Passion

a strong feeling or emotion. an object of someone’s love, liking, or desire. strong liking or desire : love.

We cannot live without passion. A life without passion is no life at all. And while some of us may get through the day overlooking the lack of passion, we know deep in our hearts that it is missing.

Looking for passion equals desperation. It has an energy of lack on it and comes across needy and creepy at times.

Waiting for passion sort of means we are resigned to not doing anything about it. It says we aren’t willing to put in the effort.

But then there’s the type of passion one knows is out there because it already exists within themselves, so it is arrival is inevitable.

This song reeks of passion. The lyrics, “I’ve been asleep so long” pretty much sums up a person who has been going through the motions instead of being engaged fully in their life. Is there anything that will kill passion more than that? I can think of a few things off of the top of my head!

Lack of love, dishonor, disrespect, distrust, disloyalty, lies, deception, cheating, backstabbing, instability, insecurity…I mean, pretty much any of those things will ruin any passion you may have had.

But what ignites it?

My red dessert is honest. He’s got integrity. He’s financially stable, secure, confident (not the false kind, that would be narcissistic), loyal, supportive, emotionally stable ( I should cap that one). He doesn’t always agree with me on everything I do but respects my choices and doesn’t judge me for them. In short, he’s got my back and is there anything that gets you more passionate than that?

It’s true…I’ve been asleep so long, but not anymore!

Self Mastery

Self mastery in its simplest form is self-control. It is the ability to respond to a person or situation instead of reacting to them. When we have impulses and don’t think about the consequences of them, we are not in control of our lives at all and we will not be the master of anything.

Self mastery requires you to have a vision and stay steadfast to that vision, no matter what outside influences try to jar you from your path. It is a commitment to your growth and the willingness to strip away anything and anyone who is not in line with who you truly are and supportive of your choices.

Self mastery is not for the faint of heart, which is why so many people never master their emotions, they simply give into them. This means their ego is running the show and when the ego is running the show, it will do anything to win. It is not a real win, it is a perceived one, but the ego doesn’t know the difference.

The ego will convince you that you are right, no matter what the situation. The ego will have you believing that you are the victim no matter who is involved and it has a sneaky way of making you think others are out to get you, so you better get them first. But the absolute worst thing the ego does, is ruin relationships with good people because it will never take accountability for how it has treated others.

Self mastery says, I do not need to be right, I simply need to understand that everyone is entitled to their opinions and just because I may not agree, does not mean it is wrong. It values those in its life and only wants what is best for them.

The ego rolls it’s eyes, talks down, talks back, throws a dismissive hand in air and judges someone when they get an opposing view. It might even get up and leave the room when a discussion turns into an argument because a person who is being driven by their ego sees every conversation as an attack and is never interested in a resolution, only being right.

But self mastery sees a wounded soul when this happens. It sees a person who is carrying childhood wounds of being abandoned, disregarded and controlled. It understands that this is a core wound that the ego has refused to heal.

The ego will do its best to diminish others, punish them by ignoring them when they disagree, put them down and make them out to be someone who is bad, but self mastery cares not for what the ego thinks, because it answers to a higher power.

So the question you should be asking yourself is this: Are you the master of your house or is your ego mastering you?

It’s Not Witchcraft…It’s Intuition

I’ve often wondered about the women who were condemned as witches for using their intuition. I mean, seriously! It is very telling of how threatened people feel by other people when they cannot figure them out.

Back in the day I would have been burned at the stake. I make posts on Instagram daily and here, using Oracle cards, which to some people, are probably considered evil. I don’t really resonate with the word oracle because I see my cards more along the lines of inspirational or motivational. If you go to the message page on my blog, I post one daily and you will see what I mean.

I digress. My point is, we look at someone and judge them for their differences instead of appreciating them. We want people to be on the same page with us, no matter what we think and the minute they don’t agree, we sit in our tower and look down on them, condemning them for their choice. This is happening a ton right now with the people who got vaxxed and those who have not. The judgement is off the charts. Like truly unbelievable!

I choose to look past all of the looks, the backstabbing and the judgment, because I am here to inspire and there is no room for negativity from others simply because I make different choices.

You can’t inspire by sitting on the sidelines, you have to be willing to put yourself out there. You can’t be afraid to be judged or ridiculed either because quite honestly, you don’t have a choice when you feel called to do something.

Your intuition is not a witchy thing, it’s a knowing thing. And mine tells me at every given moment what is needed, despite what anyone else thinks and I simply trust it.

I love this!

Nocturnal

If something is nocturnal, it belongs to or is active at night.

