Balance

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an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.

I try to do yoga 4-5 times a week. Yoga is all about balance, much like life is. Often times one of my sides if off balance and I cannot get into a pose really well or hold one as long as the other.

If you are into any type of energy work or spirituality, then you know that the right side of the body represents masculine and the left side represents feminine. I am fascinated by this when people complain of aches or pains on one side of their body and I wonder where they are off balance in their thoughts, actions, and feelings.

The masculine side is characterized by logic, facts, systems, and self-interest. The feminine side uses intuition, feelings, openness, and the unselfishness of our nature. If we see them as separate, instead of embracing both qualities within us, then we are living in duality.

If both sides are in harmony, then your masculine and feminine energies are balanced and you have better health, harmony, and are conscious to all beings. You may have heard the terms divine masculine and divine feminine; this is unity within, which in turn, will foster unity without.

In order to have healthy relationships with partners, nature and everything in-between, there has to be a union of these two energies within us first. But most of us do not have this and our relationships will reflect where we are off balance.

We are currently off balance at this particular time in history. We are anxious, fearful, panicked, overwhelmed and angry. Shelves are empty and people are scared. We are ignoring one another instead of helping and staying as far away from anyone that we even perceive as a threat.

Where is the humanity in any of it? Human touch is what makes us all thrive, yet we are afraid to even look at one another.

I don’t know about you, but I refuse to buy into the fear. I cannot control what happens tomorrow, nor can you. The best that I can do is be responsible, make smart choices that don’t put myself or others in danger and keep doing what I do.

I’m not wearing a mask, I don’t have any Purel, I haven’t stock-piled toilet paper, and I most certainly haven’t stopped my yoga practice or auditions. In fact, I think I might go out to eat later and enjoy a nice dinner with a glass of wine.

Call me irresponsible, call me crazy or call me ignorant. I don’t care. I’m calling it living without fear because feeding into it, only creates more hysteria and I don’t operate from that place. If I have learned one thing on this journey, it’s to respond not react; there really is a difference.

All that is being asked of you at this moment, is to remain balanced. To stay calm. Love those in your life a little more because you are being forced to be with them now and maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Look at the positive and stop focusing on the negative and all of this will leave as fast as it came.

Nurture the feminine aspect of yourself and the masculine one as well. We are not at war with one another, in fact, we are in this together. This is an opportunity for us all to unite and make conscious choices that will raise the vibration of our planet, instead of ones based on fear that lower it and send us all into a tailspin.

Love, laugh, play games, share meals, talk. Everything happens for a reason-maybe this one is simply to appreciate what we have and those who are in our lives, just a little more.

Mirror Mirror

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Man In The Mirror

I’m a sucker for Disney movies! I watched Snow White this week and as the evil step mother looks into the mirror and asks, “Who is the fairest of them all?” I had a revelation.

I used to hear the word “mirroring” all the time when I was forced on this spiritual journey. You know what I mean by that because, well, you don’t really have a choice. Once you start seeing things differently there’s no not seeing them, so you have to just keep going.

I digress.

I would hear spiritual teachers say, “You don’t like that person because they are mirroring something back to you.” What did that even mean? The more I thought about it, the more confused I got.

I mean, there were some women in my life with a resting bitch face that could be sold on Halloween. And the men? Equally as ugly. They disregarded me, treated me as though I were beneath them or tried to control me, just to make their disempowered selves feel  more powerful. Was I them? As hard as I tried to see it, I just didn’t, because I knew I was nice, so I couldn’t grasp how I attracted so many meanies into my life.

Well, it took me a very long time to get this one, so I am going to share it with you just in case you are wondering what the people (we’ll call them mirrors) you are looking into are really reflecting back to you. (You should get excited now..this is a game changer!)

They are mirroring YOUR unhealed wounds. Things that happened to you in your childhood. You see, at some point in your childhood, someone either made you feel less than, disregarded, abandoned, unsafe, bullied, controlled, disempowered, unloved, and plain old not good enough. All of the big ones!

And because no one cared what your feelings were, you were just a child after all and what kind of a voice were you allowed to have…you learned to stuff it all inside. And now, years later, you’re wondering why you keep attracting the same boss, the same men, the same women. Blah blah ad nauseam.

