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Here Comes The Rain Again

I don’t know if it’s the Pisces or Scorpio in me and I’m quite sure it isn’t the Leo since cats hate water, but I love it!

I am fortunate to have a swimming pool and I don’t think I could ever live without one again. I also live about 25 minutes from the beach too and can’t get enough of that either.

Oddily enough, sometimes I don’t even get in the pool or the ocean, I just like having it there. It must have something to do with the fish in me. I actually feel like I breathe better, more clearer, when I see the water.

Water makes me feel lighter, too, especially when I am in it. I mean, you can carry someone who is 400 pounds in the water, so it makes you feel stronger as well.

It does a great job of cleansing you too. Not just in the using soap way, but when you cry, you release pent up emotions giving you catharsis, where you eventually feel restored and renewed.

Water absolves you of your sins as well. Not that I have any, but just in case, I do have some Holy Water that was gifted to me. Or is Holy Water used for banishing evil? I don’t know, but I’m good for that as well. Remember how it melted the evil witch in the Wizard of Oz? Wouldn’t it be the best if it were that simple to get rid of the people who cause chaos in your life? Throw a little water on them and watch them melt?

Water nourishes you as well. I don’t drink enough of it. Too bad wine doesn’t nourish you, I drink plenty of that!

Then there are the traditionalists who believe that if they dance, it will summons the attention of spirits, good and bad and they will cleanse the earth of evil spirits and welcome the blessings of the spirit world.

Well today it looks as though a squall might be headed our way, so I don’t know who summonsed it, but its a comin!

Grab a good book, cuddle up in your favorite chair or bed and get yourself a warm beverage. Maybe today is the day you write that memoir or poetry or a love letter to someone special. Maybe something along these lines:

Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you

So baby talk to me
Like lovers do
Walk with me
Like lovers do
Talk to me
Like lovers do

Here comes the rain again
Raining in my head like a tragedy
Tearing me apart like a new emotion
Oh I want to breathe in the open wind
I want to kiss like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you

So baby talk to me
Like lovers dHere comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
(Here is comes again, here it comes again)
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you

Ooh here comes again
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion (ooh ooh yeah)
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with youHere comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion

Love

Can we define love with words or is it merely something we just feel?

Let’s see. I might say I love you, but do I really mean it? Do my actions show it?

For me, love is actions. Words are just words. Sure, they can hurt, they can help heal and they can seemingly lift someone up, but if there are no actions or sincerity behind the words, then they don’t matter.

I recently came up with 78 cards about love, so I put together an extended list of the one word answers I put on them.

Love gives credit where credit is due, it doesn’t take the credit when it had nothing to do with it.

Love honors those in it’s life, it doesn’t dishonor or disparage them.

Love is constant, not ever-changing depending on who is in the room.

Love is a problem solver, not a creator of them.

Love sets about making changes when someone isn’t happy, it doesn’t press the reset button and pretend all is well.

Love is having someone’s back, not stabbing them in it.

Love has its own words, it doesn’t need take anyone else’s.

Love is authentic, it’s not a charlatan.

Love is talking someone up, not talking down to them.

Love is generous, because the opposite is stingy, and love doesn’t know how to do that.

Love is unconditional, not overwrought with them.

Love is constant, not lukewarm, cold or calculating.

Love is too busy guarding those it loves to be guarded.

Love is free, so there is no need to worry that are you ever giving too much of it, unless you are not getting it in return.

Love listens with an attentive ear, it doesn’t pretend it didn’t hear you.

Love protects the people in it’s life, it doesn’t hurt them.

Love treats you with respect because it demands the same for itself.

Love is truthful, not filled with half truths or outright lies.

Love keeps its promises, it doesn’t break them.

Love meets you half way, because there is no other distance.

Love is selfless, not self-serving.

Love is being empathetic, not narcissistic.

Love knows when it is loved because it is a feeling of utter joy, contentment and total acceptance of what it is. Anything that pretends to be otherwise, is control.

Love is the most beautiful emotion in the world. Love does everything for everyone, no matter who they are, what they are, what they do for a living, how much money they make or what they look like.

When you live without love you suffer. For some of us it is not by choice. We may have thought we met someone who loved us, only to realize it was never really love, it was something far more insidious.

We may have been hurt by them so deeply, we don’t know if we will ever recover. We may even blame ourselves for allowing them into our lives. How could we have been so fooled? How could we have been so wrong?

The answer is simple once you figure it out, but it doesn’t come without pain. It’s a horrible and cruel lesson to be sure. But one that is necessary if you want the kind of love I just described.