It may be darkest before the dawn, but a lot of really powerful things happen in the dark.

There is something called the dark night of the soul. Eckhart Tolle explains it like this:

“It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness.  The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything. Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps, on an external level. Or you had built up your life, and given it meaning – and the meaning that you had given your life, your activities, your achievements, where you are going, what is considered important, and the meaning that you had given your life for some reason collapses. It can happen if something happens that you can’t explain away anymore, some disaster which seems to invalidate the meaning that your life had before.  Really what has collapsed then is the whole conceptual framework for your life, the meaning that your mind had given it. So that results in a dark place.”

If you haven’t experienced this transformation, then you have either not had any things happen to you that were challenging (which I highly doubt) or you have chosen to ignore those things by putting on a blindfold, turning your head the other way, suppressing your emotions and quite possibly being co-dependent upon another person to fulfill you.

Co-dependency at its core simply means you rely on someone else for your happiness. You can’t imagine your life without another person, need someone by your side no matter how disempowered you might feel at times and are willing to accept terms and conditions that do not necessarily fulfill you, but they keep the peace in your relationship, so you comply.

Now if you read that and feel triggered, don’t shoot the messenger. I know quite a bit about being co-dependent because I was that way before my dark knight of the soul. The funny thing about co-dependency is you don’t even realize how much you are, until you experience this spiritual transformation.

If you are currently experiencing any sort of trauma or tower moments in your life, meaning things aren’t going as planned or so well, then you are being called to awaken to some pattern or program you are running that is not serving you. In short, you are not being your most authentic self.

We all come here for a higher purpose. If you don’t know what yours is, then you are probably in denial in some part of your life. Like I said, you can stay where you are and continue to play your part or you can give yourself the opportunity to honor your feelings and speak your truth. Initially this truth need not be spoken to anyone else; it needs to start with you.

Ask yourself: Do I go along with others so I don’t rock the boat even when it is something I don’t want to do? Am I honored for my choices, my voice, my opinions or am I shut down and judged for them? Do I accept less than what I deserve? Do I allow people to speak to me in a matter or tone that is inappropriate? Is my time or space being compromised by those who only serve themselves with little regard to serving me?

Don’t be afraid to be nocturnal. Think of the owl. He is nocturnal and we all think of the owl as being wise. Darkness does lead to light, but it is in the darkness that we meet our shadow side and have the opportunity to shed light on it and set it free.

It is lightest before the dawn, but the darkness gives us an opportunity to reflect on what makes us happy and that which does not. Embrace it!

Rumors

We are living in a constant state of change now, so if you are a person who does not like change, you are having a rough time. I like change. I sort of embrace it because it means I am always growing and evolving. If you are aren’t growing and evolving you are stagnant and will get outgrown.

When you refuse to change, you are not ever reflecting. If you are not reflecting, then there is no accountability in anything you do. There may be those who vibe with you at this level, and then there will be those who don’t. When a person refuses to continue with such a lackluster engagement there won’t be any remorse on their end, but what there will be, if you are the person who does not reflect and is being left behind, is a whole lot of gossip from yours.

When an adult gossips or spreads rumors about others, I sort of equate them to a petty high school girl on steroids. An adult should know better, but if they are carrying an unhealed childhood wound of rejection, it will be the first thing they do.

People who talk about others and spread rumors and gossip are not only malicious, they are jealous and vengeful and have this core need to undermine others to feel better about themselves. People who are bored with their own lives love a story and a rumor spreader loves to tell them one.

The town I currently live in is filled with gossip. A few years back a man moved in up the street from me and the rumors were rampant. I was told his wife had cheated on him with the landscaper. Talk about ruthless! While people swooned over him because he was quite dashing, I found his honor more attractive. He never once said an unkind word about his soon to be ex-wife, and I think if anyone would have been just in doing so, it would have been him. It had a profound effect on me because all I had ever known before meeting him, were people who did the exact opposite.

My step mother was notorious for telling stories about her ex. She constantly trash talked him, even though she was with my father. Through the years she proved more often than not, that she was incapable of moving on from anything and her story of how she was so wronged lost an audience with me.

Then came my husband’s mother. When his father left her she was a puddle. I had so much sympathy for her because I was only hearing her side of things. She trash talked his father so much, I think he managed to maintain one friendship out of the thirty something couples they knew together after she finished with him. She showed her true colors many times after that and she not only lost me as an audience, she lost my children too.

Then came the friend of my husbands I used to invite to brunch. When he began the process of divorcing his wife every other word out of his mouth was the c word when he referred to her. When a woman had someone’s children, left her career to do so and spent over 15 years of her life with them and then gets trashed talked by their own husband, it doesn’t take a scholar to figure out she deserves better. But I guess that’s why his marriage crumbled; she figured this out too.

