Somewhere Over The Rainbow

One of my favorite movies of all time! We used to go to my Nanny and Gramp’s house to watch this on their color television because we only had a black and white one. Wow! I’m definitely not young, but fully embrace with grace and gratitude the age that I am. These are nice qualities to see in anyone at any age.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of watching my youngest son play football. He switched schools this year. He’s 16 and it is his 8th school. And while some people might scowl at that, I could care less. Every school has brought him on a journey that he saw somewhere over the rainbow and managed to conquer each one with passion, pride, strength and commitment. It wasn’t easy for him, but the person he is today has everything to do with chasing that rainbow.

All of my children have switched schools throughout the years because of this rainbow. I have been their biggest champion and catalyst in doing so. This is because I don’t believe in one size fits all and when I had a hard time one year in school, my father moved me. I get it! I always have! All you need is one person in your life to believe in you and you can achieve anything.

We seem to search a lot for this rainbow that we think is out there, somewhere beyond our grasp, when all we have to do is realize it’s right in front of us, we just choose to ignore it or run from it and make our journey back to ourselves so much harder than it need be.

And sometimes that journey is circuitous, but it doesn’t matter; sometimes we need that detour to show us a lesson in order to put us back on track.

As I watched him play for over 2 and a 1/2 hours, never being taken out of the game once, I felt this incredible pride and elation. I could see he was tired, but he never stopped. He pushed forward, playing the O line and Linebacker, hit his helmet a few times with his hands and powered through like a true champion. I had to give him Advil when he came home when i saw the bruises on his arms.

All he wanted to do was play football and now he does. He’s also quite brilliant and incredibly handsome and super amazingly nice. He’s the kid who I had to give dollar bills to when he commuted through New York City every day so he could give money to the homeless. Many times he gave his own lunch so that they could have food. In short, he has all the cards. I use this analogy a lot with my kids, because well, I make cards and it’s a good analogy.

They understand that not everyone has cards and that they are fortunate. They are missing a few, which has played a large part in their understanding of rainbows and how often times you wish certain people had your back, but actually don’t and therefore whatever it is you are striving for, must be done on your own volition.

The rainbow you think is elusive is merely a lie you tell yourself from taking action. When you commit to a journey and understand that it might take you out of your comfort zone for awhile but will eventually bring you to exactly where you need to be in order to fulfill your dreams, there is nothing to fear.

So you can either wait for a house to fall on an evil green witch or you can take one step today towards that future you perceive to be out there, somewhere over the rainbow, when the rainbow you are seeking, is right their in your heart and knows exactly which way to go.

Are You Willing to Gamble?

I don’t play cards to gamble, but I do make them. I don’t actually print them, but I do create the content for them.

I was recently at my sister’s home and she had a deck I had made in her kitchen. She likes to pull one and while I was there she did. I can’t remember the card she got but I like that she has them.

Most of the decks I make are inspirational or have specific messages on them. I have never made a tarot deck but have thought about it because I have collected them for awhile. I find it fascinating that people can throw cards on a table and give you a reading. I see pretty pictures and scary ones, but I don’t see the story. I could make one up; I’m pretty good at that, but most people don’t want you to do that. I don’t think anyway. I know little of the cards together, but I do have a little knowledge about what they mean separately and I find their order to be quite intertesting.

The major arcana starts with the fool. It is literally a quest that one takes in life and than it works through to the world card. The world pretty much says it all. It is when things turn in our favor, but in order to have the world to that, we have to be willing to take the fools journey, which begins with one step, or showing one card of the deck you keep so tightly guarded.

There is one card called the Queen of Cups. She is associated with love and all good things, but if you push her or challenge her in any way, she will become the Queen of Swords and cut you out. Not sure why someone would want to do that when they are being offered a cup, but some people get off on challenging others or putting them through hoops to test their loyalty and then that nice energy matches the one that is being offered and they get severed.

