Timing

Sometimes in life, more often than not, we run across a little thing called timing.

This can pertain to relationships, jobs or anything in-between. I have had many jobs put in front of me, dangling like the proverbial carrot, only to have them taken away as quickly as they came in. I say taken, cause that’s what it feels like when you want something so bad and don’t get it.

But the truth is, nothing is taken from us. I think what really happens, is that we don’t allow it in. We think we are, by simply willing it, thinking about it or just wanting it to death, but then when it shows up we don’t quite know that to do with it.

Our fears get the best of us and we talk ourselves out of so many wonderful things in life. We might even pray for things, but when they are gifted to us we scoff at it and ignore it, thinking we know what is best, when maybe the powers that be know better. Maybe what we think is better for us, is actually the worst and that’s why it doesn’t show up.

We can cry over spilled milk to the end of our days, talk about the should haves and the could haves all we want, and of course, bring in the ole timing aspect. But the real truth as to why we do not live lives that are full, rich and completely free of drama, is that we are afraid of losing something called control.

We think if we have control over how something is supposed to happen, when it is supposed to happen and even how, then everything will be okay.

But what if life is showing us something different? What if this pandemic has been trying to show us that there is no such thing as perfect timing or wrong timing? What if it’s trying to show us that time is an illusion. That the only thing we ever really have control over, is how we feel in this moment.

Life would be a whole lot simpler and so much less chaotic, if we all realized this. If we understood just how fleeting time really is. We do not have control over time. The only thing we do have control over, us how we manage our time and who we spend it with.

Your watch and my watch may say different times, depending on whose battery is better or where you live. But when it comes down to it, it isn’t about timing and where you are at or where I am. It just comes down to people agreeing to live in the moment, enjoy where they are, who they are with and know that nothing else matters. Nothing!

Timing is not a bitch, unless you make her one. Allow your heart to lead you instead of your head. How different would your life be, if you did this one simple thing?

What are You Wishing for?

When we wish for something it implies that we do not yet have it.

But why is that?

Do we think that what we want is out of our grasp? That it might take a miracle to receive it? Or de we feel that we have no control over getting it? We might think it depends on someone else for us to get it.

All of those perceptions are ways we disempower ourselves. When we give power to something or someone outside of ourselves we literally give up on what we want.

The only person who can ever go about getting those things you are wishing on a star for, is you. And I realized this after a long and arduous battle with myself and my limiting beliefs.

Last year I was having a great year with acting. I called it a great year; others wouldn’t agree because some people see wins through a small lens while I seem them differently.

A win in my world is an audition. A big win is a callback. A stellar win is being held or pinned for the job. The booking? That’s just the cherry on top! The wins start the minute you are recognized for your talent.

Don’t get me wrong, you also feel the losses when you get so close.

Imagine the roller coaster known as being an actor. You’re as high as you can possibly get, when you are told that you are pinned for a new show in a co-starring role. Then all of a sudden without warning, you’re thrown over the side and land on your face and wind up picking cotton candy and old popcorn out of your hair, wondering what the hell went wrong.

You ask yourself a hundred questions and none of them do anything but make you feel worse about yourself. Because in the end you have absolutely no power over if you get the job or you don’t. It’s nothing more than someone else deciding if you fit their vision for the part you are going for. That’s it!

That was just one of the many scenarios that brought up all of my “not being good enough” triggers. I was wishing on a star every damn day, but had absolutely no power over pulling that star in and making it my own.

To top it off, I had a manager who had her own issues of wanting to be seen and recognized. One time I was one of 50 actors picked out of 16,000 people who auditioned, to have an interview with a famous casting director. Before she gave me this amazing news, she marred it by writing three paragraphs about how I wasn’t emailing her enough or keeping her in the loop with everything I did.

All of it was so defeating and just made me feel bad about myself instead of good. But when you rely on others to look out for you who are running their own programs of not being good enough or needing control, you aren’t going to reach a star, let alone become one.

After two more incidents with her and bookings that wound up being more work on my end, then what I was being paid, I said goodbye. It was then that I realized it wasn’t about the money at all, it was about how much effort was being asked of me and how little was being given back.

Our empowerment and our ability to reach for the stars and grab them, comes from this knowing. Do not accept less than what you are giving and if you aren’t giving enough, then don’t expect others to keep playing by your rules.

Now, go ahead and reach for those stars!

Promises


Are you keeping promises? The ones you made to yourself?

The one where you said, I won’t give my heart to anyone who doesn’t give their heart in return?

The one that says, I won’t commit to anything unless it resonates 100 % with who I am?

How about the promise to your younger self that said I won’t do what my parents did, because it didn’t do a whole a hell of a lot for me?

And what of the promise that said, I will do better this time, because I care about the people in my life too much, than to do less than what they deserve?

Are you keeping your promises?

Because if you aren’t, then you are simply repeating a pattern and a program that was given to you by your parents and you haven’t really learned a thing.

Do better! Be better! Keep your promise to those you say you care about, or be the person who is brave enough to acknowledge that you can’t, and walk away.

Tears

Tears are a response to an emotional state, pain or a physical irritation of the eye.

Sometimes tears come when we are cutting an onion. Our eyes become irritated and they need to release the element that is causing it.

