Mirror Mirror

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Man In The Mirror

I’m a sucker for Disney movies! I watched Snow White this week and as the evil step mother looks into the mirror and asks, “Who is the fairest of them all?” I had a revelation.

I used to hear the word “mirroring” all the time when I was forced on this spiritual journey. You know what I mean by that because, well, you don’t really have a choice. Once you start seeing things differently there’s no not seeing them, so you have to just keep going.

I digress.

I would hear spiritual teachers say, “You don’t like that person because they are mirroring something back to you.” What did that even mean? The more I thought about it, the more confused I got.

I mean, there were some women in my life with a resting bitch face that could be sold on Halloween. And the men? Equally as ugly. They disregarded me, treated me as though I were beneath them or tried to control me, just to make their disempowered selves feel  more powerful. Was I them? As hard as I tried to see it, I just didn’t, because I knew I was nice, so I couldn’t grasp how I attracted so many meanies into my life.

Well, it took me a very long time to get this one, so I am going to share it with you just in case you are wondering what the people (we’ll call them mirrors) you are looking into are really reflecting back to you. (You should get excited now..this is a game changer!)

They are mirroring YOUR unhealed wounds. Things that happened to you in your childhood. You see, at some point in your childhood, someone either made you feel less than, disregarded, abandoned, unsafe, bullied, controlled, disempowered, unloved, and plain old not good enough. All of the big ones!

And because no one cared what your feelings were, you were just a child after all and what kind of a voice were you allowed to have…you learned to stuff it all inside. And now, years later, you’re wondering why you keep attracting the same boss, the same men, the same women. Blah blah ad nauseam.

This little kid, now a grown ass adult, has been trying to get your attention for a long time. But you keep shoving it down, ignoring its pleas and outright dismissing any wrong doing to it, much like the adults in your life did to you. But now the little kid has had it, so all of that pain is surfacing, begging to be healed once for all, by way of the asshole standing in front of you, making you feel horrible.

This is mirroring. You are not, nor have you ever been this horrible person who is making you feel bad. This person who puts you down, embarrasses you, makes nasty comments, tries to control you, takes advantage of you, lies to you or maybe even dismisses you altogether, is someone from your childhood.

Your response in your body is a telltale sign that you are being triggered by them and is an opportunity for you to finally listen to that little kid who was shut down. The way you feel when you are around this person, their tone of voice or something they say, the way they look at you or even roll their eyes when you talk, are all clues that this mirroring is happening to you.

Your unhealed traumas from childhood show up in random people as a gift. I know that sounds ridiculous, but once you see these people for who they are, you will no longer be controlled by them. You can look at each of them as a door that is opening, until finally that little kid is set free.

Who were when you came into this world, before the adults in your life gave THEIR shit to you? I’ll tell you…amazing, limitless, lovable, strong, talented, brilliant, beautiful and innocent.  Take that back! You have the key, but as long as you keep holding onto the stories that were given to you, instead of making your own, you will attract the same people who disempower you, until you do.

The step mother in Snow White saw this purity in her step daughter and she was jealous of it. People who put you down, treat you poorly and judge you are really jealous of you because they see all of these qualities in you but do not know how to give it to themselves, so they take yours instead.

We all possess beauty, inner beauty. There is no need to disparage someone else to have it. If someone is doing this to you, then it is because you have unhealed childhood wounds that are needing attention.

There is no need to look at people who don’t love you unconditionally anymore. We’re done with that! Lesson learned! And if you haven’t yet gotten it, then ask yourself what it is they are showing you that needs to be healed. Do you love yourself enough to finally get this?

See all of those people as alerts: “Danger Will Robinson!” your inner child is saying, begging you to look at it, hear it, help it.  We only ever attract people into our lives who mirror how we feel about ourselves on the inside. Does that make sense? I hope so!

Stop looking for mirrors, unless you’re doing your makeup or hair. Look within! That is where all of your answers are and your freedom too.

Becoming You

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This is me! The real Gretchen! The one who always smiles, believes that anything is possible, loves unconditionally and shines so bright, others cannot help but be drawn to her light because it is genuine and contagious. I lost this part of me for a long time, but she is finally back.

