I think we have all been in a situation where we feel things are unfair/unjust. It’s easy to blame someone else when we feel this way because we cannot feel things are unfair or unjust unless someone else is involved.
At the core of feeling as though things are unjust or unfair is this state of disempowerment. We feel as though someone else has the upper hand and that we have no power do anything about it.
But is that true? Does anyone really have power over us or have the upper hand on anything? They do not, but if we are running a program of rejection or abandonment (which most of us are) we will feel like we are victims to our circumstance rather than the creator of them.
If we are at a job and someone else gets a promotion we might feel likes it’s unfair. We need the paycheck, so we may not say anything, even though we feel as though it is completely unjust.
The same thing can be said about a relationship. We may feel as though we are being treated unjust. Perhaps our partner, ex partner or love interest isn’t responding the way we would like. We may not say anything because speaking up makes us feel vulnerable or we may come from a place of anger because we are not getting what we want.
If we are conscious, we will reflect on why we didn’t get that promotion, take notes and then go in and ask our boss why, and present our case. If we don’t get the response we want, we might get another job. If we aren’t happy with a relationship, we need to first take accountability for the way things are. We have to come from a place of wanting to work with someone instead of working against them and we certainly don’t want to attack them. If we know it’s time to move on, we tell them from a place of kindness. No one needs to be wasting time with someone who doesn’t want them. If we have expectations of others and they aren’t meeting them, then the first thing we need to do, is ask ourselves if we are meeting theirs.
There are people though, who do very unjust things to others just to hurt them, because they are so wounded themselves. You won’t know what sad little creatures they are though, because they will come across as bullies. Bullies only bully people who they feel are lesser than they are.
What do I mean by that? It does not mean you are less of a person by any means. What is does mean, is that you are probably in a place of service or in need of some kind which relates to the bully.
Bullies will threaten you, blackmail you, yell at you when you try to speak to them rationally, gaslight you (look it up), ignore your boundaries, trample all over your requests and feelings, take no accountability for their ill mannered and horrible behavior and to the worst and scariest extreme; run a smear campaign on you and tell everyone else you did to them, what they actually did to you.
They run a program that the world is unjust and unfair towards them every single day. This core wound of always feeling the world is unjust and unkind is established in childhood. A parent/caregiver (narcissistic) ignored them so they felt rejected. A parent doing this to a child is horrific, but it happens all the time. If you don’t get help for this, every time you feel the slightest bit ignored, you will essentially feel rejected and lash out at others, instead of the parent who did this to you.
When you understand that bullies are merely 5 year old emotionally stunted children, you don’t feel the need to fight back. You simply do what we were all told to do with bullies as children, and ignore them.
But there are times when standing up to a bully becomes a necessity. Like protecting your children, animals and those who are in need or in service.
Last night I saw something completely unjust. I felt so overwhelmed by what I saw my response was visceral. A man was bullying someone working in a store and it was so outrageous, I thought it was a joke at first. But it wasn’t. I approached the person doing the bullying and when I spoke to him, it was as though he was awakened, which he was, because when you rage like that it is a conditioned response and you are literally in a trance (thank you EFT for this knowledge). He turned around and looked at me in shock, then tried to explain himself like a 5 year old child who had just been caught doing something wrong. I simply said, “There is no need to ever speak to someone like that” and I walked away.
If you are a person who abuses your perceived power over others by trying to get your way and even threatening them when they don’t adhere to your ridiculous demands, please understand that there is a universal law that says “what goes around comes back around” and when it hits you, you’ll know.
You can only bully others and do unfair and unjust things for so long. You might think you’re getting away with doing this to people who are just trying to live their life, work, get by, move on, but you’re not. There is always someone watching!
Last night a crowd of people stared at the man who had bullied another. He looked around trying to explain his belittlement of another human being and people brushed him off just as he had done to the man he was bullying. This is what happens when a person who bullies gets exposed. The mask comes off, people see the ugly and once they see the ugly, they can’t unsee it, no matter how much a person who does this tries to explain away their cruel behavior.
Our voice is our greatest gift. It can empower people who are being bullied and it can silence those who are doing the bullying. Use yours wisely.