This little kid, now a grown ass adult, has been trying to get your attention for a long time. But you keep shoving it down, ignoring its pleas and outright dismissing any wrong doing to it, much like the adults in your life did to you. But now the little kid has had it, so all of that pain is surfacing, begging to be healed once for all, by way of the asshole standing in front of you, making you feel horrible.

This is mirroring. You are not, nor have you ever been this horrible person who is making you feel bad. This person who puts you down, embarrasses you, makes nasty comments, tries to control you, takes advantage of you, lies to you or maybe even dismisses you altogether, is someone from your childhood.

Your response in your body is a telltale sign that you are being triggered by them and is an opportunity for you to finally listen to that little kid who was shut down. The way you feel when you are around this person, their tone of voice or something they say, the way they look at you or even roll their eyes when you talk, are all clues that this mirroring is happening to you.

Your unhealed traumas from childhood show up in random people as a gift. I know that sounds ridiculous, but once you see these people for who they are, you will no longer be controlled by them. You can look at each of them as a door that is opening, until finally that little kid is set free.

Who were when you came into this world, before the adults in your life gave THEIR shit to you? I’ll tell you…amazing, limitless, lovable, strong, talented, brilliant, beautiful and innocent.  Take that back! You have the key, but as long as you keep holding onto the stories that were given to you, instead of making your own, you will attract the same people who disempower you, until you do.

The step mother in Snow White saw this purity in her step daughter and she was jealous of it. People who put you down, treat you poorly and judge you are really jealous of you because they see all of these qualities in you but do not know how to give it to themselves, so they take yours instead.

We all possess beauty, inner beauty. There is no need to disparage someone else to have it. If someone is doing this to you, then it is because you have unhealed childhood wounds that are needing attention.

There is no need to look at people who don’t love you unconditionally anymore. We’re done with that! Lesson learned! And if you haven’t yet gotten it, then ask yourself what it is they are showing you that needs to be healed. Do you love yourself enough to finally get this?

See all of those people as alerts: “Danger Will Robinson!” your inner child is saying, begging you to look at it, hear it, help it.  We only ever attract people into our lives who mirror how we feel about ourselves on the inside. Does that make sense? I hope so!

Stop looking for mirrors, unless you’re doing your makeup or hair. Look within! That is where all of your answers are and your freedom too.

Light

light

the sensation aroused by stimulation of the visual receptors

Shining Star

There are many types of light. Light in color, light weight and can I get a light? But the light I am referring to is the inner one.

People who have an inner light, an inner radiance, seem to emanate actual light from their bodies, as though they glow.

We are drawn to people who are light and are completely turned away by those who we perceive as dark/heavy. They aren’t actually dark, but compared to someone who is light, they appear that way and actually feel that way when we are around them.

People who do not have their own light will seek it out from those who do. They crave love, validation and acceptance and instead of giving those qualities to themselves, it’s easier to take it from someone who already has them, so that is what they do.

Hey, the more light the merrier, right? So people with light share theirs freely because it feels good to do so and they operate from a place of pure joy and authenticity so they think nothing of it.

The problem with this giving without conditions, is that people who do not have their own light take and take from those who have it and give nothing in return, essentially depleting the light of its brightness.

Have you ever felt really drained around someone? Like you are trudging through water with weighted boots and cloaked in a four hundred pound coat? You can’t shake the heaviness no matter how hard you try, but ironically the person who is heavy feels as light as a feather when they are with you. This is a person who has just zapped your light. And while you scramble around trying to find your energy, that person flits away like a bee leaving a flower after grabbing its nectar.

People who do not possess an inner light may be depressed, angry or needy. These are people who cannot see the light within themselves, but they see it so clearly in you. In fact, they may even resent you for it so they might do and say anything to try and keep you from seeing it yourself.

Darkness does have its purpose though – it shows you the absence of light. Who are these people at their core, without the light they so freely take from others? I don’t think they even know. The pearls, guidance and love you give so freely helps them shine brighter for a moment, but is it not sustaining. And most importantly, it isn’t your job.