Revenge, jealousy, spite; they all make for a prime time tv series, but not when horrible things are being said about someone you had a relationship with. In a word, it’s shameful.

I don’t feel the need to tell my story to a few people in this town so that they can tell it to a few others. I have always strived for a far bigger audience. Marriages end all the time. You do what you have to do to see it through and you make sacrifices when needed, especially when it comes to your children. Like having your ex move in the basement because you realize if he continued to stay in an apartment a mile away, you wouldn’t be able to afford to send your youngest son to his school.

Situations are temporary, much like gossip. The story is only good until someone else’s life implodes and people take pleasure in trying to figure out what really went on. I can tell you this for certain; whatever went on is never being accurately told. What is being told however, is one person’s story from a wounded place and if they are the ones trash talking someone else, then you better believe that story is full of lies, but they will have you believing they are the victim.

But who is the real victim when it comes to rumors and gossip? Self image and social status is the name of the game for a gossiper, so if they are spreading their victim story they are simply seeking validation, but if you are being their audience, please know that you are not getting the truth.

I don’t listen to gossip or rumors because I listen to my intuition instead. I have no control over who says this or that about me either. What I do have control over always, is how I respond. And when it comes to trash talking, rumors and gossip, I simply don’t.

Expressing What Matters

Do you ever wonder how someone learned to talk the way they talk? I mean really wonder, wonder, wonder who taught them how to talk like that?

There are people who speak their minds and don’t care who they offend. They say what they feel and have opinions that may not be popular, but they could care less. They speak their truth all the time and aren’t some chameleon who changes their colors depending on who they are conversing with.

How about people who are so unconscious, they say whatever comes to mind, even offensive things, because they are completely clueless and lack empathy.

Then there are people who say mean things to others when no one else is around because it makes them feel good to belittle someone else. In truth, they feel so incredibly small and if you have ever met someone like this, they will be your greatest lesson in how much you value yourself.

Then there are people who don’t say anything at all! They just observe. They may even see an injustice, like someone being harmed by another emotionally or physically and watch it all go down, unwilling to step in and do anything about it.

We may learn to not express ourselves by our parents when we are younger, but at some point there has to be an accountability factor and you need to put on your big girl/boy pants and stop running this outdated program.

People who express themselves aren’t afraid of what others think; it is the one factor that makes them authentically and unapologetically confident with who they are. A person who speaks their truth and expresses themselves all the time is a powerful one. Someone who lives in fear of what others think is the exact opposite.

I didn’t grow up talking like this. I learned how to. Life was my biggest teacher. All the times I didn’t express myself, others were keen to express my opinions for me, and well, that didn’t bode too well for me. I was in a prison of own making, much like anyone else who is too afraid to speak up for fear of rejection.

I am perfectly content speaking my truth now and while I discern between who is worthy of my pearls and who is not, my thoughts here are yours to read, in hopes that you may find your voice and lay to rest anything and anyone that has tried to stifle you.

Express yourself and in all matters of life you will be free, no matter your circumstance.

Self Sabotage

When we think of the word sabotage, we don’t get a good feeling. It literally means to destroy something and it is deliberate. This even sounds harsh! But what is far worse than sabotage, is the kind we to do ourselves.

You know you are self sabotaging when you are in an avoidance state. For one reason or another you hold yourself back from doing what you want to do. Your heart is calling you to the table so that you may feast on life’s bounty, and you are pretending you don’t hear it. You bury yourself in work, books, exercise…it doesn’t matter, you just ignore it.

You may want that job that you dream about and then when you meet someone who works at the company, you say you already have a job or you may even walk away from the person rather abruptly. As long as it remains in your head you are safe, but when it steps in front of you it’s too real, so you run the other way.

You say you want to lose weight but then will run out to McDonalds and order a Bic mac fries and of course, a diet Coke. On some level you don’t feel like you will ever reach your ideal weight, so you make sure it won’t happen.

Perhaps your fondest desire is to be in love, but you stay home every night and watch tv instead. People may even try to fix you up and maybe you go out to appease them. You meet a person who lights you up and your heart feels a stir. Your ego immediately steps in and reminds you of the last person who broke your heart and you shut yourself off. You come up with a million and one reasons why it won’t work and never see the person again.

Why is it someone would say they want something and then do nothing about it, when they are presented with an opportunity to have what they dream of? Because talking means feeling. If we have to express how we feel about something or someone and have been deeply hurt in our past, then we will do whatever we must in order to avoid feeling anything at all.

