Feelings

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an emotional state or reaction.

Do You Love What You Feel

We all have feelings, but some of us don’t quite know how to express them. This is really hard for people who feel everything, to understand. It requires patience when dealing with someone who does not share. But patience is a virtue, which is why so many of us aren’t virtuous.

A person who has a hard time with their feelings will tell you that you need to have patience with them. How much patience are we talking about? Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t have patience because I see patience as an excuse for someone who doesn’t like change.

What is it about change that frightens so many people? The unknown, if you will. I love it! I live it! I breathe it! If I’m not changing, I’m stagnant and crippled with anxiety, worrying about a future that has yet to happen. Or I’m still living in the past, basing all of the decisions and actions I take, based on what happened there.

I didn’t coin it, but it’s true. “The only thing that is constant is change,” so why not embrace it?

Part of changing, is acknowledging our feelings. Maybe even about change. When we trap our feelings inside and don’t share them, they fester until eventually (who knows when and where) they erupt. Usually people will look at you like you’re some kind of a lunatic, because they have no clue how long you have been holding all that stuff in.

I don’t know why people still hold feelings in, especially when we live in a time that is completely unpredictable and seems to be no rhyme or reason as why you would want to. You can only blame your upbringing for so long on this one.

I was told to keep the peace for years, but honestly, I stopped doing that a long time ago. The only people that served, were the people who asked it of me and I don’t answer to them anymore.

I would rather be around people who yell and show passion then people who storm off, say nothing, act like nothing is wrong when you know it is, or don’t talk to you at all. This behavior is a complete and utter breakdown in communication and makes the people in your life feel like you don’t give a crap what they think.

Passion. It is the key to everything. It’s what drives us to want things. It ignites a fire inside of us that spurns us on. It builds character, makes us act spontaneous and is fully accountable as the catalyst to go after our dreams.

People without passion…I just don’t get em. How do you live without it? How do you not allow yourself to feel this fire?

I guess it all goes back to that ugly word, control. When we don’t share our feelings with someone, we are trying a situation or them. But this is an illusion. Control is an illusion. You cannot control anyone, so why would you want to control yourself from feeling passion?

Feelings equals vulnerability and if you aren’t brave enough, passionate enough or confident enough to share them, than it’s probably best that you go live in a cave somewhere, so people who feel, don’t mistake you for someone who does.

People who feel understand that taking chances, going for their dreams and sharing their feelings is what they came here to do. It’s what we all came her for. To be who we are without all of the programs and control.

All that is required to do this, is to be authentic. To accept that you are a person who is worthy of love, understanding and kindness, but in order to have those things, you have to feel. You have to let people in.

Feel something! Anything! What’s the worst that can happen, if you do?

 

Connect

to establish communication between; put in communication

I love this song by Khalid, Talk.

So many of us don’t connect authentically to others anymore. We are so afraid of speaking our truth, that we deny ourselves a life that is more suited to who we now are, and instead, we keep getting on the hell ride that we once bought into.

We deny ourselves the chance to be recognized, the chance to shine, to be who we really are, and instead, keep playing out the bullshit rendition of the programs we have now outgrown.

It’s madness! Why don’t we just speak our truth?Why don’t we declare what we want once and for all and then go about getting it? Is it because we don’t know? If that’s the case, then we need to go within and listen to the voice that is probably now horse because it is so frustrated from screaming at us.

When I close my eyes and take a breath I know what is being communicated to me internally. I had an issue of old pattern bs last week because I didn’t listen to my inner voice. My breath had become restricted from it and I actually went back to yoga. When I took a moment to reflect, I knew exactly what to do.

All of our answers are internal. We already know what we know. We just haven’t brought it into fruition yet. And the reason for this is quite simple. We haven’t communicated what it is we want out loud.

And while talking to ourselves is a start, and maybe even you mouth the words like an actor at an audition (and believe me they look silly), we eventually need to give them life.

How freeing to speak the words that have held us captive. They are just words! Emotions that have not been given birth. That’s why they rumble in our stomachs and cause us discomfort. Literally take our breath away.

Most of us probably communicate via text, but that’s just garbage talk.  A a bunch of stuff gets lost in translation through it and often times we misinterpret what is really being said because our perception is quite simply OUR perception and not anyone elses’. My faves, Key and Peele did a skit on it. Text Message Confusion

And while that skit is funny, we all get it because it has happened to us before in one way or another.

How about when someone asks you to do something and you read into it? A person asks you for a drink and you assume they want more from you than conversation. Our mind thinks over a million scenarios in that one interaction and instead of being in the moment and honoring someone’s request, we make our decision from a perception that could be way off.

