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Never Say Never

NEVER SAY NEVER

Love this song! It never gets old.

Heard it today on the job-well not really the job. Let’s face it, I’m having fun for six hours. Two years ago I would have told you I would NEVER step into a barbershop, let alone work in one.

Now look at me! I look at men all day now (not like that) and can kind of gauge if it’s a one, a two or skin fade.  I mean come on, me saying the words, “skin fade”. It’s laughable. But I’m learning how to do one.

I’m loving it! I have clippers-a Wahl and an Oster. I have a balder (never knew there was such a thing, never thought a man would want one used on him!) I have clipper attachments! I actually get excited about getting clipper guards!  And I have a straight razor. I might be considered dangerous with all of the weaponry that’s on me.

But I digress. This post is about never saying never. It just doesn’t serve you. You should be open to all that life has to offer you at any given moment and embrace everything that comes your way.  Instead of worrying about that what ifs and all of the other bs, make your new motto be, “Bring it!”

Don’t say never to anything. Think about anything you have said never to. Maybe it’s a job, a creative endeavor, a person. What if that never was something that was actually good for you? What if that never was the beginning of a really creative future? And what if that never was just your ego trying to get in the way of what you really wanted?

The best way to find your purpose, passion or love is to look at what scares you most. We sabotage ourselves before we ever get started because our ego talks us out of it. We take the safe route, the one that is expected of us, the one that is familiar.  We say that what we really want will never happen because we don’t believe that we are worthy of it.

But we are. Every single one of us.

NEVER SAY NEVER!!!

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Judgement

an act or instance of judging.

the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind.

You can tell when you are feeling judged because there is an uneasy feeling you get deep in your gut. Maybe your face turns red, you sweat a little bit, talk like your tongue is tied because no matter what you say you will be saying the wrong thing, or maybe you don’t say anything at all! You dim your light so others can shine theirs and in doing so you become Tinkerbell before Peter saves her.

I spent time with family last week and when we are together family issues come up. Or should I say unresolved family issues. My family is not perfect and I don’t know one that is, but coming from divorced parents who remarried people comes with its own set of judgement.

If I recounted story after story of how I felt passed over, disregarded and abandoned by those I trusted most in the world, then I would’t be able to get out of bed every day. There was a time in my twenties when I didn’t because I was so depressed, but bills had to be paid so it didn’t last long. And I had a great friend named Sue who wouldn’t let me wallow in my misery.

At that time and for many years afterwards, I fell into situations where I felt judged. My hair was the wrong color, I had the wrong profession, I wasn’t smart enough to get a real job, so I did hair, I wasn’t college educated, I had been married, I had been divorced, the list went on and on.

The person who judged me the hardest was me. After awhile I believed so little in myself that no one even had to say a word because I came up with reasons to be judged all on my own so consequently the people I met only perpetuated them. No matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough so I determined that I wasn’t good enough.

I carried this belief with me well into my thirties and even into my forties. The person who writes this blog with these words is not the same person who felt judged. I consciously choose to not judge others because I no longer care to be judged myself.

When we judge someone we are condemning them. We are in fact saying that what we are doing is right and what they are doing is wrong and thus, we are better than they are.

When we judge someone, we put them on the defense. How can they not be? You are essentially saying I don’t trust your opinion or your views and I think you make bad decisions and choices.

We have all felt this from someone in our lives. It may have gotten so bad that we avoid the person or people at all cost. We may have avoided them so long that the relationship is not only fractured, that damn thing is never going to mend no matter what kind of cast you put on it. And that’s okay. You cannot mend relationships with people who are too busy judging you.

Learn to love and value yourself above anything else and you will no longer feel the need to judge. You can release the anger, release the need for punishment and release all of the garbage that no longer serves you. It’s done it’s job. Be free!Be happy! And enjoy where you are at right now. It’s all you ever have.

 

 

 

Apprentice

is a system of training a new generation of practitioners of a trade or profession with on-the-job training and often some accompanying study (classroom work and reading).

So I have been apprenticing for a few weeks now to become a barber. I have to say that it’s a real culture. I have enjoyed it immensely and feel so lucky to have found this place. Everyone there has been top notch and ultra real.

