The spins is an adverse reaction of intoxication that causes a state of vertigo and nausea, causing one to feel as if “spinning out of control”, especially when lying down. It is most commonly associated with drunkenness or mixing alcohol with other psychoactive drugs such as cannabis.
But what of the type of spins that have nothing to do with alcohol at all? We have all felt like we are spinning out of control at some point in our lives. Why do you suppose we feel this way? Completely out of control, like our lives wait in the wings for someone else to tell us what to do or how to move forward.
I’ll tell you why. When you involve people who only have their best interest in mind and not yours, you will most definitely feel out of control. This is because you essentially gave your power over to them.
Sadly this happens more than we are aware of. If you are unconscious, meaning you still look for approval outside of yourself instead of looking within, then you most definitely feel as though you are spinning out of control in some area of your life.
We all have this incredible innate power within us, but few of us use it. We still continue to seek acceptance from those we think have more value then we do. We listen to their opinions because they make money, have a degree or whatever it is you are impressed by, instead of trusting our own judgement to make the proper decisions necessary in order for you to stay in a constant state of flow.
When you hand your power over, jump up and down, run through hoops and do anything you can to gain the attention and approval from others, you are coming from a place of complete and utter desperation. Desperate people attract desperate people and situations into their lives. People who look for approval attract people who will never give it to them. And people who blame others and take no accountability, well they are probably the worst, because they are self serving and you are just merely a pawn in their game to win at all costs.
At any given moment you have the power to stop spinning out of control. You do this by learning to love yourself so much, you never allow anyone to have control or power over you again. But you have to do the work. You have to be willing to really take a good look at yourself and ask the questions you have been avoiding. You have to stop blaming others for where you are at in life and take full accountability for the choices you have made because those choices brought you to this present moment.
You get to choose! You are incredibly powerful, so if you are still on the merry go round and don’t want to be there, get off. Life is easy. If it is hard for you, it’s because you are operating from a place of desperation.
Whatever vibration you are currently emitting, your life is reflecting back to you. If you like what you see, then keep vibing there. If you don’t, then do the work. It really is that simple.
Everyone in your life you are currently dealing with has been brought to you because of your vibration. You attracted them. It is not personal, it is simply vibrational.
Several years ago I knew a girl who used to say, “You better work” all the time. We decided to be roommates in Manhattan after we finished school in Dallas. I barely knew her, but she seemed very demure and let’s face it, not too many people are willing to move to the big city from Texas.
Shortly after I had sold everything I owned and moved in with her, I became privy to her lifestyle. She met trainers constantly, was always flying somewhere or going out until all hours of the morning at private clubs or parties and shopped on Madison Avenue constantly. I didn’t understand how she could afford to do all that, since I never saw her go to work.
Hanging out with her was rare, due to my schedule at work and her lack of one. Also the financial difference was a problem. I made assistants pay and she seemed to have an endless supply. She wasn’t one to offer to pay or help you out, as money was something she coveted as much as I did her shoes, but every now and then she would be generous and offer.
This would entail a night out. She always invited me because she said I had good sense and would tell her when it was time to leave. It was seldom that I went, but when I did, the evening would always be something out of a movie.
Velvet hot pants and Karl Lagerfeld pumps were the name of the game, so while she helped herself to my clothes, I helped myself to hers. You thought the hot pants were hers? The pumps were, but those hot pants were mine and she loved to wear them. And the men loved to see her in them! Oh my God! They would get neck lash from staring at her.
There was no place that she didn’t feel at home at. She would direct the cabbie to a hot spot with a line going around a building and proceed to walk to the front, flash a coquettish smile to the bouncer and we were in. I would say, “there’a line of people, we can’t just cut.”
Lines were for losers (her words not mine), only an idiot would pay for their own drink (also her words) and if some poor unsuspecting guy happened upon her who wasn’t wearing what she deemed suitable attire, she simply looked at him and said, “I’m so not impressed” and he would walk away shamed probably never approaching a woman again.
She had an energy about her that was off the charts confident and equally chaotic. If there was drama going on, she was the director. One night she called me from an after hours place and asked me to come and get her; that meant take a cab and escort her home. I obliged. I knew she had no one else to count on, despite the fact that she had many acquaintances, many admirers, many hanger-on-ers.
When I got there she had a broken nose. The people in the place wanted to go home but she was frenetic as one could only imagine, and was in shock. They only wanted to be rid of her. I calmed her down and wiped her face of the blood. She was distraught and scared to death of what the break might do to her looks. She told me that she had called some guy a loser who had been sitting with her and some girl because he expected them to pay for his drinks.
I once questioned her safety with the choices she made, especially the mouthing off to men, to which she replied, “I pity the f-er who ever crosses me!” I admired this about her. She called it knowing her worth. She said I didn’t know mine. That I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted or required. I didn’t agree at the time and was upset about it. She didn’t care. Her words were her currency and she had a lot of them, and it, because she never stopped speaking her truth.
I stayed for almost a year being an apprentice at a bougie salon to a complete prima donna and decided to return to Dallas with the knowledge I had gained. I worked there for many years and we lost touch. It wasn’t until I was returning to Manhattan to open a new salon that we reconnected for a brief moment.
