Mirror Mirror


Man In The Mirror

I’m a sucker for Disney movies! I watched Snow White this week and as the evil step mother looks into the mirror and asks, “Who is the fairest of them all?” I had a revelation.

I used to hear the word “mirroring” all the time when I was forced on this spiritual journey. You know what I mean by that because, well, you don’t really have a choice. Once you start seeing things differently there’s no not seeing them, so you have to just keep going.

I digress.

I would hear spiritual teachers say, “You don’t like that person because they are mirroring something back to you.” What did that even mean? The more I thought about it, the more confused I got.

I mean, there were some women in my life with a resting bitch face that could be sold on Halloween. And the men? Equally as ugly. They disregarded me, treated me as though I were beneath them or tried to control me, just to make their disempowered selves feel  more powerful. Was I them? As hard as I tried to see it, I just didn’t, because I knew I was nice, so I couldn’t grasp how I attracted so many meanies into my life.

Well, it took me a very long time to get this one, so I am going to share it with you just in case you are wondering what the people (we’ll call them mirrors) you are looking into are really reflecting back to you. (You should get excited now..this is a game changer!)

They are mirroring YOUR unhealed wounds. Things that happened to you in your childhood. You see, at some point in your childhood, someone either made you feel less than, disregarded, abandoned, unsafe, bullied, controlled, disempowered, unloved, and plain old not good enough. All of the big ones!

And because no one cared what your feelings were, you were just a child after all and what kind of a voice were you allowed to have…you learned to stuff it all inside. And now, years later, you’re wondering why you keep attracting the same boss, the same men, the same women. Blah blah ad nauseam.

This little kid, now a grown ass adult, has been trying to get your attention for a long time. But you keep shoving it down, ignoring its pleas and outright dismissing any wrong doing to it, much like the adults in your life did to you. But now the little kid has had it, so all of that pain is surfacing, begging to be healed once for all, by way of the asshole standing in front of you, making you feel horrible.

This is mirroring. You are not, nor have you ever been this horrible person who is making you feel bad. This person who puts you down, embarrasses you, makes nasty comments, tries to control you, takes advantage of you, lies to you or maybe even dismisses you altogether, is someone from your childhood.

Your response in your body is a telltale sign that you are being triggered by them and is an opportunity for you to finally listen to that little kid who was shut down. The way you feel when you are around this person, their tone of voice or something they say, the way they look at you or even roll their eyes when you talk, are all clues that this mirroring is happening to you.

Your unhealed traumas from childhood show up in random people as a gift. I know that sounds ridiculous, but once you see these people for who they are, you will no longer be controlled by them. You can look at each of them as a door that is opening, until finally that little kid is set free.

Who were when you came into this world, before the adults in your life gave THEIR shit to you? I’ll tell you…amazing, limitless, lovable, strong, talented, brilliant, beautiful and innocent.  Take that back! You have the key, but as long as you keep holding onto the stories that were given to you, instead of making your own, you will attract the same people who disempower you, until you do.

The step mother in Snow White saw this purity in her step daughter and she was jealous of it. People who put you down, treat you poorly and judge you are really jealous of you because they see all of these qualities in you but do not know how to give it to themselves, so they take yours instead.

We all possess beauty, inner beauty. There is no need to disparage someone else to have it. If someone is doing this to you, then it is because you have unhealed childhood wounds that are needing attention.

There is no need to look at people who don’t love you unconditionally anymore. We’re done with that! Lesson learned! And if you haven’t yet gotten it, then ask yourself what it is they are showing you that needs to be healed. Do you love yourself enough to finally get this?

See all of those people as alerts: “Danger Will Robinson!” your inner child is saying, begging you to look at it, hear it, help it.  We only ever attract people into our lives who mirror how we feel about ourselves on the inside. Does that make sense? I hope so!

Stop looking for mirrors, unless you’re doing your makeup or hair. Look within! That is where all of your answers are and your freedom too.



Is a Japanese art form in which breaks and repairs are treated as part of the object’s history. Broken ceramics are carefully mended by artisans with a lacquer resin mixed with powdered gold, silver or platinum. The repairs are visible — yet somehow beautiful.