You have to look within. You have to love yourself so much, that anyone who does not know what love is, goes away. The narcissists of the world will be obliterated from your arena simply because you won’t attract them anymore. into our existence and we clear the path way to our front door for the love that will knock our socks off, because we know that’s all we will accept going forward.

Here’s to Love! May we all experience the fairy tale love that Disney movies are made of. Cause if you’re reading this, you deserve it! Remember, it all starts with you loving you!

What is a Fool?

Back in the day you were a a court jester or fool during the medieval and Renaissance eras. You were also the member of the household of a nobleman or a monarch employed to entertain guests. If you were exceptional at being a fool, you were taken very well care of. If not…well, “off with his head” probably got thrown around a bit.

Nowadays a fool is simply someone who lacks judgment.

In the tarot deck I created, he’s a clown. Not someone walking off of a cliff with his head in the clouds, having no idea he is about to fall.

But what of this song? It’s zippy and fun, but there is a line that says, “Dreams aren’t found, they’re made.”

It is a fool who does not go after their dreams. A fool sits idly by while others do, and they curse themselves for having not done anything about what they want.

A fool will sit back and talk about the “what ifs” instead of getting off of their toochas and taking a chance.

A fool thinks they have all of the time in the world, too. I need not worry now. There’s always tomorrow. And then tomorrow comes and they think of another excuse.

Fools assume a lot too. They think because something didn’t work out one time, it most definitely won’t work out again, so they give up on even trying. Can you image if all of the people who have invented things we use today thought that way?

It is said to “Suffer fools gladly”. A rather arrogant statement to be sure.

But what of the fool who lets life happen to them instead of making life happen for them? What becomes of that fool?

Don’t wonder! Kiss her you fool!

Body Conscious

One of the reasons I like going to the beach, aside from the obvious, is seeing all of the people.

I sit in my chair, read a book, listen to music, the waves, the birds and people watch. I absolutely love people at the beach! They are completely at ease, doing their own thing, being one with nature and letting all of themselves be seen.

Sometimes there are the bodies that I find too thin. And despite the quote about you can never bee too thin, I think that’s wrong. There is such a thing.

I like people who have some girth. They wear a bikini, trunks where their belly shows and walk along unapologetically about who they are and what they look like.

Every now and then you see someone trying to cover all of that up, which makes no sense since they are at the beach, but you can tell they are conscious of their body. And it’s not their fault.

Our society has long glamorized the thin. I’m not sure why, since some of the most iconic women in history have not been waifs.

I personally think women with curves look like women. I appreciate a little fat on a body, it lets me know you like to relax, have a drink now and then, eat a good meal and aren’t too uptight or controlling. This is a person I can spend some time with.

I’ve spent plenty of time with people who obsessed about being thin. Counting every calorie, fat shaming anyone who dared to enjoy themselves and sweating profusely at breakfast while they glorified their six mile run to me and my children who were trying to eat bacon.

People who are body conscious to the point of trying to put their values on others are just plain obnoxious. Good for you for putting in all that effort! Now, can you pass me a beer and some of that guacamole!

Have a drink, eat some freaking food you like and like yourself for who you are, not how much exercise you do. People who are attracted to people for nothing more than their looks are not evolved. Empty, narcissistic shells. I like shells, just not when it comes to people.

I for one am trying to enjoy the life I have, not worry about what others think or fitting into my skinny jeans. Where am I going? Where are you going? It’s Covid season.

Tears

Tears are a response to an emotional state, pain or a physical irritation of the eye.

Sometimes tears come when we are cutting an onion. Our eyes become irritated and they need to release the element that is causing it.

Tears of pain aren’t fun. We bash our toes into a standing fan and break two of them and bam, those tears are flowing!

Tears of sorrow. Quite possibly the worst! Overwhelmed with grief, we have no other option but to let those babies come. We release all of that anguish in the moment the waterworks start.

Tears of joy. Those are nice ones. We become so overwhelmed with happiness, that tears flow from our eyes and then we eventually burst into laughter.

Tears are natural and are the brains way of releasing neurotransmitters. So if you are sad, it makes you feel better and if you are happy, it makes you feel happier.

But what of the tears we wish to drink from our enemies, like Genghis Khan wanted? I have a coffee cup that says that on it which got me thinking…Can a person really be so vengeful to want to do that? I think the answer is yes.

We see this a lot today. We don’t know who is telling the truth, what to believe, who to listen to or where we stand in all of it. It just seems to be a will of control and power. No tears are being cried over there.