I have been on a quest for a long time, but oddly enough, I was not aware of the destination. I know that sounds peculiar, but it’s the best way I can explain what has happened to me.

People call it an “awakening” when you start seeing things in your life a certain way and feel as though you have no tolerance for it any longer. It’s literally like you wake up one day and the pieces that fit so perfectly together now have to be forced into place.

Well, when you force anything it’s never a good idea, so the best thing to do is to take a step back and assess your life and the players that are in it. I’m not sitting here telling you I have never forced anything, I’m telling you I have, and it has not worked out.

When you react to situations instead of responding to them, the results usually lead to struggle. When you respond, it’s as though life works itself out for you seamlessly. We just have to learn to read the signs, which are ever-present always.

The answers are always right in front of you. It’s our mind that complicates them. The only reason we question the guidance that is being given so freely to us, is because we have been conditioned to act certain ways for so long, we really aren’t being who we authentically are.

This is why I think the whole awakening thing is really about becoming you. The real you! To discern between the voices that are those of others (parents, etc.) and the voice that is ours and become the person we are born to be. Cue Lady Gaga!

 

An Ode To 2019

 

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Can we talk for a minute? I don’t know about you, but I just wanna get off this ride called 2019 and start anew. I mean, is it over yet ? I wanted to call Tyrone  a few times, cause I had enough of its shit.

I worked tirelessly and was even talking in my sleep  about how I got everything I wanted, but no matter what I did, it just wasn’t happening. I mean, all I wanted was the good life , so I went chasing the sun and even chasing pavements, all for the love of money.

While my career suffered because this heart just wasn’t in it and I knew I should only act from a place that feels good.  , I kept ignoring the signs, insisting that this is the way it is  and was still not seeing the treasure within the struggle. I kept boarding the train in vain  that lead to more disappointments, burnout and a destination called nowhere.

Do you believe in magic? I heard my inner voice say, because if you do, you can do magic  and have the adventure of a lifetime, if you just let go of the control of how you think things are supposed to be and just let it flow.  I mean, where do broken hearts go ? I’ll tell you where…they go within! So that’s what I did.

Here’s the lowdown on a spiritual journey: the universe invites you to come as you are .  It doesn’t care if  you’re so vain, an evil woman , a womanizer  , have been caught stealing, or just a plain old bad guy . It invites you to sit in the silence and let all the lies and false beliefs you have bought into fall away, as you face your shadow side once and for all. It dares you to stop running in circles and not be afraid to be who you are.

But so many of us just can’t do that. We are stuck in our egos and linger with others who are too. Everybody talks  about people who are different, too funky, and we don’t want to be that. But at some point you’ve got to be real with yourself and understand that you can’t be afraid to rock the boat on the path of self-discovery.

How bizarre  the journey gets depends on you. It might seem like witchcraft, voo doo  or a creepy omen when the signs start pouring in; the numbers, the names, the dreams. Sure, there will be moments where you think, I’ve  got to give it up  because it gets to be too much but the universe will keep sending you more, more, more until you listen. You can run all you want, but the universe will win. It says, I’m gonna get you!!!

It begs you to get rid of those poison thoughts that tell you that you are not worthy. It demands that you to look at your dirty laundry  once and for all. It says: This is what you came for! To be the best version of you. And once you understand this, it becomes a constant craving to come home  to who you truly are.

It’s a love thing. The Universe loves you too much to see you fail.  Remember… Love is stronger than pride. Take the 212walk like an egyptian , or slide into the new year with a new you- the real one. I don’t care how you do it, just get hereCome on get higher naturally! Open your heart and make 2020 absolutely unforgettable.

After I have compiled this musical message for you, are you still gonna ask yourself,  should I stay or should I go ? Do you think all this change is gonna make you sweat ?  Have you gotten too good at goodbyes because you’re out of touch , not listening to your body and you think your heart is as black as night? 

Say it isn’t so! Do you want to stay stuck in your patterns for a thousand years ? Or  kiss that crap goodbye once and for all? Say hello to livin the vida loca! We are all beautiful people ! Even those of us who are diamonds in the rough. We all deserve the kiss of life . And if you have been on this journey as long as I have, you’ve earned it.

