our eyes because we know how happy they will be together.
He, like she, would love to have a life partner, but isn’t willing to settle for just anyone. He has tried to meet someone else but he can’t forget this woman. He misses her, even though he has never been out with her, has only been in her presence, which confuses the hell out of him because this has never happened to him before. He has played out their few conversations over and over again in his mind, trying to find a clue as to why he feels so drawn to her. He fears the worst; he has fallen for her.
The woman misses this man. And like him, the few conversations play out in her mind as well. Did she say too much? Push him away? And while his face is now fading from her memory, she can’t forget the feelings he brought about in her. She felt at home with him, sprang to life when he was around and longed to feel that way all the time. She glances at her phone when she hears the text sound and feels hopeful. Could it be him? Is he finally going to say something real? Or will it just be another crumb? There was a time when she would accepted those, but not anymore.
And then the camera pans back to him. He stares down at the message he has written. “I’m sorry. I never told you how I really felt about you, because I felt so much and it scared me. I would like to spend time with you. Is that something you would be up for?”
We are elated! The music has reached it’s crescendo. Tears of joy are streaming down our faces. And then he looks down at what he has written and all of the reasons why it will never work return and he listens to those, instead of the one reason why it will; because they love one another. He deletes his heartfelt words, sentence by sentence. Placing his phone back in his pocket, he grabs his jacket and heads out on the town to try and find another “someone” to escape his deep feelings for “the one” he lets get away.
The woman grabs her phone and sees it is a notification from Bumble. She looks at the photo of the man starting back at her. He has a kind smile and he’s handsome. She reads his profile further and he actually peeks her interest. She thinks about the one she had hoped the message was from. He never made a move towards her, only ones away from her and she realizes he was nothing more than an illusion. Some dream she conjured up in her mind so that she could believe in love again. She swipes right on the man staring back at her and they engage in conversation.
The orchestra plays a sad tune as we see her getting ready to go out and then see the man talking to a young girl at a bar. We are heartbroken, angry and feel cheated all at the same time. We wanted these two people to be together, we were rooting for them. But we also understand that happily ever after doesn’t always apply to love, especially when someone can’t get over their past.
There have been so many films with this exact script and the reason for this is because sadly, it’s so common. There are only missed opportunities because people who have been hurt in the past refuse to be hurt again, so they convince themselves that anyone they feel anything at all for, is a threat, instead of love in it’s purest form.
That kind of love is not common, which is why when it comes along it can really freak people out. But that’s only because we have never experienced it before. And most things are pretty scary when they are new.
If you wanted a sign whether or not you should make a move towards someone who makes you feel like they could make every day of your life brighter, happier and more joyous…then this is it!
Only an idiot lets “the one” get away. Don’t let that be you.
Could you envision the man and woman as you read that? Maybe I’ll write a screenplay!