Fate/Destiny and Your Big Day

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My sister and her husband called me this morning to wish me happy birthday (it’s a tradition where we sing to one another). She told me that I was fair of face since I was born on a Monday. I guess I’m pretty pale, but I’m also a Pisces and certainly not a fish. Although my skin does tend to get a little scaly when I have been in water too long.

When I hung up the phone, I wondered if our birthdays determine who we are and what we become, like we somehow have no control over it, despite our best attempts at trying to.

I was born on March 2, at 5:04pm in Saginaw, Michigan. I’ve had astrology charts done before but it’s like reading hieroglyphics and doesn’t mean a hill of beans to me, except that I am a Pisces sun, Leo rising and Scorpio moon.

Pisces sun means I am categorically an escapist and an addict. I don’t think of myself as Houdini, but I don’t have any problem living in my head where I create worlds that will later be written down and hopefully made into something. I don’t do drugs, but I do drink copious amounts of liquor, so the jury is out on that one.

On the upside, I am generous, positive and compassionate and highly sensitive, which means I usually know when you are bothered before you do.

Leo rising means I like attention and I am vain. I guess that’s true, but not in a narcissistic way. My dad was the one who told me, “The only thing worse than vanity, is none at all.” They are also stable and loyal, which I am, so I guess I have to own this.

Scorpio moon. Hmmm…I do love my independence (almost to a fault) and I am very passionate about… well my passions. I’ve never stung anyone though, but I’m sure my words have, so this one is true as well.

I’ve also had a human design chart done by the woman that I do Faster EFT with. It’s really out there but I have to tell you, so accurate. According to that thing I’m not supposed to go after anything, I am supposed to wait for opportunities to find me. This totally goes against everything I have ever done my entire life, which explains a lot.

With all of these charts, numbers, signs, stars. etc. you gotta wonder if there is something to it. I’m no expert at any of it (part of the pisces thing) but I am rather fond of delving into mysteries of life and the like (scorpio) and before I knew that I was supposed to wait for opportunities instead of waiting for them, I was like a lion on the Serengeti who has just seen its lunch.

Perhaps you don’t believe in any of this gobbledy gook and that’s okay. All I can tell you, is the older I get, the more I am open to change and the possibility that anything is possible.

I’m not a person who buys into age or illnesses or cares that I am another year older. I see myself as being another year wiser. I am more at ease, more of myself and just plain chill about everything and I guess it’s because I have embraced all of these qualities instead of trying to control or fight them.

None of us has control over anything. We might think we do, which is why you see people fighting everything. But once you let go of the need to know, the need to control, the need to have all of the answers, you start enjoying life, which is really what we came here to do.

Pisces sun, Leo rising, Scorpio moon; whatever that means, it all boils down to me eating cake!


You Know When You’ve Met Your Match

Have you ever reached out to someone, only to be vetoed? I mean, turned down like a bad meal, a bed sheet or a job offer in Timbuktu?

What I one perceived as rejection or being rejected, I learned to realize was simply not a vibrational match for me. If I am not aligned with something or someone energetically, it is impossible for me to attract it or them into my life. Impossible!

This has helped me a lot in acting. It would be defeating and I would never leave the house again, if I focused on all of the auditions I have had where I didn’t book the job. If I constantly thought I wasn’t good enough, they didn’t like me, I had on the wrong shirt, the wrong shoes, etc.

But I know it’s none of that! Because often times I get wins where I have been wearing the same outfit I had previously not been cast in! It all comes down to who I’m vibing with!

Last week I got an email from one of the agencies I work with. They were expanding one of their divisions and asked if I would be interested in meeting them to discuss this. I  had been trying for years to get to the other side of this agency, but they work as two separate entities and had absolutely no luck. I had given up on them.

Now all of a sudden they were reaching out to me, so I knew they were interested. People don’t reach out to you if they aren’t. But I was hesitant. This particular division has not been a real winner for me and I have gone out for countless auditions. Basically I was done mentally with it and trying to focus on other areas.

Now all of a sudden, bigger brighter doors were being opened for me and all I had to do was walk through them. It was a bit of a conundrum because I would have to be open to what they had to say, even though I had already felt defeated by the situation. I almost cancelled the meeting in fact, but I realized on this journey, often times the best things for us are the things we try and reject ourselves.

So I met with them and loved them. The meeting was literally seamless. I laughed, they laughed and I felt like they really grasped who I was. One of the people said, “That was a good read, but I want you to be yourself when you read the copy. If it’s snarky, funny, no matter what that is. I want to see you being you so you can book this.”

Me being me? What a concept! In the past I had seen myself as being rejected hundreds of times for being me, but now, since I had changed my vibration, someone was interested in who I really was. I knew in that moment, I had met my vibrational match.

Life, relationships..are all supposed to be easy. When they’re not, it’s because you don’t match energetically. It’s really that simple.

This perplexes a lot of us though. When we reach out to someone we expect them to reach back and when they don’t we get sad.  We look at ourselves like we are lacking something because the other person didn’t want us. But we lack nothing. Ever. Except maybe self esteem. If we can learn to look within and work on the part of ourselves that feels like we need validation from others, we will never look outside again.

It’s so important to understand this concept. You are never rejected. You are simply being shown that what you think you want is not for you, because you are not a vibrational match for it. This doesn’t mean you never will be. But it does mean that if you learn to love yourself first, when you revisit a person or situation again, you may not even want it or them anymore.

And if you are a person on the receiving end of someone’s affection or attention and you simply don’t like them, tell them. I don’t understand why people can’t do this. Isn’t it better to get bad or sad news so you can move on? And if you can’t do that, then don’t answer the call or text! Sooner or later they will get it. And if they don’t, that’s on them.

Don’t waste your time or energy worrying about what didn’t work, spend your time and energy on things that do. Follow your joy, passion and excitement and see who and what magically appears, with little to no effort on your behalf at all.

Follow the breadcrumbs! To those who are spiritually awakened, those are called synchronicities.

Feeling a littly cray cray?

There have been so many times that I have felt like I am going crazy since I was jarred awake by this spiritually endless, frustrating, sad, happy, exhausting and exhilarating  journey.

It’s actually quite hellish and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Not even my worst enemy.  Actually I don’t have any enemies or anyone I dislike,  but I am quite certain there are people who dont like me. Mostly the fact that I have changed and don’t adhere to the old way of doing things anymore. More aptly, the way things worked for them but not so much for me.

I Tried ignoring all the crazy shit that was illogical and inexplicable but the Universe wouldnt let me.  I remember yelling at the sky one day, “What the hell do you want from me?” Of course I didn’t get an answer, well actually I just got more signs, which forced me to act on them.

How was I to know this was an inner journey and not an outward one? It’s not like this crap comes with a step by step manual!

I started to think someone had put a curse on me like some Voodoo crazy and I dont even believe in that.

In short, I was forced to resign to it. To surrender, which is completely illogical when you are a person who takes action to get what they want. There is a balance though and I work hard at trying to find it.

I am certainly no Guru or perfect by any means. I do my best. Sometimes my best is just plain exhausted so that’s when I try to  reboot and give myself the gift of boundaries.

I trust that those who truly love me without conditions will support me on my path to self-empowerment just as I will do the same for them. Anyone who is not resonating with my new energy and the love I now have unconditionally with myself has their own journey to take and I  honor that as well.

You’re not crazy, nor am I! We’re just spiritually awakened people who are evolving Into the beautiful, joyous, self-loving souls we are supposed to be.