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Timing

Sometimes in life, more often than not, we run across a little thing called timing.

This can pertain to relationships, jobs or anything in-between. I have had many jobs put in front of me, dangling like the proverbial carrot, only to have them taken away as quickly as they came in. I say taken, cause that’s what it feels like when you want something so bad and don’t get it.

But the truth is, nothing is taken from us. I think what really happens, is that we don’t allow it in. We think we are, by simply willing it, thinking about it or just wanting it to death, but then when it shows up we don’t quite know that to do with it.

Our fears get the best of us and we talk ourselves out of so many wonderful things in life. We might even pray for things, but when they are gifted to us we scoff at it and ignore it, thinking we know what is best, when maybe the powers that be know better. Maybe what we think is better for us, is actually the worst and that’s why it doesn’t show up.

We can cry over spilled milk to the end of our days, talk about the should haves and the could haves all we want, and of course, bring in the ole timing aspect. But the real truth as to why we do not live lives that are full, rich and completely free of drama, is that we are afraid of losing something called control.

We think if we have control over how something is supposed to happen, when it is supposed to happen and even how, then everything will be okay.

But what if life is showing us something different? What if this pandemic has been trying to show us that there is no such thing as perfect timing or wrong timing? What if it’s trying to show us that time is an illusion. That the only thing we ever really have control over, is how we feel in this moment.

Life would be a whole lot simpler and so much less chaotic, if we all realized this. If we understood just how fleeting time really is. We do not have control over time. The only thing we do have control over, us how we manage our time and who we spend it with.

Your watch and my watch may say different times, depending on whose battery is better or where you live. But when it comes down to it, it isn’t about timing and where you are at or where I am. It just comes down to people agreeing to live in the moment, enjoy where they are, who they are with and know that nothing else matters. Nothing!

Timing is not a bitch, unless you make her one. Allow your heart to lead you instead of your head. How different would your life be, if you did this one simple thing?

Going Home

What does home conjure up for you? Is it warm and welcoming or the exact opposite?

Home for me is being with people I love. It doesn’t necessarily mean home, as in where I grew up. That was nice too, but it all changed when I was a teenager and it was never home for me again.

But I have found my home many times throughout the years with people who supported me.

It’s no joke when they say “Home is where the heart is,” So I wonder…where is yours?

Is it with work? Family? Friends? Are you nurturing your heart or starving it to death?

Love. Love is where the heart is. What do you love? What are you so passionate about that you cannot even imagine living another day without it?

This is your home.

You don’t have to put a mask on or armor yourself with guns to go about getting it, you just need to follow your heart to what feels like home and speak your truth.

Water Under the Bridge

I find it interesting how some people don’t understand this term. It literally means things are over, in the past, and there is absolute no need to revisit it.

But why oh why can’t some folks get this? I’ll tell you why. Because they haven’t healed their wounds. They have identified with their past so much and all of the programs that were running there, they don’t know how to break free, so they just keep repeating the same old shit. They may even hate elements of their past and the way the people in it made them feel, yet they still refuse to leave it…in the past.

Often times the past wasn’t just some water under a bridge, it was full of turbulence. Tidal waves and maybe even tsunamis took over the bridge and broke it into little bits. Not exactly waters you want to be near, yet everyday there are people who refuse to move on from the catastrophe known as the past.

They hold onto past feelings, past hurts, past ideas, past influences, past programs, past patterns, past garbage and think that they are living an authentic and happy life. That’s not even logical. It’s coo coo ville thinking. “Let me bring all of the bad stuff into my life that never served me, cause I don’t know how to put it behind me once and for all and get off the damn bridge.”

It’s a dysfunction of the worst kind. The sad part is knowing someone like this and watching them do it to themselves over and over again. The ludicrous part, is that they don’t even realize there is no one standing on the bridge with them anymore. They are alone, paralyzed with fear and lost in an inability to make a decision. While others in their life heal, move on, and don’t care to revisit people and situations that were full of emptiness.

Life is full. It’s brilliant and lovely and should be enjoyed every single day, not lived in torment about what to do and what to say and if you are pissing someone off because you speak your truth. In fact, that’s not living at all. It’s a form of self imprisonment and it is completely and utterly disempowering.