But there are plenty of tears being cried by people who are struggling. And there is a lot of those folks.

I have found this entire Covid to be nothing short of tragic. Not just the lives that have been lost, but the fact that no information has been forthcoming in anything about it.

People have lost their jobs, lost their homes, lost their dignity, health insurance, the ability to pay for food, and the right to show their pearly whites as they express a much needed human emotion.

And after all of the asking, not much is being done in the giving department. Just ask ask ask and take take take. Everyone has raised their prices, but you aren’t getting any better service or better quality merchandise than you were before.

Where does it end? How does it end? What is being asked of all of us that we aren’t quite getting? Is it to be more savvy? More controlling? More reserved? More stingy? Or more giving?

I think the best thing to come out of all of this is Mother Nature getting the break she so rightly deserves. It’s ironic really. As powerful as men think they are, she has shown she is still far superior and pretty much put us all in our place.

People have been wearing masks far before Covid, so I find that pretty ironic as well, since they have now become the new norm. Now we can all hide who we really are, which is a damn shame, if you happen to be a person who is authentic.

I don’t like wearing a mask because it itches and fogs up my glasses. But I wear one because I am being told to. No other reason. I was on an airplane a week ago and was sitting right next to two people. While waiting to board the plane we were standing shoulder to shoulder. So much for six feet! I was wearing a mask because I was told to, but I didn’t feel any safer. I don’t like to fly. Flying doesn’t make me feel safe, it had nothing all to do with standing so close to humans.

How do the Ghengis Khans of the world become so notorious? They punish anyone who does not submit to their will. Perhaps the nightly news will reiterate that history always repeats itself, no matter how much you try to ignore it, tear it down or simply go along with what is being asked of you without asking why.

Building Sandcastles

When is the last time you did that? Went to the beach and built a big old sand castle with a mote, shells for windows and sticks for a draw bridge?

Probably when you were five, right? Why is that? Why do we forget to do these free activities that get our hands dirty and allow our minds to wander, thinking about the endless possibilities of things we can create.

The best thing about a sand castle is you can always wreck it if it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted. You can rebuild it, too and it doesn’t cost you a thing for that tear down! And if you leave for the day, someone else will come along and take ownership of it and start adding onto it.

Relationships are like sand castles, aren’t they? Often times we build and build and add onto our foundation, only to have it be washed away the minute a big wave of turmoil comes along.

Although tragic, if we don’t work on ourselves and learn to move past all of the pain, we might start to think our union was built on sand and steer clear of the beach altogether. We may even go so far as to avoid the beach because we don’t ever want to feel the sand again!

Maybe we sit by pools instead, cause its safer. No sand is getting in our toes! Not now, not ever again.

But in the distance at your fancy resort you see a beach. You see people running, frolicking on it. They are barefoot, holding hands and maybe even running in the water.

You wonder…why do they look so freaking happy? You’re the one who should be happy! You’re clean, free of that mess and in control of your surroundings.

But still, there’s that ocean! You can’t get near an ocean unless you walk on the sand. The sand where you build castles.

Just because one castle didn’t last, doesn’t mean another won’t. But you will never find out, unless you get back in the sand and try and build a new one.

Some relationships are not meant to last. Like a sand castle at the beach, some will sustain the waves while others fall back into the water and disappear. We will always have the memories of the ones we built, but it is the healed person who understands that just because one sand castle didn’t withstand the waves, doesn’t mean the next one won’t.

Sure, sand is messy, but it leads you to the water. A brilliant pool of blues, greens and turquoise that you could stare at forever, much like the eyes of a lover.

Here’s to building sand castles! And if you haven’t built one in awhile or have been avoiding the beach, maybe it’s time you gave it another go. It’s only sand and it feels so good between your toes!

Presence or Presents?

Last night when I went to bed I was looking so forward to sleeping in. My husband went to visit a friend for a few days, which means the dog (his dog) will be calm. No getting up early, quiet quiet quiet in the house because I have three boys who sleep in and nothing but me and my big bed to sprawl out in.

But this morning, oh at around 5-ish, I felt a presence. I tried to ignore it, you know, like when you are watching a scary movie and you put your shirt over your head? I used the covers. But still it persisted. The presence became ever more apparent, almost as if it was coming closer towards me, staring me down. I could feel the staring!

When I pulled back the covers I saw him. That damn cat! His name is Milo. He has been trained to get up at this unGodly hour, because my husband ran for years at that time. Apparently Milo didn’t get the memo (or couldn’t read it), that this is no longer a thing.

