What Is Your Calling?

respond-to-every-call

a strong urge toward a particular way of life or career; a vocation.

While we are all at home now, there really isn’t a better time to explore your calling. And while you may not be able to jump all in (whether that is just your perception or not), you can take steps towards that which excites you, without overwhelming yourself.

I’m not sure what my calling is, but I do follow inner promptings (some might say this is spirit poking me) towards things that I am intrigued by.

I just finished a three day class on Meditation. I have always sat quietly with my thoughts, but never learned ways to get rid of the thoughts and go to a deeper place called samadhi. Funny thing is, I was exhausted from it! I literally fell into bed every night and then had the most vivid dreams.

I will continue with the practice because I enjoyed learning about it so much and have already looked into a class called yoga nidra. I have also thought about learning to teach yoga to incorporate all of this, but it could just be something that I think about and never do.

I am not bothered at all by this quarantine but that’s because I like being alone and home. I also like being around others and going places but down time allows me to think about what really matters most to me and how to go about doing it.

I am finally going to learn French because I keep getting reminder emails from Duo and Paris is my absolute favorite place. I have my course in Faster EFT that needs to be completed in order for me to move to level 2 and my oldest son and I started a screen play last summer that we need to finish. Believe it or not I still get auditions! Voice over recordings I do on my phone and self tapes I do in my make-shift home studio.

As you can see, I am not a person that is without things to do. I do create them though! It is my nature to do so, but I know that some people struggle with all of this time and isolation that they have been given and are having a hard time being home.

If you are one of those, then you might want to ask yourself why that is. Do you always feel the need to be around others? Are you trying to escape something? Someone? Maybe it’s you! Maybe you are afraid to look within and ask yourself what it is you truly want.

This time is really a gift. And while you must take precautions so that you don’t put yourself at risk or those you love, it doesn’t mean you have to stop living. In fact, if you are a person who has been putting off things you always talked about doing, now is the perfect time to start doing them.

There really is no excuse to not take this time for you. Allow yourself this moment to figure out what you want. And if you aren’t sure what that is, we have an incredible resource available to us called our imagination. You can tap into it at any time. And it’s free!

What is your calling? What lights you up? Excites you? Intrigues you? Brings you passion? Brings a smile to your face just thinking about it? Once you get an idea, take a few small steps in that direction. It may be as simple as making a list.

Need some inspiration to help you get started? I like to sit out in nature. I listen to the birds. I cheat and buy food for them so I always have them in my yard. Music is a great motivator. Put on a good tune and dance. Put on a sad one and cry. If you have a computer draft a book. Maybe you only get one line down. Keep coming back to it. We all have a story to tell. Paint! Paint by numbers are good. If you can, buy one on line. Do a puzzle.

This is not the time to be depressed. It’s a time to relish. We have been gifted this time because it was much needed. It is horrendous that it had to come the way it did, but it is here, so you have two choices. You can keep fighting the confinement or surrender to it.

I choose surrender! It’s easier, much more calming and allows my mind to take a much needed break from all of its processing.

What is your calling?

Are you going to answer or pretend you don’t hear it? Are you going to stay angry? Live in fear?

There has never been a better or more opportune time to go within, because you simply aren’t allowed to go out anymore.

 

 

Apology

a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure.

It’s Too Late To Apologize

Is it ever too late to apologize? I’ll leave that answer up to you.

The other day I got released from a really big job. My manager (the most amazing woman ever) apologized to me. It was completely unnecessary because that’s just the nature of the business, but she knows how hard I work and understood what it meant to me. She followed it up with a “I  believe in you.” It was truly heartfelt and I appreciated her acknowledgement of me as a person and an artist and the struggles that we go through.

But sometimes people apologize and don’t mean it. If you’re one of those, you should know that an apology without meaning is really manipulation. Have you ever had someone say, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” This is the worst apology of all because it really isn’t one. What it is, is a passive aggressive way of saying I’ll let you think I am acknowledging your feelings, when really I don’t give a crap about them at all.

I have had a few turdy people do some pretty shitty things to me in my life and I have never expected an apology from any of them nor do I want one. An empty person can only beget an empty apology which leaves you feeling emptier, and I don’t know about you, but I would rather be at a table with those who bring something to it, in lieu of those who only know how to take.

Here are my thoughts on an apology.:

1)An apology is not a confession. If you’re confessing, you’re only thinking of yourself and not the person you are apologizing to.

2)An apology should not be done with an expectation either. This is called an agenda and an agenda is all about you.

3)An apology is not some magic pill that you think is going to make you feel better once you do it. You’re swimming back in the me waters again. Save that shit for the confessional!

4)An apology should not be done because you think it will make things better in a situation, like a family thing. This is called acting. A person in touch with another person’s feelings will know when they need to say they are sorry, it won’t be scripted.

5)An apology is not something that requires the right time or the right circumstance. If you think this way, then you live in denial, because there is no much thing.

In it’s simplest form, an apology is the acknowledgement of another person’s feelings and how you may have trampled all over them. In order to know this, you have to have empathy. You have to have the ability to understand the feelings of someone else and be able to share those feelings openly and honestly. If you can’t do that, then don’t bother with an apology because it won’t be taken as one. (See 1-5 for where you are coming from).

But there are those times when we think we might need to apologize to someone, when it isn’t necessary at all. I think these apologies are from our own guilt because we know we did something that may have upset someone else, but it wasn’t intentional. An apology with an energy of fear or trepidation around it might be some program you’re running which has absolutely nothing at all to do with the person you think you need to apologize to, and you might want to look further into that.

My gauge for apologizing is simple. If I can see, hear or sense that I have upset someone in my life that I care about, then I do not hesitate. The relationships I have are far more important to me than my ego, so I acknowledge my part in someone else’s sadness, anger or frustration because my heart becomes lighter when I do so. A heavy heart is a burdened one; let that shit go.

Relationships that matter to us aren’t always easy. Sometimes things are said or weren’t said, and we wish we could go back and do things differently. But living in the past doesn’t work for anyone because it’s over. It is the present that counts.

Our time, our energy, our attention lets the people we care about know that we hear them, see them and understand them and that no matter what is going on in our world, we honor them by noticing what is going on in theirs as well.

And at the end of the day, that’s all any of us really want, isn’t it? To be honored, seen, appreciated and loved for who we are, by those we care for most.