The only job you have is to shine brighter. You know that the light that people see is really love for the self. Everyone wants love but most people aren’t willing to work for it. It comes with a price. And it’s a hefty one. You have to do the work. The inner work. The gritty, hard, sad, frustrating, lonely, gut wrenching work. And some folks just can’t be bothered.

But when you do the work, your reward is the light. The light of self love is what people are drawn to because on some level we all know that this is true freedom.

Love the self and watch yourself glow!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Labels

a classifying phrase or name applied to a person or thing, especially one that is inaccurate or restrictive.

I’m not a fan of labels of any kind. That’s not to say that I don’t appreciate something Prada may have created or Gucci, but I don’t seek them out just because they are those brands.

I detest labels in people. Nothing turns me off more than when people define themselves by a label. “I’m this, I’m that, I do this for a living, I went here to college…”

I have never understood why people feel the need to do this. We have become a society that sums people up in  a millisecond and decides if we  want to move forward with a person based solely on the label they attach themselves to.

The industry I work in loves to label people, which is why I have started to remove myself from it. I’ve been focusing more on helping dogs these days. I get more of a reward from it and it really drives me to want to make changes.

There have been many changes in the acting industry since I started it and not ones I particularly like. It seems the harder you work in the business, the less you are valued and people who cast don’t seem to be very interested in talent anymore. They are most interested in your label.

Are you a transgender? Gay? Bi-racial? Gray haired? Brunette? A mixed family? A veteran? A clown? A Knicks fan?

It’s truly unbelievable! I’m not sure when the industry became about labels, but I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that our world seems to be obsessed with them.

Who gives a shit what you are! How about we start defining ourselves by what we stand for? What are soul calls us to do? How we give back? What our essence is?

I am only one person. But I know if I truly believe that I am not capable of making a difference because of that reason, then I may as well join the masses and label myself “retired”.

As long as we continue to label ourselves, we will remain divided. When we start to understand that we all just people, no matter what our sexuality, our color, or our age is, then maybe we can start to make real change.

Until then I’ll be over here doing my part. Standing in my power, taking jobs that resonate with who I am instead of what someone wants me to be and making a difference to dogs, even if it’s only one that benefits from my efforts.

Let’s Dance

Lets Dance

Into the shadows. Our shadows!

We all have a shadow side. The part of us that we want no one else to see, to know.

But why? Why do we give a shit what others think of us? Is it low self-esteem? Not trusting in ourselves? Wanting… no not wanting..yearning for other people’s approval?

I’m so over it! But mostly people who care so much about something that doesn’t matter at all.

The truth is, when you accept who you are completely, others will do the same. It’s when we are on wavering ground that others have the upper hand and begin to question what we are doing and in turn, we question it too.

Let us not waver. Let us stand strong in the knowing of who we are and not need the approval of people who don’t.

Let’s dance! Let’s have a little fun! Let’s embrace who we are and be okay with it, even if our shadow side can be a little scary.

We are enough! We are perfect just the way we are. Shadow and all!

 

 

 

 

 

Being at Peace

Peace: freedom from disturbance; tranquility.

I feel like I have been traveling for several years now with no destination in mind and have finally arrived at this place called Peace.

But before I landed here, I faced so many ups and downs. So many uncertainties. So much utter chaos. I once found the unknown simply intolerable, now oddly enough, I find peace with it.

I no longer look for an outcome, I only look at what is standing right in front of me.  Every now and then I look over my shoulder, but only for a moment, to reflect on what was being taught to me.

I see everything as a lesson now. A glimpse into the parts of me that have been begging to be healed; essentially wanting to be freed from some jail cell I put them in. They show up in the strangest ways. And if I was not conscious, I could quickly become triggered by them.

A girl at a McDonalds withholding the key to the bathroom for me, after seeing me standing and waiting for 4 minutes. Moving closer still as she swept, eyeing me up and down, until finally asking me if I was waiting for the bathroom. When I replied yes, she asked if I was going to buy something.

I laughed to myself. Here we go again with that pattern! Having to give something in order to get something in return. I’m so done with that!

“Sure!” I said. I really had to go.

In turn, she laughed at me; playing out her programs of disbelief right in front of me. I wondered how many people had lied to her for this to be her response. She then cocked her head back and proceeded to unleash her anger in another language at me, as she reached into her pocket and took out the keys.

