When we wish for something it implies that we do not yet have it.
But why is that?
Do we think that what we want is out of our grasp? That it might take a miracle to receive it? Or de we feel that we have no control over getting it? We might think it depends on someone else for us to get it.
All of those perceptions are ways we disempower ourselves. When we give power to something or someone outside of ourselves we literally give up on what we want.
The only person who can ever go about getting those things you are wishing on a star for, is you. And I realized this after a long and arduous battle with myself and my limiting beliefs.
Last year I was having a great year with acting. I called it a great year; others wouldn’t agree because some people see wins through a small lens while I seem them differently.
A win in my world is an audition. A big win is a callback. A stellar win is being held or pinned for the job. The booking? That’s just the cherry on top! The wins start the minute you are recognized for your talent.
Don’t get me wrong, you also feel the losses when you get so close.
Imagine the roller coaster known as being an actor. You’re as high as you can possibly get, when you are told that you are pinned for a new show in a co-starring role. Then all of a sudden without warning, you’re thrown over the side and land on your face and wind up picking cotton candy and old popcorn out of your hair, wondering what the hell went wrong.
You ask yourself a hundred questions and none of them do anything but make you feel worse about yourself. Because in the end you have absolutely no power over if you get the job or you don’t. It’s nothing more than someone else deciding if you fit their vision for the part you are going for. That’s it!
That was just one of the many scenarios that brought up all of my “not being good enough” triggers. I was wishing on a star every damn day, but had absolutely no power over pulling that star in and making it my own.
To top it off, I had a manager who had her own issues of wanting to be seen and recognized. One time I was one of 50 actors picked out of 16,000 people who auditioned, to have an interview with a famous casting director. Before she gave me this amazing news, she marred it by writing three paragraphs about how I wasn’t emailing her enough or keeping her in the loop with everything I did.
All of it was so defeating and just made me feel bad about myself instead of good. But when you rely on others to look out for you who are running their own programs of not being good enough or needing control, you aren’t going to reach a star, let alone become one.
After two more incidents with her and bookings that wound up being more work on my end, then what I was being paid, I said goodbye. It was then that I realized it wasn’t about the money at all, it was about how much effort was being asked of me and how little was being given back.
Our empowerment and our ability to reach for the stars and grab them, comes from this knowing. Do not accept less than what you are giving and if you aren’t giving enough, then don’t expect others to keep playing by your rules.
Now, go ahead and reach for those stars!