The tower card is a scary one. No one likes to get that one! It’s an image of people jumping out of a burning building. This tower card usually shows up when a person has let a situation go on too long and the powers that be take over and end it. It’s quite unpleasant because you essentially gave your power away and let others make choices for you. It is meant to wake you up from being asleep or unconscious.

The devil card is pretty heinous too. It generally shows up when you are dealing with some nefarious person who only has their best interest in mind. Often times it can be someone meddling in affairs where they don’t belong, like relationships between two people. There is literally a couple on the card being bound by the devil.

The strength card usually has a woman with a lion she is petting on it. She also has the infinity symbol above her head which signifies unity and the concept of limitlessness. I guess it takes a lot of strength to get to that place. I would have thought they would use a man lifting weights, but…that’s why I haven’t made a tarot deck.

One of my favorite cards is the 10 of cups. It usually shows a rainbow and a happy couple looking out over their land. This is the card of love, happy family life and prosperity. Basically having it all. But you don’t just get the 10 of cups in life, you have to start with one step in that direction. There are challenges along the way of course, which are depicted in the cards leading up to this one. The four of cups shows a person dissatisfied with everything which takes you to the five of cups where things have not gone your way or as expected. This is what happens when we try and control everything and don’t allow life to unfold naturally.

A tarot spread can change with each passing day because we all have free will and our energy changes all the time, as does our perception, wants and needs. I would go out on a limb and say gambling probably happens in the same way. If you are feeling low you are probably coming from a place of desperation and that won’t bode well for YOU in a casino or any bet you are placing.

And while analyzing tarot cards is interesting, what I find fascinating is why people don’t gamble on love more. It doesn’t cost anything to get started, but for some people, the gamble is too great. They would rather hold their cards so tight, they not only don’t show one, they show nothing at all and let opportunities for love pass them by.

I think it’s fine to hold your cards until another person proves they are worthy of your time, attention, vulnerability and trust, but at some point you gotta show a card if you want love. You have to be willing to be the fool and take that first step if you want the world to turn in your favor and have that 10 of cups.

Because if you aren’t willing to do that, you not only miss out on a chance at love and happiness, you miss out on the opportunity to share your life with someone; a person who has your back, loves you when you wake up and when you fall asleep, when you have stuff in your teeth, have a bad day, have a good one, accepts all of your quirks and mishegas and still thinks you are the cat’s pajamas!

Hold the cards or don’t…I know what I’m doing.

Love is needed now more than ever

You can’t hear this song and not feel happy. The message is pretty clear. We don’t need more money or more stuff and we certainly don’t need more problems, but what we do need, is more love. I know that sounds like something out of rainbow land, but it’s true. Love heals everything! Start with yourself and it won’t be long before you’re spending your afternoon in a museum looking at art, the one you love and maybe dancing a little. Okay, maybe not dancing, but holding hands for sure!

We done a lot of living
We working overtime
Don’t need another million
You got that goldmine
I love the way you’re livin’
‘Cause you so genuine
You got that something special
Didn’t you know?
I just need you, you, you

Met you when I was a lil’ nappy head boy
And I never put down my alto saxophone, yeah
Buckjumpin’ down on the boulevard
I couldn’t wait to blow my own horn (woo!)
It ain’t wrong for you to play along
Playing this song ’til you die, come on, come on

In this world with a lot of problems
All we need is a little loving
Thank you, thank you, oh, you make me
Thank you, thank you for your loveWe done a lot of living
We working overtime
Don’t need another million
You got that goldmine
I love the way you’re livin’ (hey)
‘Cause you’re so genuine (genuine)
You got that something special
Didn’t you know?
I just need you, you, you (come on, now!)