When I think of apprenticing I think not only of learning on the job, but in life as well. I watch my boys all the time and feel that they are in an apprenticeship of sorts but then I see that it is me who is learning from them.

I do not buy into the old way of raising children where they are supposed to respect their parents regardless of what they say or do. I believe that children should be raised as individuals and to be honored for who they are as people.

Children are here to teach us. I learn every day. My favorite thing is to sit down with each of them separately and talk about life. Issues, politics, people, ideals, beliefs. They have so much to say and I love listening.

What is life really but one giant apprenticeship? If we are living right we are always learning, always transcending situations, eliminating  toxic patterns that stifle our greatness and constantly working towards becoming one with who we now are and who we came here to be.

What will you learn today? I’ll probably learn how to fade some hair at the shop on Crosby Street,  but yesterday I learned how to shave a peach with a straight razor. It was so much fun I not only took off the fuzz, I peeled the skin. Not sure if I was supposed to do that but better on the peach then going all Sweeney Todd on a customer.

If it feels good do it, if it doesn’t then don’t.

Stay

to spend time in a place, in a situation, a place, with a person or group.

STAY

The lyrics to this song are so incredible and so full of pain. “Tell me that its all ok-I’ve been waiting on this all damn day. ” And while he has been waiting, he still cannot stay, not for the long haul.

What is it about people that makes them run away from what they really want? Is it fear? The unknown? The whats, the whys, the whos and the hows? Or is it really just because they don’t think they can possibly be worthy of such love? This is the constant battle inside ourselves that self sabotages our dreams, our desires and our souls craving.

While we want what we want, we deprive ourselves of what we covet most because of a lack of self worth. We do not feel we deserve love or any other dream we have, so we will do whatever we can to screw it up.

Why are people so afraid to feel? To fail? To try? To succeed? To live? To love?

I think it has something to do with our pasts. We get so caught up in the way things were or how something once happened and we forget we have a future and something called the now. Because right now is all we ever have and if you stay there, you really don’t have anything to worry about.

Of course the healthiest place to stay is in our hearts. Why can’t we stay there all the time? Why do we complicate life so much by pretending to be something we aren’t? Why do we push others away when all they want to do is love us? Why do we question everything we do and worry about what others will think, instead of doing what we want?

I don’t ever want to be the person who lives with regrets. There was a time when I had many but I have promised myself to always reach out no matter how uncomfortable, to go the distance no matter how far it takes me and to give to others even when they don’t give back, because I never want to say “what if”.

If you have someone in your life that you are playing games with or are even second guessing, you have to be honest with yourself and ask why. Maybe the person you are really fooling is yourself.

What’s the point? We only ever have now. And the only people that ever matter, are the ones who love you unconditionally, which starts with yourself.  Everyone else can just fuck off.

 

Do You Long for a Sunday Kind of Love?

Sunday Kind of Love

Well…do you?

Well honestly, who doesn’t?!

But in order to have it, you do understand that you first have to become it.

How do we go about doing that? We embody the very essence of love.  We become love. We show love, give love and eventually, when done enough, we start to see love returned.

But we cannot expect to ask for something we aren’t doing ourselves. How can you expect someone else to give you, what you aren’t even giving yourself?

Do you see yourself as a catch? Are you owning all of the qualities in yourself that you wish to find in someone else? Or is there still a little work to do? Because if you’re hoping for a person that’s all that and you aren’t, chances are you’re not going to attract them.

Maybe you’re looking for a person with money but you don’t have any. Highly unlikely you will attract them either. And if you do, there will probably be a price to pay that you can’t afford- like your self worth.

It is often said that we find what we are looking for when we aren’t even looking. The reason for this is simple. Your focus isn’t on it. Sometimes we focus so hard on what we want, that we are actually focusing on the lack of it which only creates more lack.

You can tell what you have been focusing on by what you see right now. Go ahead! Take a look. Did you manifest what you wanted? You didn’t? Then your focus is on the lack of it. Change your thoughts and you will change your reality.

Whenever I feel myself feeling shitty, I catch it as soon as I can and think about something that makes me happy. I wake every day and say how thankful I am for everyone in my life and do the same thing before I fall asleep. I sit in nature every day and appreciate its beauty.