Tears of pain aren’t fun. We bash our toes into a standing fan and break two of them and bam, those tears are flowing!

Tears of sorrow. Quite possibly the worst! Overwhelmed with grief, we have no other option but to let those babies come. We release all of that anguish in the moment the waterworks start.

Tears of joy. Those are nice ones. We become so overwhelmed with happiness, that tears flow from our eyes and then we eventually burst into laughter.

Tears are natural and are the brains way of releasing neurotransmitters. So if you are sad, it makes you feel better and if you are happy, it makes you feel happier.

But what of the tears we wish to drink from our enemies, like Genghis Khan wanted? I have a coffee cup that says that on it which got me thinking…Can a person really be so vengeful to want to do that? I think the answer is yes.

We see this a lot today. We don’t know who is telling the truth, what to believe, who to listen to or where we stand in all of it. It just seems to be a will of control and power. No tears are being cried over there.

But there are plenty of tears being cried by people who are struggling. And there is a lot of those folks.

I have found this entire Covid to be nothing short of tragic. Not just the lives that have been lost, but the fact that no information has been forthcoming in anything about it.

People have lost their jobs, lost their homes, lost their dignity, health insurance, the ability to pay for food, and the right to show their pearly whites as they express a much needed human emotion.

And after all of the asking, not much is being done in the giving department. Just ask ask ask and take take take. Everyone has raised their prices, but you aren’t getting any better service or better quality merchandise than you were before.

Where does it end? How does it end? What is being asked of all of us that we aren’t quite getting? Is it to be more savvy? More controlling? More reserved? More stingy? Or more giving?

I think the best thing to come out of all of this is Mother Nature getting the break she so rightly deserves. It’s ironic really. As powerful as men think they are, she has shown she is still far superior and pretty much put us all in our place.

People have been wearing masks far before Covid, so I find that pretty ironic as well, since they have now become the new norm. Now we can all hide who we really are, which is a damn shame, if you happen to be a person who is authentic.

I don’t like wearing a mask because it itches and fogs up my glasses. But I wear one because I am being told to. No other reason. I was on an airplane a week ago and was sitting right next to two people. While waiting to board the plane we were standing shoulder to shoulder. So much for six feet! I was wearing a mask because I was told to, but I didn’t feel any safer. I don’t like to fly. Flying doesn’t make me feel safe, it had nothing all to do with standing so close to humans.

How do the Ghengis Khans of the world become so notorious? They punish anyone who does not submit to their will. Perhaps the nightly news will reiterate that history always repeats itself, no matter how much you try to ignore it, tear it down or simply go along with what is being asked of you without asking why.

What is Sexy?

According to Merriam-Webster, sexy is attractive or interesting. I agree with the latter part; interesting, because people who are interesting, are pretty damn sexy.

Sexy to me means confidence as well. Not the false bravado type, which is merely a mask for a whole boat load of insecurities, but the kind that is understated, like Tyrion from Game of Thrones.

Sexy can be in any shape or form, too, depending on where you are at in your life and what you have experienced thus far. At one time you may have found people who looked really good sexy, but maybe now you’re at a point where you want something more than a little arm candy on your side that can’t articulate a thought.

If you are evolving as a person, then you get to a point where you understand that a look is just a look and nothing more. Some people make money off of their looks and occasionally those are the people with the most insecurities. Go figure!

And then there are people who others might call unattractive and dismiss them altogether, simply because they aren’t camera ready, aka looking like they walked out of a page of Vogue.

Sexy; it’s a very unique concept and the older I get, the more I find myself focusing on what sexy is not.

Sexy is not a falsity of any kind. It’s not validation, manipulation or frustration either. It’s certainly not drama, or flakey or controlling. It’s not dismissive, indecisive or destructive at all. It’s not lying, giving excuses or making things up. It’s not one way to you and another to someone else, depending on who is in the room.

Sexy is sexy because it’s an inside job and one that exudes with the radiance of a thousand suns if you possess it. It’s like a beacon to everyone who comes in contact with you. They see you and they want to have what you have, but most people aren’t willing to do the work to get it.

Sexy isn’t lazy. It is a knowing that something cannot be obtained out there somewhere, but that you need to go within to get it. You have to heal the parts of yourself that are still searching out there for someone to make you feel sexy, which isn’t sexy at all.

Sexy is a place of complete and utter calm within ones self. It’s a knowing that no matter what is going on around you, you can’t be jarred. You know without a doubt that you are on a certain path and cannot be wavered from it, no matter what challenges present itself to you.

Sexy is being unapologetic about who and what you are. It doesn’t care if someone likes the way you dress, the way you talk or the way you expresses yourself. Sexy in essence, is freedom. Freedom from everything and everyone that has ever tried to keep you small. And that, in short, is what makes a person so damn sexy.

Are you expressing yourself fully or continuing to play a role for someone else, limiting the real you from coming forward? Are you staying small for others so that they can feel good about themselves? Are you still trying to manipulate and control people because you hurt so badly, it makes you feel better to hurt others?

Or, are you sexy? And do you know it? Do you own it? Or are you still having trouble with that one?

It takes a lot of confidence to dance around in a mankini, but I’d say this guy nailed it. The fro is pretty cool too. Just sayin!

Be you! Do you! That’s sexy!