Met you when I was a lil’ country boy
And I never put down that pork chop and salt
Then we fell in love on the boulevard
If you was Jenny, I guess I was Forrest (run!)
Nah, it ain’t wrong for you to sing along
Singing this song ’til you die

In this world with a lot of problems
All we need is a little loving
Thank you, thank you, oh, you make me
Thank you, thank you for your love

We done a lot of living (whole lotta)
We working overtime (overtime)
Don’t need another million
You got that goldmine (goldmine)
I love the way you’re livin’
‘Cause you’re so genuine (genuine)
You got that something special
Didn’t you know?
I just need you, you, you I need you, you, you, you, you, you, you

Good Days

We’ve all been heartbroken when it comes to love relationships. When I think about the heartache I have endured, I can tell you in all honesty that I have never truly felt loved in any of mine. I always felt very lonely.

The reason for this is of no fault of the people I was with. The fault was within me. I didn’t love myself enough, therefore I always put their needs ahead of mine. When you do this, you set yourself up for a whole lot of disappointment.

I now know what real love feels like, because I learned to give it to myself. I had to. It was out of survival. The heartache of realizing that someone you are with didn’t ever really ever love you, they only loved the role you played in their life, completely breaks you down and the only thing you can do is build yourself up again.

This song talks of good days and believing in those, no matter what has happened to you in love. Just because you learn to love yourself doesn’t mean you don’t want love from someone else. It simply means you don’t need it to fulfill you and the right person will feel the same way.

I believe in good days in love. They are far more common when you connect with someone who feels the same way you do, then the bad ones. No matter what has happened between two people, if the connection and pull towards one another is there, you can overcome anything and I mean anything.

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing and sometimes it isn’t even necessary. What is necessary though, is taking a leap of faith towards love again so that you can heal. People heal one another in love. You can do all the work you want, but when all is said and done, the true test to your healing is the ability to love again.

Focus on the good days, not the bad or sad ones. It’s what I’m doing, and I can hardly wait to be with the person that the Universe is sending me for doing so.

What is it You Don’t want to Know?

We all know what we know, and while we may not be able to express it in the most perfect terms if we were to speak it, our inner compass cannot deny the truth. It is a niggling feeling that we are not being recognized for who we are or what we stand for. Not only that, we are not being heard, nor are we being respected.

The body always knows when something is off. We might feel it in our gut; a pit that grows within us until we can no longer deny it. It might come with a tenseness in the shoulders that we can no longer shrug off. Our face might get flush with heat because we feel like we are under attack. The body is always trying to alert us to when we are not honoring ourselves, but we continue to ignore it. We would rather wait until the most horrible things happen, before we acknowledge the truth of what is going on.

We would rather mistrust ourselves and our bodies and continue to serve others and their needs, than to accept the truth that they really don’t care about us and what we think, they only care about what themselves.

The reason for this, is that we don’t want to know because the truth hurts, so we stay in denial. People live lies every single day. They pretend they are happy, that they are in good relationships, that all is well in the world. Some will even pretend to be good people; self-righteous even, yet will condemn you and play the victim, if you go against them.

When those who are closest to you are the ones who deceive you, this is when you really don’t want to know, because it is a painful moment when you realize who has always been in your corner, and who has not.

Most of us will carry on and accept the unacceptable because we would rather turn a blind eye to how uncomfortable we feel, than to be alone. What is it about being alone that frightens people so much? You can be in a room with a hundred people and feel incredibly alone and you can sit with yourself and your stuff and your kids or your animals and feel like you are among an audience of a thousand. It’s all about acceptance. Who accepts you, for you?

I used to play the game. Keep the peace at all costs. It completely depleted me of everything that I was. I essentially became someone else; a shadow of others and what they wanted. My laughter, my smile, the effervescence was still there, but it lost a bit of its bubbly-ness every time I sat back and allowed others to trample over me so that they could feel better about themselves.

I don’t do this anymore. And while others might find my dismissal of people who still try to do this harsh, it is necessary in order for me to move on and be what I came here to be. I am love. I have always been love. I give love unconditionally and sometimes when you do that, you attract people who take it and give nothing in return. They are the ones who are most upset, when you know the truth.