We are all Kintsugi, aren’t we? Beautiful, broken human beings from heartache, pain, suffering and life in general. Through all of the trials and tribulations we have managed to pull ourselves together and rise above the constant barrage of garbage that was thrown our way.

We are walking stories; histories filled with suffering, rejections and abandonments. Our wounds are our gold, much like the cracks that are fixed in the Japanese art form. So why do we not bring attention to them instead of hiding them away?

As we ascend and look further into ourselves, instead of into others for answers, we are forced to ask, “Who am I without all of the masks I wear, trying to impress others? Why am I afraid to share who I really am? Why do I pretend to be something I am not? And Why do I accept less than what I know I deserve?

Why do we struggle so much with these questions, when it really doesn’t have to be so complicated. Why don’t we embrace the parts of us that we perceive as broken, because in actuality they aren’t really broken at all. They are simply kintsugi.

Our history should be embraced whole heartedly, because it has made us who we are, which is nothing more than perfect.

May you look at your flaws as a piece of art, instead of hiding them away, and let those who are willing to see you for who you truly are, into your heart.






I Came Here For Love

I don’t know about you, but I came here for love. I didn’t come here to just get through the day, worry about tomorrow, dwell on the past, stay angry, live in misery, be alone, wonder what I could do more of, question what I could do less of or be disempowered by thoughts and feelings that no longer serve me.

No, I came here for love!

And boy do I ever love! I’m so freaking in love with myself (in a non-ego I’m better than you way) that nothing much phases me these days. When it does, I express myself. I no longer sit in silence hoping someone will guess what I’m thinking or hoping they will understand they have hurt me, I tell them!

As I reflect over my past I know when I have not been a good friend to people as well and to those people I apologize. I literally have. It is up to other people to accept an apology or not. We cannot control others and what they think and feel.

All I or any of us can do is own up to our stuff and how we may have unintentionally hurt someone. We are all learning. You are not at fault…well, unless you are. And if you are, simply apologize. If a person cannot accept your soul bearing itself than fuck em! This is a person you simply say goodbye to, knowing you did the best you could.

We came here for love! So start loving yourself enough to just be okay with wherever you are at and know and trust that as long as you are living in love, nothing else matters.

I Came Here for Love

Being at Peace

Peace: freedom from disturbance; tranquility.

I feel like I have been traveling for several years now with no destination in mind and have finally arrived at this place called Peace.

But before I landed here, I faced so many ups and downs. So many uncertainties. So much utter chaos. I once found the unknown simply intolerable, now oddly enough, I find peace with it.

I no longer look for an outcome, I only look at what is standing right in front of me.  Every now and then I look over my shoulder, but only for a moment, to reflect on what was being taught to me.

I see everything as a lesson now. A glimpse into the parts of me that have been begging to be healed; essentially wanting to be freed from some jail cell I put them in. They show up in the strangest ways. And if I was not conscious, I could quickly become triggered by them.

A girl at a McDonalds withholding the key to the bathroom for me, after seeing me standing and waiting for 4 minutes. Moving closer still as she swept, eyeing me up and down, until finally asking me if I was waiting for the bathroom. When I replied yes, she asked if I was going to buy something.

I laughed to myself. Here we go again with that pattern! Having to give something in order to get something in return. I’m so done with that!

“Sure!” I said. I really had to go.

In turn, she laughed at me; playing out her programs of disbelief right in front of me. I wondered how many people had lied to her for this to be her response. She then cocked her head back and proceeded to unleash her anger in another language at me, as she reached into her pocket and took out the keys.

The old me would have been angered by this. The new me knew it was an insight into how powerless she felt in her life, to have to keep a bathroom hostage. Which obviously was a reflection of how powerless I have felt in mine. How many times have I kept parts of myself hostage because I thought I had no power.

I thanked her for showing me how powerful I was and left.

We not need be triggered by people. We need to see what it is that they are showing us that needs to be healed. Once and for all.

The world is full of people who are miserable. They refuse to take accountability for where they are in their lives and only want to blame others. Judge others. Keep others in the programs that make them feel safe. They do this by control.