The Universe says, I got you ! Let me show you the world in my eyes  .  I believe  in a different way. It’s certainly not conventional, but if  you love my way, and let it go, you can have the greatest love of all .

So with nothing in my way, not even a seven nation army  can keep me from being happyThis girl  with a fresh attitude is going to be a  firework  in the new year. I’m free because I finally understand that the only real power we will ever need, comes from within.

I can’t wait for this town I live in to be done with sweater weather , cause  baby it’s cold outside , I mean really cold.

In the meantime, stay warm, stay positive and embrace the beauty of falling in love  with yourself. Love  is all that matters. Really!

Hope you and yours have a Merry little Christmas.

xo Gretchen

 

 

 

Audience

the assembled spectators or listeners at a public event, such as a play, movie, concert, or meeting.

While I do my best to live as a dot, which simply means I make no plans and observe a whole hell of a lot, I also have a commitment to three children to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be.

I am often their audience; but acutely aware to when it is required of me to listen and when it is of the utmost importance to act.

To the rest of the world I am never the audience. I do not sit by and watch people act inappropriately, be mean, judgmental or beg for money. I take action when called to do so.

But at one time I was the audience to many heartless people. Their actions were cruel. So many times things were said, gestures were made and judgements were cast on my family and I did nothing about it.

I didn’t know I was playing out a program from when I was a teenager, I only knew it hurt like hell and that my children deserved better. And for that one reason alone, I knew it had to end.

If you cannot find the words, the grit or the heart to speak up for yourself, then you have to find it for your children. As a parent, it is our job to do better.

I didn’t have the tools when this happened to us, but I do now. And by virtue of me getting the tools, my boys now have them too.

It takes a lot of work to do the work, and by that I mean looking at yourself, dissecting the parts you don’t like, going within for answers and really uncovering some ugly shit.

Mostly, the way you have been allowing others to mistreat you, because you don’t love yourself enough to believe you deserve better.

Once I became aware that a program was running, it became my mission to stop it. In doing this, I do not allow my children to run programs that do not serve them either. I am here, just as you are, to be an active participant in the production of my life, not an audience member.

Sitting by and putting your head in the sand is being the audience. It’s saying, “I don’t value myself enough to have an opinion.” This is a program that was given to you by a parent. Their parent gave it to them and so on and so on.

I’ll say it again. Your opinion matters! And it should matter to them, too. If it doesn’t, then you might want to ask yourself a question.

Who is in the freaking drivers seat of your life? You, your mother or your father?

You can tell yourself they did’t really mean it, it’s just the way it is, they don’t know better or not fight the establishment, but that’s being passive and passivity gets you more of the same.

Nobody likes these conversations, but that’s all they are; a talk between two or more people about an issue. If you see it as a confrontation then that should be a real red flag for you. Better to lose people who are not honoring you then to continue to be an audience to them, no matter who they are.

Stop being the audience and start being the creator of your reality. These programs you are running are archaic bullshit and need to be squashed once and for all.

Set yourself free! Write a new program! How about “I create my own reality, because I love and honor myself… plus I’m freaking awesome!”

Dream

a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep.

a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.

If you have a good dream, I guess the two meanings are one in the same.

Sometimes I have lucid dreams. These are the best! Not only am I seeing images and having sensations, I am also realizing cherished aspirations and ideals. I actually have conversations with people and then remember them the next day. I wish I could have them all the time, but I don’t. 

When we dream, either while sleeping or awake, we allow ourselves to be free. We give ourselves permission to think about possibilities. A smile can’t help but break through, just at the mere notion of having what we want, what we desire, maybe even what we dreamt about the night prior.

I am a big believer in dreaming. Mostly in the awake stage of life. I do not think anything is out of reach. We merely have to be a vibrational match for it to come to fruition. Once we understand this, life becomes effortless. It’s when we resist change or try and control outcomes that life gets funky.

One of my favorite spiritual gurus likes to say, “Be a dot.” I like it. Simply put it means to live in the moment. To observe. To wake every day without an agenda. To allow ourselves to be shown what to do next, instead of taking so much futile action that just keeps us on the merry go round to nowhere.

I have always hated making plans. It doesn’t help when you are trying to have friends, but real friends understand this is part of what makes you, you, which is probably why I don’t have too many. But I am okay with that. I don’t want inauthentic relationships anymore.