So if the life you want is one of freedom, abundance and love, then you have to be brave enough to get off the bridge. You walk across it and leave all of that toxic shit behind you once and for all. Unless of course you like to suffer.

Because if you keep revisiting the past and all of it’s dysfunction, guess what you bring into your future? More of the same!

Because from where I’m standing, I don’t even see a bridge and it’s such an amazing view.

Change

One of the hardest lessons we learn in life, is that you cannot change people. We might try and then lose ourselves in the process.

We may give second and third chances even; hoping and praying that they will finally understand, finally get what we are giving. And yet they still don’t, no matter how pure our love is.

And so we are left heartbroken.

What do we do with that pain? We go within. We ask the questions, and not the typical ones you think of. We are awake and conscious, so we ask different ones. Ones that help us move on and empower us, so that we never do this again, never invest in someone who is not as invested in us.

We ask: Why are we bothered by someone who doesn’t feel the same way we do? Why are we taking it so personally? Why are we trying to change someone to see things our way, when there are people out there who already do? Why are we giving our precious energy away? Why are we accepting less than what we know we are worth?

The answer to all of those questions, sadly, is that we are seeking outside of ourselves for validation, rather than within. Our value as a person never comes from someone else, yet so many of us seek it from other people, instead of finding it within ourselves.

So we always end up in the same place with the same types of people when we operate from this disempowering level. Wanting.

Whatever we believe to be true about ourselves is exactly what we attract into our lives. In every single area of it.

You can try and change the person you are with all you want, but the one thing, the only thing that you can change, is yourself.

If you find yourself in a relationship that is challenging, just know that you cannot change them. But you can empower yourself to change how you respond to them.

You were a vibrational match to this person before you started to awaken and work on yourself. When you get to work on your stuff and your person doesn’t, there will be a huge disconnect.

This stuff is hard. It hurts. Your heart breaks and you mourn the loss of something you thought you had. But what you are really mourning, if we are being honest, is the loss of your time invested in something or someone who wasn’t as invested as you were.

You can talk to them and try to tell them what is going on, and maybe the changes you have made on yourself will inspire them to want to change as well. But if not, please know that your value, your shine comes from you, not them and once you understand this, you’ll never settle again.

Keep shining! Don’t stop for someone else. And don’t try and get them to see how bright their shine can be either. That’s on them, not you. Change is an inside job and some people don’t want to do it.

What are You Wishing for?

When we wish for something it implies that we do not yet have it.

But why is that?

Do we think that what we want is out of our grasp? That it might take a miracle to receive it? Or de we feel that we have no control over getting it? We might think it depends on someone else for us to get it.

All of those perceptions are ways we disempower ourselves. When we give power to something or someone outside of ourselves we literally give up on what we want.

The only person who can ever go about getting those things you are wishing on a star for, is you. And I realized this after a long and arduous battle with myself and my limiting beliefs.

Last year I was having a great year with acting. I called it a great year; others wouldn’t agree because some people see wins through a small lens while I seem them differently.

A win in my world is an audition. A big win is a callback. A stellar win is being held or pinned for the job. The booking? That’s just the cherry on top! The wins start the minute you are recognized for your talent.

Don’t get me wrong, you also feel the losses when you get so close.

Imagine the roller coaster known as being an actor. You’re as high as you can possibly get, when you are told that you are pinned for a new show in a co-starring role. Then all of a sudden without warning, you’re thrown over the side and land on your face and wind up picking cotton candy and old popcorn out of your hair, wondering what the hell went wrong.

You ask yourself a hundred questions and none of them do anything but make you feel worse about yourself. Because in the end you have absolutely no power over if you get the job or you don’t. It’s nothing more than someone else deciding if you fit their vision for the part you are going for. That’s it!

That was just one of the many scenarios that brought up all of my “not being good enough” triggers. I was wishing on a star every damn day, but had absolutely no power over pulling that star in and making it my own.

To top it off, I had a manager who had her own issues of wanting to be seen and recognized. One time I was one of 50 actors picked out of 16,000 people who auditioned, to have an interview with a famous casting director. Before she gave me this amazing news, she marred it by writing three paragraphs about how I wasn’t emailing her enough or keeping her in the loop with everything I did.

All of it was so defeating and just made me feel bad about myself instead of good. But when you rely on others to look out for you who are running their own programs of not being good enough or needing control, you aren’t going to reach a star, let alone become one.