So while you may not want to know, sometimes you really need to, in order to step into your power and live the life you were meant to, not the one someone expected of you.

Know everything! When you do, you heal yourself and you finally step into your truth.

What’s your truth? You have always been divine in nature.; perfect as you are. You just let others convince you that you weren’t.

Where the Heart is

The longer I live, the more I realize just how simple life is. And the more I come to this realization, the more I attract people who feel the same way.

Let me explain. When you let go and allow, the Universe provides. If you don’t like that lingo, then how about, when you lose the control you desperately cling to and let life lead you where it is trying to, instead of where your ego thinks it should be, life gets easier.

I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self this. I cannot even imagine how different my life would have been. I try and tell my kids this now, because I see how many young people are struggling these days with their day to day lives and their futures.

Where the heart is, is all that ever matters. And while that may sound simple or cheesy, it really is true. When you get to this place of understanding that your heart has always been trying to guide you to bliss, you allow it.

But so many of us fight it. We continue on a path of programs and conditioning and what we think we are supposed to do. We give value to things that don’t matter. We respect people because of their position in our lives instead of respecting them for what really counts.

The more I let go of things and people that have never appreciated, valued or loved me, the more I manifest. This is what honoring yourself and your choices does for you. And while letting go is not easy, it is essential, in order for you to become who you were meant to be.

People try to keep you small. I don’t believe it is intentional, but I do believe it needs to change. You might be the change maker in your family. And if you are, be thankful.

You didn’t come here to play by the rules or play small. You came here to be heard, seen and loved for who you are. And until people understand that your words, actions and emotions are coming from where the heart is, you might feel very alienated and alone, but that’s only because you haven’t met people who vibe where you do…yet.

It’s not easy to do this and you will be tested…time and time again. The Universe will ask, “How much do you value yourself?” And you have to respond.

The response is not easy, but essential. You have to be willing to let go of people who have not been kind to you. It doesn’t matter who it is, because your well being cannot be compromised. One time of dismissal is one time too many, but sometimes it takes us a few of those painful moments to understand we never meant much to a person in the first place.

This is where the healing begins. When you feel, you heal. And when you heal, this marvelous thing happens. It’s as if the Universe rewards you ten fold. You want what? Of course you can have it! How about three? I’m not kidding! People are sent to you, opportunities are sent to you, and acceptance is there as well.

It’s almost as if you climbed out of some cocoon and the world is seeing you for the first time. And perhaps it is. You… the real you. How gorgeous is that?

Embrace you heart! It is where all of life’s magic is.

Meant to Be

intended to (do or be something).

I am a big believer in what is meant to be, will be. It explains a lot why things work out and why they don’t.

Sometimes we try so hard to make something work and it simply doesn’t. We may put all of our effort into it, got to bat a thousand times, bend over backwards, forwards, and still, it won’t work.

It makes you wonder doesn’t it, why we work so hard on something that isn’t working?

When things are meant to be they are easy. I have seen this happen so many times in my life. In the past I would put effort into things and people that never rendered any type of reward. Now I only allow what is meant to be in my life, because it’s effortless and brings me joy and anything and anyone who is too much work does the exact opposite.

Learning to discern between what is meant to be and what is not is quite easy. If you see one red flag, it’s one too many and a clear sign that there will be nothing but struggle going forward. I saw more than one red flag in my romantic relationships and like many of us, chose to ignore them. You can do this for awhile, but when you have children and they notice them, this ignoring is no longer viable.

What is a red flag? A warning. It’s a pit you get in your stomach. A niggling feeling inside you that alerts you to something not being right. It’s a feeling of unease. It can show up as a lie. If a person can lie once and get away with it, they will do it again and again and again.