The old me would have been angered by this. The new me knew it was an insight into how powerless she felt in her life, to have to keep a bathroom hostage. Which obviously was a reflection of how powerless I have felt in mine. How many times have I kept parts of myself hostage because I thought I had no power.

I thanked her for showing me how powerful I was and left.

We not need be triggered by people. We need to see what it is that they are showing us that needs to be healed. Once and for all.

The world is full of people who are miserable. They refuse to take accountability for where they are in their lives and only want to blame others. Judge others. Keep others in the programs that make them feel safe. They do this by control.

But that’s not how I roll. That’s a false sense of safety. Having to give something to get something in return? Having to pay a price for acceptance, love, or a bathroom entry?

No one should have to pay a price for anything. But if you don’t know your self worth, than others will guess it for you and you will continue to pay a price until the day you don’t.

When life throws someone your way who gives you attitude, take note. Whatever part of you gets lit up, is a part of you begging to be released from the prison you have put it in. Feel the feeling, acknowledge the part of you that is begging to be freed and then let it go  once and for all.

 

 

 

Chemistry

is the scientific discipline involved with elements and compounds composed of atoms, molecules and ions: their composition, structure, properties, behavior and the changes they undergo during a reaction with other substances.

Notice the last line there. The changes they undergo during a reaction with other substances.

It’s funny how people will talk about having chemistry with someone like its a good thing. But if you’re with me on this journey so far, then you have probably figured out that having chemistry with someone is just a nice way of saying “Faster your seat belts cause its about to get real ugly!”

Nothing will spurn you on more to healing  yourself, then having chemistry with someone. That magnetic pull, spark, ignition, whatever you want to call it, is really a huge wake up call to the self.

I didn’t invent this philosophy. I heard about it from someone else who directed me to this article.  Is Love Enough

So many of us yearn for that chemistry with someone, without knowing what that really means. But after reading that article, it will probably be the last thing you will ever want again.

But what do we want then, when it comes to a connection with someone? We want the recognition of who we are on a soul level. This is the part of us that few even get to see because we generally keep it hidden from everyone. We are so afraid of being vulnerable that we hide who we are and pretend to be a number of things, even when they don’t suit us. When we meet people under these false pretenses, is it any wonder things don’t work out?

The question we should be asking ourselves is “Who are we when no one is around?” and then followed with, “Why aren’t we being this person all the time?”

Fear of rejection is probably top on the list. We are so afraid of being rejected for who we really are that we spend lifetimes being the exact opposite and then wonder why we are so unhappy in relationships. We will blame the other person. We’ll say, “They just don’t get me.” But how can anyone possibly get you, when you are masking who you really are?

I used to think chemistry was all that mattered when you met someone. I mean it’s all people ever talk about, like it’s the crown jewel to the perfect relationship. But now I see things so differently.

My outer world is always a reflection of my inner world. Therefore, if I do not like what I see, or if I feel bad when I am with someone, I go within, because I know there is some aspect, some belief, some unresolved issue I have, that is begging me to heal it.

I cannot blame other people if I am not happy. If I am not seeing the results I want, then it is a me thing, not another person thing. Sure, it would be easy for me to point my finger in the direction of someone else and say, “It’s all their fault.” And believe me, I have done that. But it gets me nowhere, except on the road to more of the same. A vicious cycle of the same pattern over and over again.

True love, the fairy tale, the perfect partner, the one we all chase after like some silly ass pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, already exists within ourselves. Once you grasp this concept and stop looking outside yourself for someone to come and save you and start focusing on yourself instead, the person who is your divine partner, lover extraordinaire, friend forever, confidant, you name it, appears like magic, as though they were standing right in front of you all along. Cause they were! It’s you! You are your own perfect partner.

The person who can meet you on this level, is just the icing on the cake. And you might not even want cake! But what an empowering place to be. Not needing anything or anyone. Wanting? Now that’s another story!

Now repeat after me. I am worthy. I love myself. I approve of myself. I choose myself. It’s safe to be me. If you can tap while saying these things, it will really bring the messages home. I highly recommend it.

Stop looking outside yourself and look within. Leave chemistry for the rookies. You’ve done enough work. Aren’t you just exhausted? I know I am!