What’s your poison?
We all know this means when someone must choose between two unpleasant choices. It also means your drink of choice.
But of what of the poison we surround ourselves with? Nobody talks about that poison.
When we engage with toxic people, we either become toxic or we disengage because we understand that if we are associating with people who are toxic then we are toxic too.
Toxic doesn’t mean a person is outright evil, although they can be. Toxicity can simply mean someone who gossips. I once had a friend who talked about everyone. One day I saw her chumming around with someone she had recently trash talked to me and I had this aha moment. I knew she must talk about me as well. I stopped talking to her shortly afterwards because I find gossips intolerable.
People who gossip aren’t discriminatory about who they spread rumors about. They need an audience in order to do this and anyone who will listen to them will do. The audience is generally people they have convincingly played the victim to. And I thought I was good at acting! These people deserve Academy Awards!
Gossiping is one of the most telling signs of a person who is vengeful. They also seek power from outside sources because they don’t know how to empower themselves. Pretending to have secrets about someone makes them feel special and in the know.
There are other sorts of venom people project onto others as well. If you have ever been around a person and you feel incredibly exhausted after leaving their company, you have been wiped of your energy because they literally siphoned it from you.
People who are poisonous don’t respect boundaries. They will ask inappropriate questions, get in your personal space and even when you tell them you’re not comfortable with something or make it clear you aren’t going to go there, they will persist.
Poisonous people will try and intimidate you too. They guilt trip you, are very jealous so they will constantly put down others, are passive aggressive and give backhanded compliments. Something along the lines of “You’re pretty for an overweight girl.” “That new haircut suits you much better than your old one.” “You’re doing much better than I thought you would.” Their insults are disguised as compliments and while in their company you might sense it’s a jab, but you won’t really feel its full effect until later. Don’t even bother trying to confront them about it. They will say you are overly-sensitive.
I personally think that if you start to question yourself, your ideals and your inner knowing after being in the company of someone who is venomous, then you probably drank their poison. And that doesn’t seem like a person who is supportive of you at all.
Be careful who you call friends and who you confide in. If they talk poorly about others, just know they have an ulterior motive. Of course they will never expose themselves for the snake that they truly are. Snakes rarely attack; they prefer to slither away. Unless of course they feel like you are an imminent threat. If that happens, your name is as good as mud too.
My poison? Red wine in winter, Margaritas in the summer, Bloody Marys and Mimosas on the weekends and Keto coffee on the daily.