After two more incidents with her and bookings that wound up being more work on my end, then what I was being paid, I said goodbye. It was then that I realized it wasn’t about the money at all, it was about how much effort was being asked of me and how little was being given back.

Our empowerment and our ability to reach for the stars and grab them, comes from this knowing. Do not accept less than what you are giving and if you aren’t giving enough, then don’t expect others to keep playing by your rules.

Now, go ahead and reach for those stars!

Dancing with Strangers

Sometimes we would rather be with complete strangers than with people we know.

As we grow we often outgrow others and we find that we can no longer tolerate being around them.

It actually becomes easier to be out in a crowd of strangers doing something we like, than to sit in the presence of someone we know who doesn’t get us.

The reason for this is because as you get to working on yourself, you quickly see people who refuse to change. Actually, they don’t even have a desire to. They think they are fine the way they are, the way things are and the way you used to be.

But the problem with this is, you’re not okay. You are starting to see things differently and hearing them too. You may notice the way people address you and it’s as though you are hearing them for the very first time.

It can be quite alarming. You wonder if they talked this way to you all along. You become more aware of the world around you, too. You see everything, hear everything and sometimes you wished you didn’t.

This is called being awake. Most of the world is asleep, but if you found my blog, welcome to the tribe. They talk about the 1% all the time being wealthy, but they never address the 1% who are conscious.

Most of the world is unconscious. They honk at you in the car because they are in a hurry to go nowhere, cut you off when you talk or ignore you all together because they feel they are more important. They do not understand that we are all in this together and that no one is better than anyone else.

Our mission here is to find our passion; something that inspires us and then go about helping others with it. We are all in need of this at this time. No matter how little you think your idea is, it will matter to someone.

I like to write to music because it inspires me and the words speak to me all the time. There are so many beautiful messages in music but most people don’t even listen. They just like the beat or they don’t.

You’re no stranger here. I get you! And there are a whole lot of us out there who do. Find your people and if you can’t right now, then this is the one time where it’s okay to talk to strangers.

I bet you never thought anyone would tell you that!

Energy

I love the message in this song. Please listen to it.

It is true that wherever our focus goes, our energy flows, but let’s break that down so that we really understand what that means.

You might be thinking about money all of the time. How do I make more? How do I keep it? But then your thoughts probably turn rather quickly to the negative ones.

How come I don’t have enough? How come I barely make enough? Why do things cost so much? How come everyone else seems to have more?

The same thing can be said about love. I will meet someone soon; it’s inevitable. I have a lot to offer and the right person will come into my life when it’s the right time. Why haven’t I met this person yet? How come he has someone? Why am I alone?

We are bombarded by our thoughts about 2100 times an hour. They can go from really happy ones to angry ones pretty quickly, especially when we are thinking about things we want that we don’t have yet.

But it’s not really our thoughts that are the problem here. The song is partially right. It is our beliefs. What we hold inside of us that makes our reality our reality.

Make a list with positive written on one side and negative written on the other. For one week see how many times the topic of money or love or whatever it is you are wanting comes up. Write down how you feel when it is being talked about, what you are doing and who you are with. It will be pretty clear where, who and what you need to be doing more of, to get what you want.

You might even discover you are doing healthy things when you feel positive and may be drinking when feeling negative. When you’re sad you might call certain people and when you are happy and want to share news, you call someone else. It’s fine to have negative people in your life if you can’t avoid it, just set some boundaries with them so they don’t bring your energy to their level.

We cannot change things overnight, but this is a good start. Even if you did, you wouldn’t change the underlying problems, which are your beliefs, which is why so many people will win the lottery or inherit a bunch of money and go broke shortly afterwards. This is also why people are in bad relationships, leave them only to discover they are in another bad relationship, maybe even worse.

Your beliefs are your inner driver and the reason you do everything you do. This is your subconscious (meaning you are not consciously aware of these beliefs) mind playing out the programs you were raised to believe.

There are several free videos on line that can help you do this. Make sure you see the ones by Robert Smith, as he is a master at Faster Eft. I tend to learn from people who have done the work themselves. It’s more authentic when you see the change in someone else.