I’m not perfect at manifesting but work pretty hard at it. When I need inspiration I listen to Abraham Hicks in my car and on my Ipod. I also listen to music. It raises your vibration immediately.

And how about that Sunday kind of love? Are you still looking for love in all the wrong places? How about looking within! Once you do that, I’m sure more than a Sunday kind of love will show up.

Stay the path, re route when you fall off it and never stop finding ways to love and honor yourself.

 

Mirror Mirror On The Wall…

You don’t need a mirror on the wall to see who you are, how you look or even how you are perceived. All you need to do is look at the people in your life.

They are a direct reflection of what you think of yourself. Now this realization will either make you feel pretty content or scare the hell out of you. If you’re scared, that’s a good thing.

It means you don’t like what you see and it’s time to go about changing it. The only way to do this is by changing yourself. Remember, you cannot change other people. It’s not your job and it’s a cop out. It all falls under the umbrella of control and who is to say you are right and they are wrong, anyway?

People are where they are at any given point because they are choosing to be. It is not your job to move them along on the journey, it’s theirs. Some people don’t even know they are on one!

When you start to look at life this way: that everyone and everything around you is a mere reflection of how you feel about yourself and what you have been focusing on, you start to become very attuned to what you are thinking about. This is also how you become a conscious creator of your reality and you see how easy it is to manifest what you want instead of what you don’t.

I read people and situations all the time. Every single day is a lesson into my inner world and where my thoughts are. If I do not like what I see, then I change my thoughts immediately because I am highly aware that every single person in my life is a mirror for where my thoughts about myself have been in the past or currently are.

You must be the guard at the gate of your thoughts. What are you creating? Where is your focus? Look around you. Do you really want to repeat more painful lessons of self worth by attracting people who show you how horrible you feel about yourself?  Or do you want to attract people who will value you for the super awesome person that you are? It’s an easy one for me! I’m done with shit heads!

I’m not just talking smack here, so test it yourself. Focus on red cars today. Think about seeing red cars. Look for them! I promise you that you will see them. When you see how easy it is to bring red cars into your reality, you will easily make the transition into bringing what you really want into it.

Remember, what you think is what you get. So think good shit!

 

Baby I’m A Fool

I love Melody Gardot! She’s just so…soulsy. Is that a word? If it’s not it should be. Her voice is the best! Baby I’m a Fool watch the video. She’s so bluesy and cool. Love her voice, persona, glamour, style and authenticity.

What’s not to love about love? It’s everything! It frees us from the prisons we have created for ourselves and frees others as well. It’s easy to put up walls, the hard part is tearing them down.

When we get hurt the walls come up. We wallow in this place of nothingness thinking we have it all under control. But it’s a cavernous void and despite all of our attempts to keep love out, it eventually seeps in. It’s inevitable because it is our nature to love, to be loved.

Once you realize the walls are no longer serving you, you have to bring it down. Brick by brick. The first one is the hardest. But once you start, you just can’t stop because you realize it’s the only way back to yourself.

We cannot attract what we want most, if we are not energetically aligned with it. Does your desire match your belief? Believe that you are worthy of love, because you are. Everyone is.

Love sets us free. It is the most beautiful part of who we are. It is our essence. And it needs to be seen.

We are meant to love. We are not meant to withdrawal from it. Love yourself enough to love others and watch your life be magically transformed.

Feeling the love!

lyrics:

How was I to know that this was always only just a little game to you?All the time I felt you gave your heart I thought that I would do the same for you, Tell the truth I think I should have seen it coming from a mile away, When the words you say are, Baby I’m a fool who thinks it’s cool to fall in love

If I gave a thought to fascination I would know it wasn’t right to care,
Logic doesn’t seem to mind that I am fascinated by the love affair,
Still my heart would benefit from a little tenderness from time to time, but never mind,
Cause baby I’m a fool who thinks it’s cool to fall in love
Baby I should hold on just a moment and be sure it’s not for vanity,
Look me in the eye and tell me love is never based upon insanity,
Even when my heart is beating hurry up the moment’s fleeting,
Kiss me now,
Don’t ask me home
Cause baby I’m a fool who thinks it’s cool to fall,
Baby I’m a fool who thinks it’s cool to fall,
And I would never tell if you became a fool and fell in love.