I have mentioned that my son plays football in previous posts. Friday I took him to a new trainer. Obviously playing football for fun and making it your entire focus are two different things.

This trainer was an hour from our house. It seems as though everything football oriented is over and hour from our house. The traffic can make it more and usually does.

In the past I would have complained about this. I’m not a fan of getting on the highway or driving, which is why I like big cities where I can walk…or the south where I can ride a bike. I will most definitely live in one of these places when he is done with school; the city might come sooner if the commute gets to be too much for him next year. But since I have been focusing less on outcomes and more on the present moment, he is happy here, so this is where we stay.

When I am not focused on me, I am focused on him. What is it he requires? Gain more weight; make more food. Workout more; take him to the gym. Getting more sleep; wake from my slumber to get him off his computer, which happens to be his only form of a social life due to football. Most days are spent trying to help him reach his goal. Which is easy for me to do, because it’s something I do for myself now and we all need someone in our corner.

So when a guy knows a guy who lives out somewhere near us and not in Jersey, I agreed to take him. I didn’t even think twice about driving to the middle of nowhere! We laughed, shared stories and he even confided in me about one of his friends having a problem and how he was trying to help her.

I enjoyed every minute of being with him; even when he played his music, which I struggle to like sometimes. We even got stuck in traffic but I was so focused on listening to him and seeing how insightful he is, I had a great time.

I share this story with you because I heard this song this morning and it reminded me of another key theme to manifesting. When you have complete trust in the Universe and allow it to bring you what you need instead of chasing after it, things just start to happen for the better. Life gets easier instead of harder.

One coach leads to another coach which leads to something else; something better. Everything aligns so seamlessly, without you even having to do anything. It appears to be simply “gifted” to you.

The auditions have been rolling in for me; really fun ones too, more me. I’ve been selling my cards on all platforms without doing any advertising and I know this has nothing to do with me doing anything. It has everything to do with me doing nothing.

This energy of allowing instead of controlling is paramount to manifesting. When you put something into action that you really want, you are showing the powers that be that you are committed to it. No matter how much you are tested, you stay the course. You keep doing the inner work every time you are tested and you learn to discern very quickly. When you get to this place of inner peace, you are rewarded. It is the tic before the boom.

So if you want to see fireworks in your life, embrace all of the moments throughout the day. Focus on what you have instead of what you have lost and do not give your energy (attention) to anything or anyone who tries to take you back there.

Before you know it, you will be amazed at how seamless life can be. Surrender to what is instead of trying to make it something it is not or ever will be.

I insist on being a part of the journey my son is on, because I want to be there when he makes it to his destination. There will be people along your journey that are not meant to be a part of your destination. It’s okay. We all have our own paths. Don’t try to make someone walk yours with you if they don’t want to or simply can’t. This is one of the main reasons you will not manifest what you want. Your energy is scattered and going backwards instead of forwards.

Find inner peace, stay present and don’t allow anyone to mess with your vibe. If you can do this…Boom! You will be a manifesting magnet.

Too Much Too Late

Have you ever been so driven and focused that you dismiss people in your life, thinking they will always be there, so there is no need to stress over your relationship or lack of one with them?

When I was growing up my father worked all the time. I remember him coming home from work on my birthday, eating some cake and then going back to work. I know that he was trying to do right by all of us and his way of doing that was by bringing home money since he grew up without it, but as a kid I only knew he was’t there most of the time.

As the years passed this pattern stayed with him and moments shared with my father were even rarer. When he did give you his time it was something you cherished and coveted, making him or what we thought was him so special.

But he wasn’t special. He was a man who did what he wanted, without thinking about how it effected anyone else. My mother tired of his inability to be there emotionally and asked for a divorce. I never understood how he let that happen since he always said she was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Within a short time he married a woman who lacked the same emotional connection he did, tolerated my siblings and I and eventually convinced my father that life was easier for her, without us in it. I guess they shared the same obsession with money because I must have heard a thousand times, “You can always tell the people with money.”

Since I was not taught the value of money and only saw it as a means that ruined families or something that was evil, like I didn’t want to be one of those people my step mother talked about, I spent it as fast as I could get it.

I’ve been on my own financially since the day after high school. I ate potatoes or popcorn for dinner if I ate at all, and lived for the cafeteria meal at the Marriott I worked at or happy hours where they had free buffets because I was too broke to pay for food.

I had a lot of fun, but money….I didn’t give a crap about it. I only needed a few bucks to go out, so I made sure I had that and didn’t worry about much else. I lived this way for a long time and I was just fine. Happy even. I was surrounded by people I loved, who loved me back and we laughed at how broke we were.

I have had money, lost it, found it again, worked like a dog for it and bought whatever I wanted. I know the value of money, I’m not a dope. But I know the value of good relationships more, especially since I have experienced really bad ones.

Money is important but it should never define who we are. Money is merely paper, yet people give it so much power. I have met people who use their money to control others, people who look down their nose on those they perceive as less than because they are waiting on them or cleaning for them and even some who have all the bells and whistles that money can buy and they don’t enjoy any of it.

Nobody likes to be controlled, but if money is your driving force, then you are already controlled and have probably let relationships fall to the wayside that would have fulfilled you far more than that dollar in your pocket ever will.