What is meant to be doesn’t lie because it doesn’t need to. It just is. It comes into your life for a reason and sometimes we are tested to see if we are really ready for it. A lot of us will blow this test because when you have been heartbroken, you start to distrust your inner guidance and will look outside yourself for answers, instead of within.

When you blow this test, you will be sent another lesson. It will come in the form of Pandora’s box. It might look interesting on the outside and intrigue you, but the minute you open it…yowza! Now you are in another toxic cycle wondering not only how you got there again, but more importantly, how do you get out.

The way out is by trusting yourself. Trusting that inner voice, that inner guidance. In order to hear this inner voice, you have to get quiet. Going in nature can do this, meditating, the beach. You need time to just be. When you close out all the noise, you hear what your soul is calling you to do and not what others are telling you to do.

This is where you become centered/balanced. This is where you take action from. This is where what is meant to be will come to you as though you simply plucked it from a tree, like it was sitting there all along, waiting for you to discover it. And it probably was!

If it’s meant to be, it’ll be, it’ll be
Baby, just let it be

Let what is meant to be, just be. When you stop trying to control outcomes and just allow life to unfold in the most miraculous way, what is meant to be cannot escape you.

Are You a Track Star?

As you travel along in life and meet people on your journey, your relationship with them will have a great deal to do with your past experiences. So you will either have healthy relationships with people or unhealthy ones, depending on how much you reflect on why things have not worked out for you in the past.

There are those who will try and conquer the sadness and heartache by getting back out there as soon as they can without a moment to reflect. This is a person who needs to fill a void in their life. They can’t be alone. People who can’t be alone attract other people who can’t be alone and its the perfect cocktail for co-dependence. If that’s your bag, that’s your bag. Eventually that bag will get too heavy to carry and you’ll have to face yourself, but until that happens, enjoy all that baggage.

Others of us will fend off men or women for the rest of our lives. We might become hermit-ish or monk-like, reading books all the time and being perfectly content with not talking to anyone.

Then there’s the star. The one who shines brightly despite all of the battles they have endured. They have lived through some real tough lessons, know their worth and are willing to give someone else a chance, but they aren’t going to actively pursue any avenues to make it happen. They just know it will.

Some of us will throw ourselves into work. We will take on extra projects, maybe even pick up a second job and only associate with people we work with. We make sure we are so busy making coin, we don’t have any time to enjoy it. We just keep saving for a future, but we don’t give ourselves the opportunity to even think about it.

Then there’s the track star. This is the person who has been wounded so deeply, whenever they meet someone they like, they run as fast as they can the other way. If you say that out loud it sounds utterly insane. “I like this person, so I am going to run away from them.” I personally can’t imagine doing this even after all of the garbage I have been through, but to each his own.

I’m a person who likes to reflect. Not on why a relationship didn’t work, but how I attracted it in the first place. There’s a lot of digging that goes on with this, but once you get to the bottom of the pit, you hit gold and can start to rebuild yourself and come back stronger.

You won’t find me on the dating websites. It’s not my style. I’m too busy with work, raising my son and being a good mother to my other two to give a website other than my own any attention. I’m perfectly fine being somewhere between the hermit and the star. I don’t mind being alone, but every now and then I like having all of the attention, which is why I act.

I can essentially give myself anything someone else could give me, so unless someone is bringing more to the table than a fork, I’m gonna eat alone or with my son and the cast of whatever production I am on.

Wherever you are at on your journey will have everything to do with your past. Have you handed over your future because of your pain or have you reflected on why things happened and made room for new love to come in?

If you’re the track star, then you need to ask yourself, what is it you are really running from because if it is love that you seek, eventually you’ll turn around and see that you are the only one in the race.

You’re Beautiful!

There is a whole lot of pain in the world right now. People are being judged for making personal choices and our world seems to be more divided than ever before.

The great divide we face now are those who are vaccinated and those who are not. If you have been vaccinated, please know that blaming, shaming and pressuring people for not following your path is not love, it’s bullying. Love is selfless. Love does not dare try and dictate how others should live; it simply is.

