Expressing What Matters

Do you ever wonder how someone learned to talk the way they talk? I mean really wonder, wonder, wonder who taught them how to talk like that?

There are people who speak their minds and don’t care who they offend. They say what they feel and have opinions that may not be popular, but they could care less. They speak their truth all the time and aren’t some chameleon who changes their colors depending on who they are conversing with.

How about people who are so unconscious, they say whatever comes to mind, even offensive things, because they are completely clueless and lack empathy.

Then there are people who say mean things to others when no one else is around because it makes them feel good to belittle someone else. In truth, they feel so incredibly small and if you have ever met someone like this, they will be your greatest lesson in how much you value yourself.

Then there are people who don’t say anything at all! They just observe. They may even see an injustice, like someone being harmed by another emotionally or physically and watch it all go down, unwilling to step in and do anything about it.

We may learn to not express ourselves by our parents when we are younger, but at some point there has to be an accountability factor and you need to put on your big girl/boy pants and stop running this outdated program.

People who express themselves aren’t afraid of what others think; it is the one factor that makes them authentically and unapologetically confident with who they are. A person who speaks their truth and expresses themselves all the time is a powerful one. Someone who lives in fear of what others think is the exact opposite.

I didn’t grow up talking like this. I learned how to. Life was my biggest teacher. All the times I didn’t express myself, others were keen to express my opinions for me, and well, that didn’t bode too well for me. I was in a prison of own making, much like anyone else who is too afraid to speak up for fear of rejection.

I am perfectly content speaking my truth now and while I discern between who is worthy of my pearls and who is not, my thoughts here are yours to read, in hopes that you may find your voice and lay to rest anything and anyone that has tried to stifle you.

Express yourself and in all matters of life you will be free, no matter your circumstance.

Keep Those Lips Sealed

I find it fascinating, almost comical really, when people invite you out so they can get dirt/gossip/the tea. First and foremost I don’t divulge information about myself or others and secondly, I despise gossip. It is so low vibe and people who do it are the worst!

But….there are people who live for it, which is why I say no to most invitations where I feel like there is malicious intent. If I do not feel that the invitation is authentic I simply say no. I know who my friends are; I have 5 really good ones. I can tell them anything and I know they will not press replay for another to hear.

I am lucky! Five friends is a lot! None of them live near me. I have been ridiculed by people saying I have no friends, but that’s because they measure friendship far different than I do.

I am always in shock when someone repeats things to me that were said to them by someone else, who you know they confided in. To me, this is the ultimate betrayal which is why I learned to discern a while ago who was worthy of my information and who was not.

It is a very valuable trait to hone and one I would recommend you do while you are reading this. Sometimes those who you think are your friends are simply people filing their ears with all of your stuff so that they can tell someone else.

The saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” So if you are hanging out with people who have disparaged others, gossiped or judged others and you have questioned their actions or morals, then you are in fact a person who has the same exact qualities.

It is virtually impossible to be with people you have nothing in common with. Maybe an hour out of obligation if they are family, but if you are continually spending time with people who make horrible decisions, hurt others, and gossip, then you are one in the same.

I talk a lot about environment and people you choose to spend your time with because to me it is very telling of who and what a person values. They might say they value you, but if they are spending time with people who only value themselves, then just know you are low on their list of priorities.

I prefer to keep my lips sealed with most people, unless they have proven to me that they are worthy of my trust. It’s not hard to earn someone’s trust if your intentions are pure, but it is impossible to get it back, if you have have lied to them, gossiped about them or disparaged them.

If you want a real friend, lover or healthy relationships in general, then keep your lips sealed.

Lost

Are we ever really lost? Well…yeah!

I used to have this job where I had to drive to Queens and Brooklyn and call on clients. I hate driving in Queens and Brooklyn! Google Maps was my best friend. And Waze, except Waze tends to put you on routes where you are praying it keeps working because you will wind up on the side of the road crying your eyes out of sheer terror because you can’t find your way back.

I think we all fantasize about taking a road trip and just driving; letting the road take us wherever it wants to and stopping along the way to grab a snack and chat it up with the locals, but we don’t have time to do that, so we want the most direct route to where we are headed.

Thankfully we have Google Maps and Waze for the road, but unfortunately we can’t use them for life. I mean I guess you could ask Suri or Alexa if you should take that job, ask that person out or tell that one off, but they will probably just answer back, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.”

Even if they could help you, you would still wind up being lost, because being lost in life is a state of mind and the only person who can find you, is you.

We are all lost at some point. We lose our way. We venture out in one direction that we think is going to suit us and end up on a dead end road. It’s okay if this happens to you, the key is looking within and realizing you need to take a different road, but only after you have reflected.

If you don’t reflect, you will always be lost. You will meet the same love partners and wonder why you always feel unfulfilled. You will take new jobs but wind up in the same roles with the same people who pissed you off at the last one you had. If you keep repeating the same cycles and have not done an ounce of reflecting on why the same things keeps happening to you, than you are most definitely lost.