Money is great, but relationships are far better. If you have a good one, you have a partner for life and someone who will be with you even if you don’t have money, because a healthy relationship isn’t built on what you acquire, it’s built on trust, respect and honor.

I rarely speak to my father. It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because I find the conversation unfulfilling and he is always in a hurry to get off the phone. He has never changed, I gather he never will at this point and me expecting him to only brings disappointment. I would not say it is too late for us because he’s my dad.

But for anyone else who has not seen my value and thought that something over there was more important, it is far too late and I can’t be bothered.

The choices we make define our lives. Money will give you more choices, but it won’t do much else.

Losing It

There are moments in life when we all feel like we are losing it. We become so angry and upset with a person or situation that we just want to go off on somebody.

What causes this? The way it makes us feel absolutely and utterly powerless, especially if you are a person who follows the rules, is goal oriented, honest, is kind to others and tries to do the right thing.

When we feel as though someone else holds the key to our future or our happiness, we feel out of control, which creates extreme frustration. But is this true? Is it possible to be out of control of our own lives?

The answer is no and while we may not like that answer, it is the truth. We all make choices and choices have consequences. Sometimes our choices aren’t very good ones and well, we might now be looking at those choices and not be very happy with them.

I find in life that there are generally two choices in front of us. It’s like looking at places to live. One apartment might have a large bedroom with a bathroom midway between it and the kitchen but there is absolutely no closet space. The other one has a bedroom you might be able to fit a bed in and not much else, there is tons of closet space for all your shoes, the bathroom is in the kitchen, but the rent is 400.00 less a month. Which one do you pick? Of course you take the one with the closets! Don’t you?

Anyway, you move in and you realize all that closet space doesn’t matter because you can hear anyone who comes over in your bathroom. Pretty soon you don’t invite anyone anymore because you are learning more about people than you wanted to. And forget about your appetite! Sure, you’ve lost weight, but you are wondering if you will ever eat again…at least not in your apartment.

So you get upset. You have signed a lease…for a year. Now you hate the place and can’t imagine staying there another minute, let alone a whole freaking year! You might call the landlord and complain. He doesn’t care, he’s already got your lease and your two months deposit. You feel angered by this. You yell at him because it’s all his fault and then you call your mother and yell at her too. Somehow it’s her fault too! Mothers get blamed for everything!

Eventually you scream at the top of your lungs to God, the Universe, whatever the heck you believe in at how cruel they are for doing this to you. Then you write letters to every person who has ever upset you and cry yourself to sleep on the floor of your crappy apartment with an empty bottle of wine next to you.

Once you’ve released those feelings of anger, frustration, exasperation, annoyance, discontent and distress, you wake up the next day and realize it’s really no big deal after all. It’s just an apartment! An apartment with amazing closet space! You didn’t even have to get rid of any of your shoes!

You go out and buy some flowers, an air purifier that makes noise and a new bottle of wine with all that extra money you saved. You’ll be damned if you lose that great closet space!

The greatest tool we have against feeling powerless, is knowing that we have more power than we could ever know. Sometimes it takes hitting a wall really hard, to discover just how quickly you can bounce off of it.

We all make mistakes or what appear to be mistakes, but they’re not. We are always making choices and choosing paths to exactly where we need to be, in order to learn the lessons in life that we are here to learn.

The ultimate one of course, is to love the self. So if you currently find yourself in a situation where you are losing it, understand that you were brought there for a reason. Take a deep breath, focus on the good that has come of it and if you can’t think of anything, let be remind you…look at how much you have grown, how much you have learned and how little you will tolerate anyone or anything that doesn’t see your value.

This is progress! It may not look like it, but the fact that you are feeling like you are losing it, is telling you that you have arrived.

Congratulations! From this point on you will never give your power away again.

Fire On Fire

To anyone who has ever questioned their self worth or thought they were not worthy of real love, this song was written for you.

You gotta love Sam Smith! Interesting that his last name is Smith, because he certainly is a word-smith.

It is amazing what love can do for us, which is why it is so astonishing that so many of us block it out of our lives. Often times it is standing right in front of us, but if it doesn’t measure up to our picture of it or ideal, we push it away and deny ourselves one of the most beautiful and profound emotions we will ever know.

And what of that ideal? I’ve had it myself. Often times the perfect picture winds up being a perfect disaster and this is where we find ourselves at fault. We can only ever attract into our lives what we believe about ourselves, so what do the people in your life say about you?

We do this because of our past. We live so much in our past, that we deny ourselves a future. I get it. I mean, if you have been hurt, the last thing you want to do is open your heart up to someone else.

Actually, I don’t get it at all. I have opened my heart more than a thoracic surgeon does and I’m still here. I’m not just here, I’m thriving. And that’s because I refuse to be a prisoner of my past.

Why on earth would I give my power over to something that already happened? Why would I give it over to a future that hasn’t occurred? It makes no sense and if you can see it that logically and understand that this moment, right here, right now is all that you have, then you are perfectly fine.

There really is nothing to be afraid of, except our imaginations, which is why mine is filled with dreams and things I desire, instead of things that scare me.

There really is nothing to be frightful of! Maybe wind. Wind scares me, and there is a whole heck of a lot of it outside right now.