I tried to ignore him. Maybe even nudged him a bit, so he went away, but he jumped back on the bed and stared at me from the other side. That cheeky little #$%^&*(!

I don’t like cats. I mean, I do, I’m just highly allergic to them. But Milo is more like a dog in a cat body. He has all of that icky fur thing going on that makes me allergic, but his personality is off the charts.

I think a lot of people who come here come to see him, not us. If he were human, I would tell him to run for office. But he’s not. He’s a cat. A cat dog. He’s not afraid of anything and most dogs that come into our home from fostering are afraid of him.

I’m afraid of him. I think he actually plots things. I wouldn’t be surprised if he spoke several languages or had a secret society somewhere, like Perry the Platypus. He also eats at the marble counter top with my boys, like he’s one of them. I know, right?! Has his own chair and everything! If you are sitting in his chair and he wants to go there, he stares you down like he wishes you were dead.

When he first came to us he weighed one pound. One pound! He was barely alive, had gunk in his eye and also had severe pneumonia. His chances were slim to none really. I was told he needed to gain weight, in addition to being fed copious amounts of medicines. In short, he was a lot of work. But when you sign on to foster animals, you take what is given to you and you do your part the best you can.

Fast forward 13 years later and this guy is not only still here, he weighs a whopping 22 pounds. Yeah, he’s a big boy! And that big boy makes a really loud sound when he jumps from the bed to the floor. He actually does it until you wake up. Or he walks on the alarm clock and somehow manages to turn on the music.

Genius? Probably not. A present? Certainly! That cat is a real gift. He makes us laugh, gives love and affection in just the right amount of doses and seems to know when you need a kiss. He also lets you have it when you bother him too much, which I totally appreciate. Except of course when I am on the receiving end of his death wheel grip.

Milo, in short is a presence that is a present. I just wish he would learn to sleep in!

Breathe

I am missing my yoga practice at present. If you practice yoga, then you know that a large part of it is about breathing. It’s actually everything, but somehow we forget to do it, just like I have forgotten to do yoga.

I started out pretty steady but without accountability on the mat at a studio, I kind of lost my mojo.

Not too many of us take deep breaths, like really take in air and let it out. Pause between the breaths. Allow ourselves a moment to reset.

I know I don’t. I go go go and then go some more. I’m sort of like a whirling dervish! The only time I shut down is when I sleep and sometimes my sleep is disrupted, which is why yoga is so good for me.

Bu I have lapsed in my practice. I started out all gung ho when this quarantine first happened and even posted photos on my Instagram of doing poses, but now…well, I haven’t visited my mat in about two months and I am feeling it.

I’m sluggish, but am having a hard time finding the motivation to get going again. To get breathing again.

But I know myself well enough to know that what I really miss, is the community of yoga. I can easily sign up for the on line zoom classes, but I need to be around people. While I am a person who likes being by themselves most of the time, I do like being around like-minded individuals.

Practicing yoga has been a huge part of my life for a long time now. I love everything about it, except practicing at home. It’s just not the same.

I don’t like incense, but somehow I find myself missing it. I don’t like being on top of other people in a full class either, but somehow I find myself missing that too. I even miss the end of class when the instructor comes around and gives me that mini massage on my temples with essential oils too.

Essentials. I am missing the essentials. The touch, the smell, the camaraderie, the basic needs of a human to feel connected in life, to be connected to people.

I miss breathing. Without a mask.

How about you?

Maps

Maps take us to wherever we want to go. I for one cannot read one for beans, but I am a bit of an expert when it comes to Google Maps. Not such a fan of Waze, since I have found myself in areas where I pray that it doesn’t stop working!

Recently I was on a boat for a week, where using navigation is crucial. One slip and you can end up on death rock. But we had a trusty Captain and an amazing first mate. I am speaking of my sister and her husband. Their daughter is quite the sailor as well. I admit, I was useless.

I did my part the best I could, making meals, cleaning up, etc. and even managed to keep my room neat, but the first day we were under sail I got sea sick, when I made a lofty attempt to get us all a drink.

The wave of heat hit me in the face like a Mack truck, when I stumbled in the galley to find a lime to cut to put into our Caribe beers. How ambitious was that? I managed, but then came outside and stumbled over to the perch where I remained for two hours, dipping crackers into tuna salad and eating olives. Salt! Must have salt!