I feel constricted when I have to commit to something because quite frankly, I don’t know what I will be up to two weeks from now. I might be traveling for work, visiting someone, on set of a commercial, taking a class, doing yoga, doing nothing. I only know what I’m doing now, which is writing this post.

I wake every day and allow life to take me where I need to go. This way of being sets me free of entanglements and situations that I really don’t want to be in. It allows for me to dare to dream about what I want and surprisingly, I have become more creative.

It’s as though loving this way has set me free. My mind is empty of where I have to be or being burdened with something I have to do, I simply am. The ideas flow like Niagara Falls and I only take action when I am inspired to, not from a place of having to.

We do not have to be anywhere, or do anything. It is a choice we make. I am simply choosing to be present in every single second of the day without attachment to anything. This is not to say that I’m some airy fairy that doesn’t have responsibility, but I see my commitments to those who rely on me as I gift, not a chore.

Here’s to dreaming! At night and during the day.

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper “I love you”
Birds singing in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me
Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me
While I’m alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me
Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I’m longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me
Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I’m longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this
Sweet dreams, till sunbeams find you
Gotta keep dreaming leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
You gotta make me a promise, promise to me
You’ll dream, dream a little of me

 

 

Make the Pain Matter

Pain is a distressing feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli.

It’s one thing to be in pain from an injury, but it’s a whole other ballgame when the pain is emotional. What do we do with THAT pain? How do we heal that kind of pain, when we can’t even see it?

It’s not something that is staring us right in the face and often times people are pretty good at masking all of that stuff, but if you are awake, conscious, highly attuned to yourself and others, then it is something you pick up on pretty quickly.

In others, we can often feel their pain (if you’re an empath) and in others you can often see it on their faces. Sometimes we look away because it is too much to bear. Seeing that pain can be visceral because it is a pain within ourselves that we have yet to heal, so we don’t want to be anywhere near it.

But it still finds us! Maybe we have a problem with a boss, a coworker, a lover or a spouse. They trigger us beyond belief so we avoid them, snap at them, give them vanilla. But is that really solving anything?

What you need to know, is it’s not even them that is bothering you, it’s someone from your past. They are simply in your world to show you something that you need to heal.  You will attract people and situations into your life until you resolve this pain.

How do we transmute it? How do we take that pain and enhance our lives, instead of continuing to hinder it?

You have to ask the questions. Why is this person triggering me? What is it bringing up in me? Where do I feel it? Who said this to me in the past? Discomfort in the body simply means there is an unresolved emotional issue.

Do you like being ignored, shit on, controlled, disempowered, cheated, bossed, diminished, deceived, judged, ridiculed, imprisoned or even manipulated? I’m gonna guess that’s a hard no.

Unfortunately, most of us have been raised with a few of these beliefs around love. People like to throw that word around. I love you, so I’m going to control you. I love you, so I’m going to diminish you. I love you, so I’m going to ignore you. Sound like love? Feel like love? Look like love?

I subscribed to this channel for awhile but when all was said and done, I finally realized the answers weren’t going to come from outside of myself, so I went within. I have a greater understanding now and know that the remedy for all pain, is to love myself enough to face it.

When I feel the pain, it goes right to my stomach. I can’t eat, can barely catch my breath and feel nervous all over. It’s fear, disempowerment and imprisonment and I don’t like it.

I can honestly tell you that the minute I am triggered, I think about my childhood and allow myself to feel the pain associated with the trigger. Because of the EFT I do, I know that the feelings are attached to a program I am running that was given to me by someone else. Limiting beliefs that have shackled me to a world of lack, just by hearing them spoken to me.

Why would I or you come into this world, which is such a miraculous thing to do, with limiting beliefs? We wouldn’t! So why are we doing it now? I no longer want these beliefs, so I tap.

We have all had people in our lives who made us feel like shit. It had nothing to do with you. They felt like shit because they were given these programs by someone else who felt like shit. And so the vicious cycle continues. Until you have the courage and love enough for yourself, to break it!

Our jobs as I see it, is to take that pain and make it fucking matter. To do better. To stop bringing that garbage out into the world and putting it onto others. Did we appreciate it being put on us? Do we really want to perpetuate such nonsense?