You may have distorted beliefs at this point that you are not loveable, likeable, marketable, whatever it is that you are believing about yourself. You will project onto others what you feel deep within and turn away people who only see your light, not the darkness you perceive that you hold.

If you are carrying wounds that are this deep, you will either consciously or unconsciously sabotage everything you say you want in order to seemingly “protect” yourself, but what you are really doing is playing small. You are denying yourself happiness, love, all of the ooey gooey stuff that comes when you are living the life of your dreams and freedom from your past. You are essentially still living in your past, if you are self sabotaging. So while you may think you have outrun the devil, it’s actually sitting on your shoulder, every time you deny yourself what it is you want.

We are all a work in progress. No matter how much work we do on ourselves, there is always more to uncover. There is no such thing as someone who is better than us, more advanced, more spiritual, more anything. We are all just people living our lives, trying to do what’s right and maybe if we are more open instead of closed, we will see that under the need to sabotage things, there is really a yearning for freedom from all of our old wounds.

If your heart calls you to do something, then listen. Your ego has kept you small for too long. It’s time to shine and receive all of the gifts that life is trying to offer you.

Sorry

What is it about this word that is so hard for people to say?

I have said sorry many times. It always comes when I have reflected on my actions. We all react at times during our lives instead of responding, and this is when we will say or do things that might hurt others. Reflection is the key to seeing what we have done and how to mend it. If there is no reflection, there will be no change and of course no, “Sorry” or at least a genuine one.

Some people will say they are sorry and it sounds rather empty. This is because they don’t actually mean it. You cannot be sincere with an apology if you don’t even know why you are saying “sorry” in the first place.

Have you ever gotten a “I’m sorry you feel that way” from someone? This isn’t even a sorry at all. It’s more along the lines of, “The only thing I am sorry about, is this conversation where I am really uncomfortable because you are calling me out on my horrible behavior.”

There’s the sorry you wait for that never comes. Even though the most heinous thing could have been done to you, this person will never say they are sorry, never try and repair the damage they have done or even admit that they did anything at all. They’re called narcissists.

Have you ever had someone say they are sorry so many times that you don’t even hear it anymore? This is because one sorry for hurtful behavior should be enough. If the behavior continues, then the sorry isn’t authentic, it’s just a ploy to keep you in a loop of dysfunction and it’s called manipulation.

People often wonder if it’s too late to say they are sorry. I think that if you are thinking it’s too late, then this is a moment where reflection is really needed. If you ever feel it is too late for anything, than it probably is. The fact that you waited is the real question you should be asking. So you can say your sorry, but your sorry is only for you at this point because the other person stopped waiting for it and you.

There’s the genuine “I’m sorry” when you feel it internally. You know the person actually means it and as they are delivering the sorry to you, you don’t even feel it’s necessary, because you realize how utterly vulnerable they are being when they are saying it.

One little word! And yet so many people are incapable of saying it. Is it an admission of not being perfect? Of admitting they aren’t always right? That they took someone for granted and think horrible of themselves for doing so? That they said something mean in a moment of being human and feel awful for it so they would rather ignore it than say they are sorry?

I don’t know why people don’t say they are sorry. It’s one five letter word but it is capable of mending relationships if done with sincerity and ruining them, if it is not.

So if you’re sorry for something you did or how you acted or even treated someone, then just freaking say you’re sorry. All you have is this now moment. It is better to face a moment of discomfort then a lifetime of regret.

Manana!

This is a kicky little tune. I love Peggy Lee! I have a very diverse music list to say the least.

But this song…manana! I like it. It’s all about how there is always tomorrow when we don’t want to do something today. But is there always tomorrow? Absolutely not!

If the past year hasn’t taught you that you need to live in the moment and make the most of every day, then perhaps you need to get your head examined. The news changes daily as well as restrictions and protocols that we are expected to adhere to without question and what was once your reality even yesterday, is a different one every day.

I question a lot, but what I do not question, is why I would hold off doing today what I can do today, thinking I always have tomorrow.

I don’t even think about tomorrow! This is because I am too busy focusing on today. I do have deadlines when it comes to auditions or orders I get, but I always do them the moment I get them because I feel so blessed for what is being gifted to me in every now moment.

There is no guarantee for tomorrow, despite what you think. So the fact that you said I will do that thing tomorrow because you didn’t feel like doing it yesterday, well, today is that tomorrow so are you going to do it now or put it off again?

If you are a procrastinator or a person who holds back, thinking you will be given another day for another change at happiness, then I highly recommend reading the Power of Now. It is an exceptional book and completely frees you of the need to worry about the future.

