Water Under the Bridge

I find it interesting how some people don’t understand this term. It literally means things are over, in the past, and there is absolute no need to revisit it.

But why oh why can’t some folks get this? I’ll tell you why. Because they haven’t healed their wounds. They have identified with their past so much and all of the programs that were running there, they don’t know how to break free, so they just keep repeating the same old shit. They may even hate elements of their past and the way the people in it made them feel, yet they still refuse to leave it…in the past.

Often times the past wasn’t just some water under a bridge, it was full of turbulence. Tidal waves and maybe even tsunamis took over the bridge and broke it into little bits. Not exactly waters you want to be near, yet everyday there are people who refuse to move on from the catastrophe known as the past.

They hold onto past feelings, past hurts, past ideas, past influences, past programs, past patterns, past garbage and think that they are living an authentic and happy life. That’s not even logical. It’s coo coo ville thinking. “Let me bring all of the bad stuff into my life that never served me, cause I don’t know how to put it behind me once and for all and get off the damn bridge.”

It’s a dysfunction of the worst kind. The sad part is knowing someone like this and watching them do it to themselves over and over again. The ludicrous part, is that they don’t even realize there is no one standing on the bridge with them anymore. They are alone, paralyzed with fear and lost in an inability to make a decision. While others in their life heal, move on, and don’t care to revisit people and situations that were full of emptiness.

Life is full. It’s brilliant and lovely and should be enjoyed every single day, not lived in torment about what to do and what to say and if you are pissing someone off because you speak your truth. In fact, that’s not living at all. It’s a form of self imprisonment and it is completely and utterly disempowering.

So if the life you want is one of freedom, abundance and love, then you have to be brave enough to get off the bridge. You walk across it and leave all of that toxic shit behind you once and for all. Unless of course you like to suffer.

Because if you keep revisiting the past and all of it’s dysfunction, guess what you bring into your future? More of the same!

Because from where I’m standing, I don’t even see a bridge and it’s such an amazing view.

Change

One of the hardest lessons we learn in life, is that you cannot change people. We might try and then lose ourselves in the process.

We may give second and third chances even; hoping and praying that they will finally understand, finally get what we are giving. And yet they still don’t, no matter how pure our love is.

And so we are left heartbroken.

What do we do with that pain? We go within. We ask the questions, and not the typical ones you think of. We are awake and conscious, so we ask different ones. Ones that help us move on and empower us, so that we never do this again, never invest in someone who is not as invested in us.

We ask: Why are we bothered by someone who doesn’t feel the same way we do? Why are we taking it so personally? Why are we trying to change someone to see things our way, when there are people out there who already do? Why are we giving our precious energy away? Why are we accepting less than what we know we are worth?

The answer to all of those questions, sadly, is that we are seeking outside of ourselves for validation, rather than within. Our value as a person never comes from someone else, yet so many of us seek it from other people, instead of finding it within ourselves.

So we always end up in the same place with the same types of people when we operate from this disempowering level. Wanting.

Whatever we believe to be true about ourselves is exactly what we attract into our lives. In every single area of it.

You can try and change the person you are with all you want, but the one thing, the only thing that you can change, is yourself.

If you find yourself in a relationship that is challenging, just know that you cannot change them. But you can empower yourself to change how you respond to them.

You were a vibrational match to this person before you started to awaken and work on yourself. When you get to work on your stuff and your person doesn’t, there will be a huge disconnect.

This stuff is hard. It hurts. Your heart breaks and you mourn the loss of something you thought you had. But what you are really mourning, if we are being honest, is the loss of your time invested in something or someone who wasn’t as invested as you were.

You can talk to them and try to tell them what is going on, and maybe the changes you have made on yourself will inspire them to want to change as well. But if not, please know that your value, your shine comes from you, not them and once you understand this, you’ll never settle again.

Keep shining! Don’t stop for someone else. And don’t try and get them to see how bright their shine can be either. That’s on them, not you. Change is an inside job and some people don’t want to do it.

Make It Rain

How do we make it rain?

We find our confidence, our inner fire, our drive, our passion and we don’t let anyone get in our way. We learn to discern between those who have our backs, and those who have a knife in it. (Metaphorically speaking of course).

Life is supposed to be easy, but so many of us make it harder than it has to be. We fight ourselves, yet say we are fighting others because it’s easier to play the blame game than take accountability.

In actuality there is nothing to fight at all, except when we are denied our truth when we try to speak it, but are ignored. That is something to go to battle for.

We always know what is best for ourselves, yet we question it over and over again, and deny our instincts, our inner voice and our bodies and how it tries to alert us to an untruth, over the voices of others.

We do this because we don’t believe in ourselves. We have been broken down and conditioned to think that our truth and our words don’t matter, but those of the people who try and keep us down and disempowered do.

It’s time we as a collective take accountability to where we are in life, who we have let disempower us and say once and for all, “I know my truth and your tactics no longer work.”

Find the confidence, love yourself, and watch it rain all over you!