I don’t. And if you are perpetuating these beliefs that were given to you that are causing you tremendous crippling pain, then you aren’t living the life of your dreams. Don’t allow yourself to be disempowered by limiting beliefs any longer.

Use the pain to spurn you on. To be your best self, not the person who continues to live under the constraints of someone else’s beliefs.

Be Lady Gaga, who said:  “I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed …. I said to him someday you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee without hearing about me.”

Don’t stay frozen in the past. You have the key to the door that sets you free. Love yourself enough to walk through it. Feel the pain and then transcend it into something awesome!

 

 

 

Make the Pain Matter

Pain is a distressing feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli.

It’s one thing to be in pain from an injury, but it’s a whole other ballgame when the pain is emotional. What do we do with THAT pain? How do we heal that kind of pain, when we can’t even see it?

It’s not something that is staring us right in the face and often times people are pretty good at masking all of that stuff, but if you are awake, conscious, highly attuned to yourself and others, then it is something you pick up on pretty quickly.

In others, we can often feel their pain (if you’re an empath) and in others you can often see it on their faces. Sometimes we look away because it is too much to bear. Seeing that pain can be visceral because it is a pain within ourselves that we have yet to heal, so we don’t want to be anywhere near it.

But it still finds us! Maybe we have a problem with a boss, a coworker, a lover or a spouse. They trigger us beyond belief so we avoid them, snap at them, give them vanilla. But is that really solving anything?

What you need to know, is it’s not even them that is bothering you, it’s someone from your past. They are simply in your world to show you something that you need to heal.  You will attract people and situations into your life until you resolve this pain.

How do we transmute it? How do we take that pain and enhance our lives, instead of continuing to hinder it?

You have to ask the questions. Why is this person triggering me? What is it bringing up in me? Where do I feel it? Who said this to me in the past? Discomfort in the body simply means there is an unresolved emotional issue.

Do you like being ignored, shit on, controlled, disempowered, cheated, bossed, diminished, deceived, judged, ridiculed, imprisoned or even manipulated? I’m gonna guess that’s a hard no.

Unfortunately, most of us have been raised with a few of these beliefs around love. People like to throw that word around. I love you, so I’m going to control you. I love you, so I’m going to diminish you. I love you, so I’m going to ignore you. Sound like love? Feel like love? Look like love?

I subscribed to this channel for awhile but when all was said and done, I finally realized the answers weren’t going to come from outside of myself, so I went within. I have a greater understanding now and know that the remedy for all pain, is to love myself enough to face it.

When I feel the pain, it goes right to my stomach. I can’t eat, can barely catch my breath and feel nervous all over. It’s fear, disempowerment and imprisonment and I don’t like it.

I can honestly tell you that the minute I am triggered, I think about my childhood and allow myself to feel the pain associated with the trigger. Because of the EFT I do, I know that the feelings are attached to a program I am running that was given to me by someone else. Limiting beliefs that have shackled me to a world of lack, just by hearing them spoken to me.

Why would I or you come into this world, which is such a miraculous thing to do, with limiting beliefs? We wouldn’t! So why are we doing it now? I no longer want these beliefs, so I tap.

We have all had people in our lives who made us feel like shit. It had nothing to do with you. They felt like shit because they were given these programs by someone else who felt like shit. And so the vicious cycle continues. Until you have the courage and love enough for yourself, to break it!

Our jobs as I see it, is to take that pain and make it fucking matter. To do better. To stop bringing that garbage out into the world and putting it onto others. Did we appreciate it being put on us? Do we really want to perpetuate such nonsense?

I don’t. And if you are perpetuating these beliefs that were given to you that are causing you tremendous crippling pain, then you aren’t living the life of your dreams. Don’t allow yourself to be disempowered by limiting beliefs any longer.

Use the pain to spurn you on. To be your best self, not the person who continues to live under the constraints of someone else’s beliefs.

Be Lady Gaga, who said:  “I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed …. I said to him someday you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee without hearing about me.”

Don’t stay frozen in the past. You have the key to the door that sets you free. Love yourself enough to walk through it. Feel the pain and then transcend it into something awesome!