What are You Wishing for?

When we wish for something it implies that we do not yet have it.

But why is that?

Do we think that what we want is out of our grasp? That it might take a miracle to receive it? Or de we feel that we have no control over getting it? We might think it depends on someone else for us to get it.

All of those perceptions are ways we disempower ourselves. When we give power to something or someone outside of ourselves we literally give up on what we want.

The only person who can ever go about getting those things you are wishing on a star for, is you. And I realized this after a long and arduous battle with myself and my limiting beliefs.

Last year I was having a great year with acting. I called it a great year; others wouldn’t agree because some people see wins through a small lens while I seem them differently.

A win in my world is an audition. A big win is a callback. A stellar win is being held or pinned for the job. The booking? That’s just the cherry on top! The wins start the minute you are recognized for your talent.

Don’t get me wrong, you also feel the losses when you get so close.

Imagine the roller coaster known as being an actor. You’re as high as you can possibly get, when you are told that you are pinned for a new show in a co-starring role. Then all of a sudden without warning, you’re thrown over the side and land on your face and wind up picking cotton candy and old popcorn out of your hair, wondering what the hell went wrong.

You ask yourself a hundred questions and none of them do anything but make you feel worse about yourself. Because in the end you have absolutely no power over if you get the job or you don’t. It’s nothing more than someone else deciding if you fit their vision for the part you are going for. That’s it!

That was just one of the many scenarios that brought up all of my “not being good enough” triggers. I was wishing on a star every damn day, but had absolutely no power over pulling that star in and making it my own.

To top it off, I had a manager who had her own issues of wanting to be seen and recognized. One time I was one of 50 actors picked out of 16,000 people who auditioned, to have an interview with a famous casting director. Before she gave me this amazing news, she marred it by writing three paragraphs about how I wasn’t emailing her enough or keeping her in the loop with everything I did.

All of it was so defeating and just made me feel bad about myself instead of good. But when you rely on others to look out for you who are running their own programs of not being good enough or needing control, you aren’t going to reach a star, let alone become one.

After two more incidents with her and bookings that wound up being more work on my end, then what I was being paid, I said goodbye. It was then that I realized it wasn’t about the money at all, it was about how much effort was being asked of me and how little was being given back.

Our empowerment and our ability to reach for the stars and grab them, comes from this knowing. Do not accept less than what you are giving and if you aren’t giving enough, then don’t expect others to keep playing by your rules.

Now, go ahead and reach for those stars!


I love the message in this song. Please listen to it.

It is true that wherever our focus goes, our energy flows, but let’s break that down so that we really understand what that means.

You might be thinking about money all of the time. How do I make more? How do I keep it? But then your thoughts probably turn rather quickly to the negative ones.

How come I don’t have enough? How come I barely make enough? Why do things cost so much? How come everyone else seems to have more?

The same thing can be said about love. I will meet someone soon; it’s inevitable. I have a lot to offer and the right person will come into my life when it’s the right time. Why haven’t I met this person yet? How come he has someone? Why am I alone?

We are bombarded by our thoughts about 2100 times an hour. They can go from really happy ones to angry ones pretty quickly, especially when we are thinking about things we want that we don’t have yet.

But it’s not really our thoughts that are the problem here. The song is partially right. It is our beliefs. What we hold inside of us that makes our reality our reality.

Make a list with positive written on one side and negative written on the other. For one week see how many times the topic of money or love or whatever it is you are wanting comes up. Write down how you feel when it is being talked about, what you are doing and who you are with. It will be pretty clear where, who and what you need to be doing more of, to get what you want.

You might even discover you are doing healthy things when you feel positive and may be drinking when feeling negative. When you’re sad you might call certain people and when you are happy and want to share news, you call someone else. It’s fine to have negative people in your life if you can’t avoid it, just set some boundaries with them so they don’t bring your energy to their level.

We cannot change things overnight, but this is a good start. Even if you did, you wouldn’t change the underlying problems, which are your beliefs, which is why so many people will win the lottery or inherit a bunch of money and go broke shortly afterwards. This is also why people are in bad relationships, leave them only to discover they are in another bad relationship, maybe even worse.

Your beliefs are your inner driver and the reason you do everything you do. This is your subconscious (meaning you are not consciously aware of these beliefs) mind playing out the programs you were raised to believe.

There are several free videos on line that can help you do this. Make sure you see the ones by Robert Smith, as he is a master at Faster Eft. I tend to learn from people who have done the work themselves. It’s more authentic when you see the change in someone else.

Anything you are unhappy with in your life can be changed if you change your beliefs. This is where your thoughts change for the better and then your energy does too. You start to become a vibrational match for what you really want and can be very intentional about getting it.

Need You To Be You 100%

I’m sure you have heard the term “reinvent yourself”

But what if we don’t really reinvent ourselves at all? What if we just become who we were meant to be?

We all grow up in different environments with people who are running programs from the way they were raised. If you’re lucky, you had a parent like I did who wanted to do better.

My mother was never given a voice as a child and so she decided to raise my brother and sister and I with one. She listened to everything we said. And still does! My father just did what she said because he loved her and worked all the time.

This worked for awhile and when I tell you I had no problems as a kid, I mean it. The problems started when my parents divorced and married other people who brought their own programs into the dynamic.

My Eutaptics coach, Ilka is baffled by this. Most people have trauma early on, but not me. My troubles didn’t start until I lived with people who had deep wounds. I didn’t know they did, I was just a kid trying to navigate her way through a divorce from two people who seemed to love one another and found herself having to deal with two adults who were threatened by me and my very existence.

Sometimes I can’t believe I lived through it. I suffered emotional and mental abuse and consequently feelings of deep abandonment because neither parent put me first. I was put to the backseat while their new partners were given the front.

Every day of my high school years I was in survival mode. I drank and smoked pot while driving, gained 20 pounds to get attention because I learned that when I shined others felt their shine was diminished. I stopped being me, but found that I could still get my father’s attention by being fat. He made jokes all the time to his skinny new wife and her kid at my expense.

Consequently, I looked for love from anyone who would give it to me in my twenties and thirties. I made horrible choices in relationships and always attracted the same type of guy. You know the one! Seems to have it all together but doesn’t even know how to love themselves, so they can’t possibly love you.

It was’t until I was well into adulthood that I started to see what all of the damage had done to me. All of the garbage that I had been fed for three years by people who didn’t know how to love themselves, let alone a teenage girl who was nothing more than a nuisance and a threat to their new beginnings with someone else.

Sadly, their limiting beliefs had become my own. I realize this now due to the inner work I’ve done, which is why I have no hatred or hard feelings towards anyone. it just is what it is and that’s okay.

Which makes me wonder, who are we without other people’s shit? I think we are who we were meant to be.

My message for you today is this: You need to be 100%! All the time and every minute of the damn day! If you are anything less, than you are settling for all of the garbage that was fed to you, too.

Reinvent or rebirth? I say neither. Just do you! You’ve done what everyone else has wanted thus far. How’s that working for you?

Give yourself and the world 100% and see where that takes you!