a doorway.

When my middle son was looking at choices for colleges it was clear to me which was the best option for him. But being that I am the type of mom who likes my children to empower themselves and make their own choices, I said nothing.

Until he was struggling with the doors he had in front of him. So many of the doors were gilded and full of shit, while others weren’t as fancy but would provide a fine experience for him.

Then there was the one door that had been wide open the moment he started the process. They gave him the highest scholarship, was the first one to want him, and sent him all kinds of school rah rah trying to get him to commit. But he wasn’t feeling it.

In fact, he closed the door. Pursued other doors. He took himself on this exhausting trip of not feeling good enough until finally, I showed him the door again. The one that was decorated in rainbows, throwing dollar bills at him and welcoming him with open arms.

“This is a door that wants you.” I said. “All you have to do is walk through it.” And so he did. Sight unseen, he will be attending the Kelley Business School in the fall.

Life is filled with doors. There are those doors with bright colors and ornate handles that we walk through, thinking all of the glory in the world will be on the other side of it, only to find that it was nothing more than a facade. Not only was it a facade, it wasn’t even wood, that shit was particle board.

So you try another door. A little more solid looking. It’s painted white, seemingly stable, but you walk through that door and the crazy is rampant. It hid all of it’s dysfunction, pretended to be something else and you’re running for the exit.

Then there’s the door that was open. It was welcoming, maybe even pursued you, sort of out of left field, and yet you looked at that door and thought, “It’s too easy.” “There must be something wrong with it.” “What’s the catch?” “I’m not ready for this.” “I don’t want it.”

So you slammed that door and left all that it had to offer. Now after visiting all of the other doors, you are thinking back on that door and wondering why you didn’t walk through it. Maybe you’re even wondering if it’s still possible to do so. How do you walk through a door that you previously slammed?

The answer is, you just do! You can always revisit a door you chose to close at one time. Remember…you are the one who chose to do so, so in order to revisit that door, you have to approach it, ring the bell, pound on it, whatever you do when you go to a door, just do that and witness the door re-opening to you.

Do we really need to open a thousand knobs in order to get to a place of knowing what serves our highest good? Well, if you’re one of those, then keep knocking, I like walking through doors, because the more doors I walk through, the more opportunities I get.

It’s pretty simple and need not be complicated. It’s a door. Simply approach the fucking thing. And don’t tell me fear is keeping you from it. That’s bunk! I face doors everyday. I simply buzz the door, turn the knob and show up because it brings me joy.

I am not afraid of rejection because there is no such thing. A door that was previously opened to you can never be fully closed. Unless of course you keep it that way.  A door that was previously closed to you can always be opened, but sometimes we need it to be cracked just a bit so we know it’s okay to approach it again.

Doors are awesome! I took photos of them in Paris because they were so unique. We are all doors really. It’s the face we show the world. Hopefully your door reflects who you are internally, and if it doesn’t, do some repairs, it’s not someone else’s job to fix you.

And if you’re good, keeping walking through the doors that inspire you and make you happy. Slam the ones that’s don’t.







Have you ever asked yourself why?

Why didn’t I do this? Why didn’t I do that? Why do I always act this way?

It’s a really bad question and one that will lead you down a dark path of regret.

But the answer to your why is actually pretty simple. You didn’t. You just plain didn’t.

That’s it! Once you realize this, you understand that your entire life is of your making. You are and have always been in the drivers seat and to think otherwise is completely disempowering. So if you don’t like how your life looks, you have to change your programming.

If you are still asking why you didn’t take that job you were offered and wound up taking something else that you hate, you clearly aren’t living in the present or realizing that everything and everyone around you is a mere  reflection of how you feel about yourself. So this job or that job really won’t make a difference, until you fix the shit inside of you that keeps attracting the same shitty jobs.

If you keep asking yourself why you turned down one person to date another and are now sitting alone or across from the person you thought would bring you happiness, then the person you turned down is blessed to be without you. This is because you are still looking outside of yourself for someone else to fill the gaping whole inside of you and no one should be tasked with that job. No matter who you date, it will always be the same person, different face, until you work on yourself.

If  you are still asking why you didn’t speak up or tell your truth when you were given the opportunity, then you are still living a life with restrictions and are under the control of someone else. You are still thinking that it matters more about what others think than what you do. Grow a set!

If you are still asking why about anything at this point, then you haven’t looked within. All answers are there, you just have to be willing to stop blaming others for your pain and understand we can only ever attract into our lives how we feel about ourselves internally.

Leave the why for kids-they deserve to ask it. And when they do, I hope you have a better answer than, “I’m the parent, that’s why.”