But that’s not how I roll. That’s a false sense of safety. Having to give something to get something in return? Having to pay a price for acceptance, love, or a bathroom entry?

No one should have to pay a price for anything. But if you don’t know your self worth, than others will guess it for you and you will continue to pay a price until the day you don’t.

When life throws someone your way who gives you attitude, take note. Whatever part of you gets lit up, is a part of you begging to be released from the prison you have put it in. Feel the feeling, acknowledge the part of you that is begging to be freed and then let it go  once and for all.




Mirror Mirror On The Wall…

You don’t need a mirror on the wall to see who you are, how you look or even how you are perceived. All you need to do is look at the people in your life.

They are a direct reflection of what you think of yourself. Now this realization will either make you feel pretty content or scare the hell out of you. If you’re scared, that’s a good thing.

It means you don’t like what you see and it’s time to go about changing it. The only way to do this is by changing yourself. Remember, you cannot change other people. It’s not your job and it’s a cop out. It all falls under the umbrella of control and who is to say you are right and they are wrong, anyway?

People are where they are at any given point because they are choosing to be. It is not your job to move them along on the journey, it’s theirs. Some people don’t even know they are on one!

When you start to look at life this way: that everyone and everything around you is a mere reflection of how you feel about yourself and what you have been focusing on, you start to become very attuned to what you are thinking about. This is also how you become a conscious creator of your reality and you see how easy it is to manifest what you want instead of what you don’t.

I read people and situations all the time. Every single day is a lesson into my inner world and where my thoughts are. If I do not like what I see, then I change my thoughts immediately because I am highly aware that every single person in my life is a mirror for where my thoughts about myself have been in the past or currently are.

You must be the guard at the gate of your thoughts. What are you creating? Where is your focus? Look around you. Do you really want to repeat more painful lessons of self worth by attracting people who show you how horrible you feel about yourself?  Or do you want to attract people who will value you for the super awesome person that you are? It’s an easy one for me! I’m done with shit heads!

I’m not just talking smack here, so test it yourself. Focus on red cars today. Think about seeing red cars. Look for them! I promise you that you will see them. When you see how easy it is to bring red cars into your reality, you will easily make the transition into bringing what you really want into it.

Remember, what you think is what you get. So think good shit!


Spiritual Manifesting

is the theory that through regular meditation and positive, constructive thought, you can make your dreams and desires become reality.  It revolves around the New Age concept of the Law of Attraction.

I have been working on the principle of manifesting for several years now without really understanding how it is done. I was focused beyond belief on what I wanted (or at least I thought I was) and yet it was nowhere in sight.

How could it not be working? I was reading all the books, following the steps and still, not one sign of anything I wanted. In fact, if I looked at my life, it was showing me everything I didn’t want and I couldn’t understand why.

Fast forward to now and I can tell you exactly how to manifest whatever it is you want. The principle is very simple, but understanding how to achieve your desires is key to seeing manifestations in your reality.

If you are fantasizing about it, imagining yourself with it and even making vision boards of your dream life and it still hasn’t manifested, then you’re probably getting annoyed. You may even be saying, “It’s not here.” “No matter what I do, I don’t get what I want.” “It’s not happening.” “In fact, it’s never going to happen.” “I want this thing so much but I don’t see how it can happen.”

Here’s how this translates to the Universe:  “No matter what she does she doesn’t get what she wants, so let me make sure that happens.”  So guess what you get? More of the same. Despite all of your efforts, if you are focused on the lack of it in your life, you will only attract more lack.

You are so focused on why it hasn’t showed up, that the Universe keeps sending you more of the not showing up because it thinks that is what you want. And if you don’t believe in the Universe mumbo jumbo, just know that your every thought creates your reality.

Whatever you focused your attention on last week has probably manifested this week and so on and so on. Don’t like what you are seeing this week? Then change your thoughts on what you want to see, so that next week you can manifest it into your reality.

And while that one component can help you tremendously, it’s not the magic spell to manifesting.  It is really about two other things that are key components to having what you envision. YOUR DESIRES MUST MATCH YOUR BELIEFS.

That’s it! You can make all the vision boards you want of the life of your dreams, but if you have some underlying belief that you don’t deserve it, then it’s never going to happen. How can it? You are not a vibrational match for it.