When you grasp this concept of living in the now, you appreciate everyone and everything in front of you. There is no need to be calculated or worry about what others think, because you simply go moment to moment and do what you feel called to do. When you stay in your heart, you only take action towards things or people from that place, instead of an ego based one that feels the need to control.

We cannot control anything or anyone and if you think that you can or you satiate your ego by trying to do so, then the Power of Now probably isn’t a book you want to start with. Actually, you won’t even be able to get through it.

What a controlling person needs is to be less controlled. I recommend tapping for this. A need to control everything in your life is a sign of major unhealed wounds. If you have been deeply hurt in your past then you will do whatever it takes to not be hurt again. By doing this, you are never living for today, you are constantly living for tomorrow because you fear what will happen and are always trying to think ahead.

Living for manana is futile. You can keep on waiting for tomorrow to make necessary changes, or you can embrace the only thing you are guaranteed, which is this now moment. When you just breathe in and then out and say, “I am perfectly fine in this moment” you understand that this now moment is all you are ever guranteed and to think that you are guranteed more, is keeping you in a trap of your own making.

Release the need to control. Despite what you think, you cannot control what manana brings or if it will even come. Your manana is here right now. Be grateful for where you are, what you have and the fact that you are able to read this blog. It really is the little things!

Balance

A balanced life is a fulfilling one. We all know this on some level, yet we spend most of our time working.

Some of us will bury our heads in work to avoid life; the things that aren’t going well, our pain, our frustration. We think if we work harder we will forget about all of the things that upset us and we will be happier because we have more money. We think that more money means more security, more stability. But money is just paper. We make it, we lose it, we spend it, we invest it. It comes and goes.

Working harder works for awhile, but we won’t feel in balance, in fact we will feel the exact opposite. You cannot have all of your focus on one area of your life and expect the rest of it to be hunky dory. You might give a bit of your time here and there to people or your abode, (breadcrumbing if you will) but if you aren’t sharing the pie equally, things will actually fall apart or you will.

I work, work, work, work, work all the time. My day usually starts around 5am. Sometimes I try to stretch laying in bed until 5:30 but I have a cat named Milo who stares at me, willing me to wake up. It always works! He refuses to let me sleep in, so I accomplish in one day, what most people do in a week.

I never stop! In fact, if I don’t have work to do, I create it. I am alway creating. But every now and then I realize I am doing too much when I have a moment where nothing is going on and I have time to sit down and reflect. This is when I can really think about where I am putting my focus and what is working and what is not for me.

Yesterday I had a moment, so I sat in the sun and noticed that my body was achy. It has been alerting me for a week or two now that it is not in balance but I just kept working through it. I went to bed earlier, thinking that would help, but I only woke earlier (Milo was happy), but I was tired by 8pm the next day. I changed my diet a bit, tried to fast in the morning, but found I wanted to eat my right hand by 10am. More water, less wine. That didn’t help. I only went to the bathroom more and missed my tasty reds. I racked my brain trying to think about what it could be. What had I been doing differently? Then I realized it was what it I had not been doing. Yoga.

It occurred to me that I hadn’t done it in some time. Yoga is all about breath, and wearing a mask is about the exact opposite. I like the sense of community at the place I go and that is what got me there 4-5 days a week. When the mask order came into place I stopped going.

So today I got up and fed Milo and turned on You Tube to watch Adriene and did yoga. As I was doing the poses, she kept talking about balance and I had this moment of utterly clarity. Yoga was the balance I needed. My body was yearning for it. The stretches, the breathing, the flow. I felt better afterwards and actually, more balanced.

I’ve had enough of things that are unbalanced. The giving to someone who takes but never gives back and if they do, it is never to the level you gave. This is the first place most of us will feel this imbalance. We want to give because it feels good and sometimes we will keep giving because it is our nature, but we often attract people who just take. Talk about an imbalance!

But…eventually you realize you have been giving to someone or something that is not meeting you half way and you have to give all of that goodness back to yourself. It can initially be hard to do, especially if giving is something you do naturally, but necessary in order to be in balance.

The best way to tell if you have given too much is to listen to your body. Mine has been telling me for awhile now that I need more love not less, so today I gave it yoga. Now that I am back on the path of being balanced, I understand that there has to be this equality in all of my relationships, all of my endeavors, all of my passions.

Life cannot just be about work. Life is called life for a reason. It is about living and if we are so focused on what we are accomplishing, how much bank we have, and what others think of us, this leaves little time for much else.

Where are you out of balance in our life and what can you do to fix it? Sometimes it is just a little tweak.