Anything you are unhappy with in your life can be changed if you change your beliefs. This is where your thoughts change for the better and then your energy does too. You start to become a vibrational match for what you really want and can be very intentional about getting it.

Make It Rain

How do we make it rain?

We find our confidence, our inner fire, our drive, our passion and we don’t let anyone get in our way. We learn to discern between those who have our backs, and those who have a knife in it. (Metaphorically speaking of course).

Life is supposed to be easy, but so many of us make it harder than it has to be. We fight ourselves, yet say we are fighting others because it’s easier to play the blame game than take accountability.

In actuality there is nothing to fight at all, except when we are denied our truth when we try to speak it, but are ignored. That is something to go to battle for.

We always know what is best for ourselves, yet we question it over and over again, and deny our instincts, our inner voice and our bodies and how it tries to alert us to an untruth, over the voices of others.

We do this because we don’t believe in ourselves. We have been broken down and conditioned to think that our truth and our words don’t matter, but those of the people who try and keep us down and disempowered do.

It’s time we as a collective take accountability to where we are in life, who we have let disempower us and say once and for all, “I know my truth and your tactics no longer work.”

Find the confidence, love yourself, and watch it rain all over you!

Need You To Be You 100%

I’m sure you have heard the term “reinvent yourself”

But what if we don’t really reinvent ourselves at all? What if we just become who we were meant to be?

We all grow up in different environments with people who are running programs from the way they were raised. If you’re lucky, you had a parent like I did who wanted to do better.

My mother was never given a voice as a child and so she decided to raise my brother and sister and I with one. She listened to everything we said. And still does! My father just did what she said because he loved her and worked all the time.

This worked for awhile and when I tell you I had no problems as a kid, I mean it. The problems started when my parents divorced and married other people who brought their own programs into the dynamic.

My Eutaptics coach, Ilka is baffled by this. Most people have trauma early on, but not me. My troubles didn’t start until I lived with people who had deep wounds. I didn’t know they did, I was just a kid trying to navigate her way through a divorce from two people who seemed to love one another and found herself having to deal with two adults who were threatened by me and my very existence.

Sometimes I can’t believe I lived through it. I suffered emotional and mental abuse and consequently feelings of deep abandonment because neither parent put me first. I was put to the backseat while their new partners were given the front.

Every day of my high school years I was in survival mode. I drank and smoked pot while driving, gained 20 pounds to get attention because I learned that when I shined others felt their shine was diminished. I stopped being me, but found that I could still get my father’s attention by being fat. He made jokes all the time to his skinny new wife and her kid at my expense.

Consequently, I looked for love from anyone who would give it to me in my twenties and thirties. I made horrible choices in relationships and always attracted the same type of guy. You know the one! Seems to have it all together but doesn’t even know how to love themselves, so they can’t possibly love you.

It was’t until I was well into adulthood that I started to see what all of the damage had done to me. All of the garbage that I had been fed for three years by people who didn’t know how to love themselves, let alone a teenage girl who was nothing more than a nuisance and a threat to their new beginnings with someone else.

Sadly, their limiting beliefs had become my own. I realize this now due to the inner work I’ve done, which is why I have no hatred or hard feelings towards anyone. it just is what it is and that’s okay.

Which makes me wonder, who are we without other people’s shit? I think we are who we were meant to be.

My message for you today is this: You need to be 100%! All the time and every minute of the damn day! If you are anything less, than you are settling for all of the garbage that was fed to you, too.

Reinvent or rebirth? I say neither. Just do you! You’ve done what everyone else has wanted thus far. How’s that working for you?

Give yourself and the world 100% and see where that takes you!

Promises


Are you keeping promises? The ones you made to yourself?

The one where you said, I won’t give my heart to anyone who doesn’t give their heart in return?

The one that says, I won’t commit to anything unless it resonates 100 % with who I am?

How about the promise to your younger self that said I won’t do what my parents did, because it didn’t do a whole a hell of a lot for me?

And what of the promise that said, I will do better this time, because I care about the people in my life too much, than to do less than what they deserve?

Are you keeping your promises?

Because if you aren’t, then you are simply repeating a pattern and a program that was given to you by your parents and you haven’t really learned a thing.

Do better! Be better! Keep your promise to those you say you care about, or be the person who is brave enough to acknowledge that you can’t, and walk away.