Ironically, in order to find your true self, you have to be willing to lose who you thought you were. You have to be willing to embrace the changes that want to take you on a new path; a much brighter and bigger one, instead of fearing it. But change scares people. Most people hate change, which is why they are perpetually lost.

I was lost for a long time. It wasn’t until I got on board the train numbered 1111 that I found myself. I saw those numbers everywhere and was pretty much forced to resign to them. I initially assumed that others were having the same experience as I was because the numbers, dreams and synchronicities were overwhelming. It was truly heartbreaking to realize I was on this road by myself. You see, the path to finding yourself is a lonely one, which is why so many people prefer to stay lost.

If you are feeling lost, it will be okay. Now you can find yourself. Resign to what life is trying to show you instead of ignoring it, else you will always be lost. Allow yourself to feel and then you will heal.

Sending you light from the end of the tunnel. All you have to do is take yourself out of it.

Be the Sunflower

Sunflowers grow best when they get at least 8 hours a day of the sun. They actually track the sun to stay in its light. They also require a lot of space to reach their potential. If they are planted too close together, they will not blossom to their fullest. They also have a history of healing. They have traveled to far away places; space being one of them. The middle part of the flower has both male and female sex organs, which makes it a complete union of masculine and feminine qualities.

As far as their spiritual meaning, they symbolize faith and are worshipped throughout many cultures because it resembles the sun. The sunflower also represents a desire to seek enlightenment and truth.

I love sunflowers! It’s not for all of the reasons I just stated, I just think they are very unique and make you feel happy. But if you had to be a flower, or be represented by one, then this one is pretty cool.

When we are trying to stay in the light, we need to surround ourselves with positivity. In order to have this, we require a lot of space. We have to set boundaries. People who are not in the light don’t like those. They will do anything to keep you from the light, so they will invade your space and cross the boundaries you have tried to instill, to keep you where they are.

You will feel constricted and start to question the light that you are being called to, especially if the people who are threatened by your light are those closest to you. But if you thrive in the light you know it. You also know when you are around people who don’t.

Our light heals others without us even knowing it. But when you feel your light fading because someone else is taking too much of it to try and heal themselves without giving you light in return, you become depleted and start to wither. You are literally drained when you are around people who do not seek their own light, but take yours instead.

You might travel a bit to revive your light, but when you come back to your reality your light gets challenged by the darkness again and a battle ensues between the masculine (giving) inside you and the feminine (receiving). When you give too much you are not receiving and when you receive too much you are not giving. If this is happening, you are no longer shining your light because it has been dimmed and the chances of you manifesting anything are nil because you are imbalanced energetically.

It is paramount to your inner well being that you stay in the light, no matter how dark it gets around you. The dark cannot remain in the light, nor can the light remain in the dark.

If you are the sunflower you need the light. Choose a new place to plant yourself so that you can thrive. You are the sunflower after all, and baby, you need it!

It’s Time to Rise

Well if this song doesn’t get you, I don’t know what will!

What does it mean to rise up? To me, it means you stand up, show up and are willing to take action towards what you want, no matter how uncomfortable. It is an unwavering journey towards whatever makes you happy, no matter what obstacles you might face or the ridicule that follows.

When we rise up in love, it means we are willing to go to any length for another, no matter how uncomfortable it might be for us. We put our discomfort aside because our love for them is so strong, we don’t even see it as a struggle, we see it as something we are called to do.

It means always having someone’s back, even in the face of adversity. It is a commitment to the love, respect and honor you have for another, despite what others might think. It is an understanding that the only thing that ever really matters is what you think, not what anyone else does. If you can’t rise up for yourself, then you can’t possibly rise up for another.

If you watched the video and are a mush like me, you couldn’t help but cry. This is a love we all imagine. The kind that was promised to us in all of the Fairy Tales, yet few of us ever receive. I don’t think it is from a lack of trying, I just think it’s often pursued from a place of lack itself, mostly within ourselves, and thus the heartache ensues.

When we rise up and unapologetically meet our most authentic self, it only seems rewarding that we would turn around and see the person who has done the same. If you have done the work and haven’t met that special person yet, just know they are on their way. It is your right to have love without conditions! Don’t settle for anything less.

Here’s to love and all of its beauty, splendor and excitement. We may be content on our own, but walking that path with someone else is really what we all came here for. May we all be blessed with that special person who rises up to meet us and put an end to lowering ourselves to those who don’t.

Keep rising! The right person will meet you where you are.

Everybody Talks Too Much

I have had a few people reach out to me in the last week and tell me how lonely they feel. Each person is what I would call woke. They are very conscious of the world and what is going on around them. They see other people and wonder how they can’t be like that too, but the more they try to get the people they care about to be on the same page, they realize they aren’t even in the same library.

This is common when you work on yourself. It’s as though the lights are on all the time for you, but others are in the dark. You care, so you want to flip on the light switch so they can see too, they but look at you like you’re crazy because they don’t even see a light switch at all and you wind up fighting instead.