I finally came to when we landed in Maho bay and I saw beautiful sea turtles swimming all around the boat. The water, the company, the sunsets and sunrises were nothing short of perfect.

But I’ll never do it again! Never!

I’ve done a few of these sailing trips. I always say I will never do them again and then yet somehow I find myself back on them. I don’t know if it is the adventurer in me or the one who forgets simple details…like how much I hate sailing.

And this boat was tricked out! I was on a yacht with air conditioning. I had my own bedroom, my own bathroom and unfortunately, my own mishegas to deal with.

Rocking back and forth on a boat isn’t fun. Nor is anchoring. Neither is showering with soap running in your eyes because you have to watch how much water you use. I am still exhausted from all that sun (I am really pale naturally), got blisters on my lips because the vanity in me likes a splash of color instead of SPF, have little cuts on my toes from random boat bites, got stung by a bee who decided to take a ride on our dinghy along with me and felt dizzy for 4 days when I came home because I was still rocking from being on the boat.

Did I mention the locals were’t too friendly due to Covid? Most places were closed and despite all that, I gained at least 8 pounds! I don’t know about you, but I was in pretty great shape before Covid. Now…eh.

I was never so happy to reach my return date and didn’t even mind taking the puddle jumper from St Thomas to Puerto Rico!

As I watched the pilot follow the map on his dashboard (I was in the co-pilot seat), I wondered how many times he had taken that flight. He probably didn’t even need a map, yet he followed it anyway.

It made me think about our intentions of going one place and sometimes ending up going elsewhere. It is the only time that a map; one that is not written down, seemingly fails us.

We have no problem following one on radar, paper or otherwise, but when it comes to life and making decisions, sometimes our map steers us off course and we wind up taking a circuitous route to where we really want to be.

We think we want one thing, so we go in that direction and then life gets in the way. It has its own plan. We make other plans, follow other maps and still we wonder how we got where we are.

But its actually so simple. Most of us do not follow our internal map or guidance. We follow our ego instead, which leads us down roads we later regret.

What is your internal map telling you?

Mine is saying that if my sister asks me to sail with her again I probably will. Even though I found the trip exhausting, I liked spending time with her.

Life is funny like that. No matter what we endure, we quickly forget, when love is at the foreground of it all. Some of my favorite pics from our trip.

When Life Gives You Lemons…

When given lemons you make lemonade, but if you are a chef, you make lemon meringue! Well I am no chef, and with the current situation in our world, it appears that I am no actress or model either.

I am so tired of cooking and cleaning and doing housework because there is nothing else to do, that I knew I had to do something to reinvent myself. So I looked at what I know how to do, what I like to do, and what I could do with all of that.

Many many years ago I owned and operated a restaurant with my ex husband, who was a chef. I hated the place! It took over three years of my life away and I wound up spending the next ten years trying to rebuild not only my life, but my credit as well.

While I thought all of the time spent in that place was lost and had done nothing for me except make me find a diet without looking for one, I came up with a creative venture out of the blue.

I absolutely love oracle and tarot cards and collect them. I am not a professional reader nor do I care to be. I think we create our own lives and do not need someone else to predict things for us, but I do like playing with them.

So I created my own! As if by magic, the images and ideas came into my mind within a span of two weeks. I have created more than 5 decks and have at least 4 more that I will create in the near future.

Once I got going with it, I had people reach out to me who had created their own decks and the next thing I knew I had an LLC. I am officially “Eighty Sixed It” now! If you don’t know what that means, I’ll enlighten you.

It’s an American English slang for canceling something, killing someone, getting rid of something (by burying it), ejecting someone, or refusing service.

Even if you’re not into oracle or tarot decks, mine actually give you guidance and answers without you even having to try. I had someone tell me they asked questions about placing bets and had over an 85% success rate using them. You just never know how people will use them, but it is ironic how food terms and kitchen staff relate to every day life!

They are also pretty unique in that they give you an education into the culinary arts and are quite honestly, just nice to look at. If you’re a chef or a foodie, you will like them too!

You can see them here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheChefsTableDecks?ref=seller-platform-mcnav

I had so much fun taking my somewhat painful past and making art out of it. Perhaps you have done something similar during this time. If not, there’s still room for creating. I don’t think this will ever be over!

I just found out today that I cannot accompany my middle guy to Miami when he goes, unless of course I want to quarantine for 14 days. And since I’m quite sure it won’t involve a beach, he is headed there on his own. Yes, he is still insisting on going!

It’s a whole new world guys! What are you doing to keep inspired? Hopefully it’s something fun!