If you desire a new job where you are honored, respected and like the people you work with but think working sucks, you can’t stand people and you don’t think a job like that can possibly exist, well, you’re going to manifest exactly what you believe and exactly where you are vibing. More shitty jobs and more shitty co-workers who just reiterate your beliefs, will surface over and over again until you get this concept.

If you desire a relationship but you think on some level that all women are gold diggers or all men are cheaters, then well, you’re probably going to manifest people in your life that fit the bill. You can tell yourself you want to meet the love of your life all you want, but do you really believe that? Or is there some part of you that thinks it will never happen? If you think the man or woman of your dreams is out of your league, then they are always going to stay there.

Pause for a second. Look at your life. Look at the people you spend your time with. Look at your job and the people you work with. Look at your friends. Your significant other if you have one.

Do you like who you see? Because if you don’t, understand that you have manifested them into your day to day for a reason. Everyone is a mirror for you. If you don’t like someone, get out a pen and paper and write the qualities about them that turn you off.

We all know someone who is too full of themselves. It’s nothing more than a mask for deep seated insecurity, only you don’t know that if you are insecure yourself. All you do is feel bad about yourself every time you are around them, so you probably dislike them greatly.  But what you really dislike is the way it brings this up inside of you. Life is a giant mirror! What they are reflecting back to you is a part of you begging to be healed and people like this will show up in your reality until you heal it.

Once you own this in yourself and understand where this belief got its roots, whether its through therapy, self reflection or childhood regression, this person will no longer affect you. As a matter of fact, they won’t even cross your path unless of course you’re related to them. If that’s the case then you’ll probably need to put up some healthy boundaries, but it won’t be hard.

And if you want to manifest really good stuff, then try not to think about people who bother you at all, cause they’ll just keep showing up in your reality until you look within and figure out it is merely a part of yourself that is begging to be healed.

Think about people you like. People you admire. People that have qualities you want more of in your life. When you do that, all of a sudden when you look around, your life will have those types of people in it. The other terds won’t even gravitate towards you because you have not only changed your beliefs, you have changed your vibration. This is where the good stuff happens.

Manifesting 101:

1)Think about what you want and focus on that. Not what you don’t want. Don’t even give it a thought. If something negative comes up, press the delete button.

2)Your beliefs must match your desires. Repeat it. I desire…and I believe I can have it.

Do you believe you are worthy of your desires? Because if you don’t, then you will not manifest them.

I manifest all the time. Sometimes I manifest things I don’t want. When this happens I look at my thoughts. What am I thinking about? What am I bringing into my life? Do I want it? Our thoughts create our reality. And wherever your focus goes, so does your energy.

For the past several weeks I have been manifesting hair cutting jobs. I totally took my focus off of acting. I have not had one phone call or email about auditions. Not one. It’s okay, I needed to focus on hair. I have a cosmetology license and I do nothing with it. I have a vision for how I will use it, but I know I am rusty in the skill department so I signed up for classes. I have enjoyed learning but cutting hair is not my true passion. Acting is.

I finished a cutting class on Monday. Tuesday I went to work on my acting. I focused all day on it. I emailed my agents, looked at casting calls and into classes. Today I was told I am on hold for a television hosting job and another person reached out to me for a casting. The minute I changed my focus the Universe responded.

Take a moment and really think about what you want. Write it down. After you have done that, take one step towards making it happen. No matter how small. Think about this desire as often as you can without any expectations of how it will come to you. Just believe that it will.

If you don’t see results, no matter how small, then look within and ask yourself why you don’t believe it can happen. Because if you aren’t seeing results, then your desire and your belief that it can happen don’t match.

We are all powerful creators. We lose our power for many reasons. Usually it’s because other people are afraid of our power. The most effective way to disempower someone is by knocking them down.

If you have a belief that something will never happen that you truly want, then you have been disempowered by someone. Probably someone very close to you. Chances are it wasn’t intentional. The most effective way in getting your power back, is by knowing it’s missing and the only way you can know that, is to see if you are manifesting the life you dream about.

P.S. It no longer has to be a dream. Believe it!