She told me that she was returning to Arizona where she was originally from. She said she was going to become a teacher. I wondered how a person who worked it could ever possibly work, but as she sat there packing her bags and talking about how tired she had become of working it with people who didn’t know their worth, I could see that she was ready to go to work and wished her well.
My old friend may have known how to work it, but in the moments where we were together in our one room at the women’s home, she showed me a vulnerable side to her that no one else ever saw. She treated waiters with kindness and cabbies too and had a keen sense of when others did not. She watched people; observed them like they were some species under a microscope. More importantly, she knew who valued themselves and who did not.
She was right about me. Back then I didn’t know my worth. I settled over and over again for less than what I was worth. I accepted crumbs, disrespect and disregard time and time again. She knew her worth so well, that men who didn’t know theirs, would be willing to do just about anything for a moment with her. It’s how she was able to see this flaw in me; the one who would accept the unacceptable in hopes that it would lead to more.
We’ve all seen people who accept the unacceptable. I saw this recently when I was in Florida. There was a young woman, probably 24, sitting with an older gentleman, probably 50 by the pool. She kept taking selfies and ordering things from the waiter, and entertaining herself as though he was’t even there. She would hand him her drink as she snapped away and then swam to the other side of the pool and threw him a bone, as she spread her legs poolside, taking more photos. She wanted people to notice her and I gather he did too. The pool was quiet and elegant and she had no respect for anyone around her, not even the families with children. It was such a spectacle! I felt sorry for him.
At some point you gotta ask yourself: Is this enough for me? Am I willing to keep making choices that cost me my self esteem? Am I willing to keep spending time with people who only measure my worth by what I am doing for them or what I am giving them? Or do I love myself enough to want more? Do I love myself enough to know I deserve more? That maybe, just maybe, there is somebody out there that will tick all the boxes for me, but maybe in order to have that, I need to tick them myself.
If we are working it; meaning putting on a mask, pretending to be all that, bringing a player vibe, then we will get exactly what we are being; transactional. But if you are working on it; meaning yourself with all your issues, then you won’t require anything from anyone because you can give it all to yourself.
Waiting for someone to save you, to see your worth, validate you, make you feel special, or to fill a void, are sure signs that you’re working it. Because when you’re working on it, you don’t have to pretend anymore. You just get to be you.
So, are you working it or working on it? Because one is a whole lot more empowering than the other.
I have mentioned that my son plays football in previous posts. Friday I took him to a new trainer. Obviously playing football for fun and making it your entire focus are two different things.
This trainer was an hour from our house. It seems as though everything football oriented is over and hour from our house. The traffic can make it more and usually does.
In the past I would have complained about this. I’m not a fan of getting on the highway or driving, which is why I like big cities where I can walk…or the south where I can ride a bike. I will most definitely live in one of these places when he is done with school; the city might come sooner if the commute gets to be too much for him next year. But since I have been focusing less on outcomes and more on the present moment, he is happy here, so this is where we stay.
When I am not focused on me, I am focused on him. What is it he requires? Gain more weight; make more food. Workout more; take him to the gym. Getting more sleep; wake from my slumber to get him off his computer, which happens to be his only form of a social life due to football. Most days are spent trying to help him reach his goal. Which is easy for me to do, because it’s something I do for myself now and we all need someone in our corner.
So when a guy knows a guy who lives out somewhere near us and not in Jersey, I agreed to take him. I didn’t even think twice about driving to the middle of nowhere! We laughed, shared stories and he even confided in me about one of his friends having a problem and how he was trying to help her.
I enjoyed every minute of being with him; even when he played his music, which I struggle to like sometimes. We even got stuck in traffic but I was so focused on listening to him and seeing how insightful he is, I had a great time.
I share this story with you because I heard this song this morning and it reminded me of another key theme to manifesting. When you have complete trust in the Universe and allow it to bring you what you need instead of chasing after it, things just start to happen for the better. Life gets easier instead of harder.
One coach leads to another coach which leads to something else; something better. Everything aligns so seamlessly, without you even having to do anything. It appears to be simply “gifted” to you.
The auditions have been rolling in for me; really fun ones too, more me. I’ve been selling my cards on all platforms without doing any advertising and I know this has nothing to do with me doing anything. It has everything to do with me doing nothing.
This energy of allowing instead of controlling is paramount to manifesting. When you put something into action that you really want, you are showing the powers that be that you are committed to it. No matter how much you are tested, you stay the course. You keep doing the inner work every time you are tested and you learn to discern very quickly. When you get to this place of inner peace, you are rewarded. It is the tic before the boom.
So if you want to see fireworks in your life, embrace all of the moments throughout the day. Focus on what you have instead of what you have lost and do not give your energy (attention) to anything or anyone who tries to take you back there.
Before you know it, you will be amazed at how seamless life can be. Surrender to what is instead of trying to make it something it is not or ever will be.
I insist on being a part of the journey my son is on, because I want to be there when he makes it to his destination. There will be people along your journey that are not meant to be a part of your destination. It’s okay. We all have our own paths. Don’t try to make someone walk yours with you if they don’t want to or simply can’t. This is one of the main reasons you will not manifest what you want. Your energy is scattered and going backwards instead of forwards.
Find inner peace, stay present and don’t allow anyone to mess with your vibe. If you can do this…Boom! You will be a manifesting magnet.