If you break up with someone during this time because of your difference of opinion on this, then just know you had a bigger problem than this going into the relationship. Love doesn’t care if someone makes a different choice, it honors it.

You may be someone who is trying hard to stand your ground, stay in your integrity and is having it questioned at every turn. You may have been called crazy, paranoid, a conspiracy theorist, an anti-vaxxer even, just because you are empowering yourself to have a different opinion. This name calling is the sort of thing that happened in grade school by the class bully.

You may feel so alone in your choices, that you have moments of utter despair. You may feel as though you won’t get to travel, that you will be excluded from family gatherings, lose jobs, lose friends and be gossiped about. And all of this is simply because you are choosing to follow your inner guidance instead of what others are telling you to do.

This post is to remind you of how beautiful you are. Your choices and opinions are yours and should never be questioned or doubted by anyone, let alone be coerced out of you. The fact that people are doing this to one another is atrocious and a very clear indicator that they are holding an unhealed wound around fear.

Their fear is not your fear, nor is it your problem. When people come from this place of fear they become extremely judgemental. Judgement is not love. It feels nothing like love. In fact, it feels horrible.

If you are currently being bullied, judged or feeling as though you are being ignored by those who say they care about you because of a personal choice you are making, I’m here to remind you of how beautiful you are in choosing to be you and empowering yourself to make choices that you feel are best for you, not others.

You get to choose! You are beautiful no matter what that choice is and so are those who are choosing otherwise.

But those individuals who continue to blame, shame and judge people for having a difference of opinion, should be ashamed of themselves and perhaps need to remember when they were bullied and how awful it felt.

Fade

With every step you take forward, the further the past slips away, right? Especially if you are trying to escape it. Like a person fleeing the scene of a crime, hoping no one catches them. But are you really letting the past fade or are you only perpetuating it by doing this?

I have always found it interesting when people say everything heals in time, like time has anything at all to do with your healing. If you are one of those people who think that time can heal you, then you probably aren’t healed at all.

You heal you! Time has nothing to do with it. Because if you are a person who had something horrible happen to you and you did nothing with all of that pain, then you are no doubt still holding onto that pain and no amount of time is every going to change that. You have to.

Days can pass, years even, and if you have not done any work on yourself, I bet you can pull up those horrible memories in a millisecond and relive them like they happened to you yesterday. The memories might fade a bit, but you are still attracting situations and people that will trigger this wound. This is a clear indicator that it’s not that enough time hasn’t passed, it’s you passing on doing the work necessary to heal.

We would all like to have bad situations and pain fade away as though nothing ever happened, but if we simply stick our heads in the sand and stuff all that stuff down inside, we will only attract these situations and people again. But far worse.

Healing is not easy. It can often be a struggle or at least feel like one. It can also feel like an injustice has been done on you, especially when you see those who hurt you carry on as though nothing ever happened, or play the victim, which is far worse.

Time is not going to take all of those feelings you have of being betrayed, dishonored and discarded and make it all better for you. You have to allow yourself to feel it all. Feeling is healing. I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s true. If you don’t feel what you feel, then how do you know when you don’t feel it anymore?

When you go within and figure out how you attracted certain situations and people in the first place, this is when the healing begins. So you can kid yourself all you want into thinking this time next year will be so much better than it is right now without doing one bit of work on yourself, or you can start each day with a commitment to healing yourself.

People who empower others start by empowering themselves. The only way you can get to this place of empowerment though, is by loving yourself unconditionally. This means you accept every aspect of yourself and become so committed to being authentic, that nothing and no one can bother you. This is true freedom and the most empowering state to be in.

If you are a person who has a story (we all do), then tell it. Don’t let your words of wisdom and encouragement fade into the background, like it never happened. Share your journey with others. Time is not the great healer; humans sharing their love with one another is.