Because you aren’t speaking the same language with certain people, you find yourself weeding them out of your life and spending more and more time alone. You do this out of protection. You have to preserve your energy for you and not put it out there on others who are not ready to receive it.

When you are vibing at this higher state of consciousness, you avoid any negativity as much as possible. This can include the news or people who talk poorly about others. The last thing you want is to be bombarded by so much toxicity and you don’t have time for anyone who refuses to take accountability.

The more you work on yourself, the less tolerance you have for people who talk for the sake of talking. It’s amazing how much people talk and say nothing. I stopped talking to a lot of people awhile ago. My inner circle is very small and getting smaller by the day. I am fine with that. I value my energy and am very cognizant about who I gift it to.

If you’re awake and feel like you are all alone, you’re not. Every now and then we need a reminder of that. Cause it gets tough. Just remember that it doesn’t matter if anyone else gets you, you get you, and that’s all that really matters.

Saying Nothing Says a Whole Lot

No one can deny this is a beautiful song. But the meaning behind it is rather tragic.

Waiting for someone to tell you how they feel after you have already tried to convey your feelings to them and them not saying anything in return, says more than some of us can handle.

The words we long to hear don’t come, so we imagine the worst and stop giving to someone who is not receiving, and we walk away. Words can be weapons or they can be beautiful, but when we don’t speak them at all, it leaves others to wonder how we feel. And of course, we always imagine the worst.

Why is it so hard for some people to express themselves? Were they shot down as a child every time they did? Were they raised in a house like my grandmother, where they were told, “Children should be seen and not heard?” Perhaps every time they did try to convey their feelings they were laughed at or told it was wrong.

It doesn’t matter. None of that really matters. What does matter is how not expressing yourself and what you really feel just keeps perpetuating your past and denying you of love and authentic relationships.

It can be hard to express ourselves. I work very hard on this with my children. Sometimes we have arguments and they express themselves very well. It’s the apology that has a harder time coming, but it does. Eventually it does.

I have taught them to express themselves their entire lives and I have also taught them that it is equally important to acknowledge when you have said things that are hurtful or done something that made someone angry. I practice what I preach and there have been many times where I have had to apologize to them. We are very honest with one another and share a mutual respect.

This love, honesty and respect can be had in any relationship, but it does require saying something. You can always start with I’m sorry, How are you, I was just thinking about you, or Can we talk. They all work.

An authentic relationship will require you to be vulnerable. Are you ready to say something or do you want to keep having ones that are superficial?

Fire On Fire

To anyone who has ever questioned their self worth or thought they were not worthy of real love, this song was written for you.

You gotta love Sam Smith! Interesting that his last name is Smith, because he certainly is a word-smith.

It is amazing what love can do for us, which is why it is so astonishing that so many of us block it out of our lives. Often times it is standing right in front of us, but if it doesn’t measure up to our picture of it or ideal, we push it away and deny ourselves one of the most beautiful and profound emotions we will ever know.

And what of that ideal? I’ve had it myself. Often times the perfect picture winds up being a perfect disaster and this is where we find ourselves at fault. We can only ever attract into our lives what we believe about ourselves, so what do the people in your life say about you?

We do this because of our past. We live so much in our past, that we deny ourselves a future. I get it. I mean, if you have been hurt, the last thing you want to do is open your heart up to someone else.

Actually, I don’t get it at all. I have opened my heart more than a thoracic surgeon does and I’m still here. I’m not just here, I’m thriving. And that’s because I refuse to be a prisoner of my past.

Why on earth would I give my power over to something that already happened? Why would I give it over to a future that hasn’t occurred? It makes no sense and if you can see it that logically and understand that this moment, right here, right now is all that you have, then you are perfectly fine.

There really is nothing to be afraid of, except our imaginations, which is why mine is filled with dreams and things I desire, instead of things that scare me.

There really is nothing to be frightful of! Maybe wind. Wind scares me, and there is a whole heck of a lot of it outside right now.

Own Your Inner Savage

Photo by Gioele Fazzeri on Pexels.com

How ferocious and fearless can you be? And what will it take to bring it out?

Disappointment is a great place to start. Usually this comes from an outside source, but only because we have given our power away.  

But we can’t stay there, lying in the muck, blaming others. We have to be savages. We have to take all that stuff going on in our outer world, cut through the crap that isn’t ours, and figure out what is and then go about healing it.

I am always so grateful when I look back from where I am standing and see the evolution of myself. I cannot believe some of the behaviors I settled for or things I believed to be true about myself.

I have viewed people in my life from all angles now and have seen them for who they really are. I have taken a step back to see if they fit into my life anymore or are they continuing to try and bring me down?

Often times people in our inner circle are those who can hurt us most. And while we can’t always cut everyone out, no matter what other people say, we can put up some major boundaries to protect ourselves from pain. 

Discernment is the name of the game! Once you learn how to discern, your inner savage will be the guard at the gate that everyone will have to impress, before they get to the real you. 

Learn to discern!