One of the hardest lessons we learn in life, is that you cannot change people. We might try and then lose ourselves in the process.
We may give second and third chances even; hoping and praying that they will finally understand, finally get what we are giving. And yet they still don’t, no matter how pure our love is.
And so we are left heartbroken.
What do we do with that pain? We go within. We ask the questions, and not the typical ones you think of. We are awake and conscious, so we ask different ones. Ones that help us move on and empower us, so that we never do this again, never invest in someone who is not as invested in us.
We ask: Why are we bothered by someone who doesn’t feel the same way we do? Why are we taking it so personally? Why are we trying to change someone to see things our way, when there are people out there who already do? Why are we giving our precious energy away? Why are we accepting less than what we know we are worth?
The answer to all of those questions, sadly, is that we are seeking outside of ourselves for validation, rather than within. Our value as a person never comes from someone else, yet so many of us seek it from other people, instead of finding it within ourselves.
So we always end up in the same place with the same types of people when we operate from this disempowering level. Wanting.
Whatever we believe to be true about ourselves is exactly what we attract into our lives. In every single area of it.
You can try and change the person you are with all you want, but the one thing, the only thing that you can change, is yourself.
If you find yourself in a relationship that is challenging, just know that you cannot change them. But you can empower yourself to change how you respond to them.
You were a vibrational match to this person before you started to awaken and work on yourself. When you get to work on your stuff and your person doesn’t, there will be a huge disconnect.
This stuff is hard. It hurts. Your heart breaks and you mourn the loss of something you thought you had. But what you are really mourning, if we are being honest, is the loss of your time invested in something or someone who wasn’t as invested as you were.
You can talk to them and try to tell them what is going on, and maybe the changes you have made on yourself will inspire them to want to change as well. But if not, please know that your value, your shine comes from you, not them and once you understand this, you’ll never settle again.
Keep shining! Don’t stop for someone else. And don’t try and get them to see how bright their shine can be either. That’s on them, not you. Change is an inside job and some people don’t want to do it.