I’ve done this. Had a friend ask me what I was doing last night. I said I was ill. I read into the text as her wanting me to listen to her story of how much she hates her husband again and I didn’t feel like putting my energy towards it. But maybe just maybe she just wanted to laugh with me.

Was that wrong? Yes. I should have gone. Honored her with my time. At any moment if she started to complain, I could have simply said I did’t want to hear it. But I took the cowards way out.

At some point we may have to be the guy who tells someone to stop complaining, to take ownership of their shit and get to work on themselves because you are not going to do it for them. If people can’t hear it now, they eventually will, and if they don’t, they simply fade away.

You lose a lot of “friends” on this journey and you learn to be okay with it. You cannot lower your vibration anymore to match those who aren’t there with you. It is not our job to fix others or to keep playing out the same fucking scenarios, hoping they will get it.

You’re the King and Queen now, not the stable boy/girl!

Connect with yourself, then connecting with others becomes seamless.

TALK!

Can’t we just talk?
Can’t we just talk?
Talk about where we’re goin’
Before we get lost
Let me out first
Can’t get what we want without knowin’
I’ve never felt like this before
I apologize if I’m movin’ too far
Can’t we just talk?
Can’t we just talk?
Figure out where we’re growin’
Yeah
Started off right
I can see it in your eyes
I can tell that you’re wantin’ more
What’s been on your mind?
There’s no reason we should hide
Tell me somethin’ I ain’t heard before
Oh, I’ve been dreamin’ ’bout it
And it’s you I’m on
So stop thinkin’ ’bout it
Can’t we just talk?
Can’t we just talk?
Talk about where we’re goin’
Before we get lost
Let me out first (yeah)
Can’t get what we want without knowin’ (no)
I’ve never felt like this before
I apologize if I’m movin’ too far
Can’t we just talk?
Can’t we just talk?
Figure out where we’re growin’
Penthouse view, left some flowers in the room
I’ll make sure I leave the door unlocked
Now I’m on the way, swear I won’t be late
I’ll be there by five o’clock
Oh, you’ve been dreamin’ ’bout it
And I’m what you want
So stop thinkin’ ’bout it
Can’t we just talk? (Oh)
Can’t we just talk? (Na)
Talk about where we’re goin’ (na na oh)
Before we get lost
Let me out first
Can’t get what we want without knowin’ (na)
I’ve never felt like this before
I apologize if I’m movin’ too far
Can’t we just talk? (Ooh!)
Can’t we just talk?
Figure out where we’re growin’

 

 

 

 

The Power of a Word

OK

One of my favorite Key and Peele!

It’s only a word, but…

Sometimes all it takes is one word to let someone know what you are thinking…but often times, people can’t even muster one.

Of course I am never at a loss for them!

But it never ceases to amaze me how others don’t see how closed off they are being when they cannot reciprocate. I should rephrase that. They can, but they won’t.

Some people don’t know what to do when someone talks to them! They might even go so far as to act as though they didn’t see you or recognize you, just so they don’t have to engage in conversation with you.

It’s not like I’m some Chatty Cathy; I’m good at shutting the hell up, too! I like quiet and hate loud noises, but when I am with people in a closed area or want to know them better, I tend to try and talk to them.

But there are those people who are so closed off, it’s as though the guard at the gate suddenly appears when you are with them. You can literally see a masked knight pulling the draw bridge up, filling the moat with gators and feeling as if the next word or move you make will be met with a sword.

Not sure why, but I think it has something to do with being suspicious. They don’t trust other people’s intentions. They have been so hurt by some terd in their past, that they have put themselves in armor, unwilling to remove it, even at the expense of their own heart. They wonder… “Why is this person speaking to me?” “Why are they asking questions?” “What do they want?” “They must want something, because only people who want something talk to me.”

Here are a list of words that come to mind for this kind of behavior: Sad. Lonely.  Paranoid. Egotistical. Judgmental. Closed off. Emotionally unavailable. Living in the past. Weak. Fearful.

Now I ask you…are those words you want associated with you? Most likely, you would never think of yourself as any of those things, but guess what…other people do. So many words to describe a person who is closed off!

But only one word for the person who isn’t.

Open!

When we are open, we allow all things that might or could be possible for us to come forward. We accept all that life wants to offer us, all of the people who want to come forth and help us and all of the love that is waiting there for us, if we just open ourselves up to receive it or them.

I will never be closed off no matter how much heartbreak I have endured. If I did that, I would be letting darkness win and I love myself too much to allow my past to mar my future.

I choose the light. Always! And in doing so, I am choosing myself, instead of continuing to give my power away to others who are not worthy of such a gift. I am open to receiving everything from everyone because I know I give that much in return.

I don’t have the time or the energy for gobbledy gook (that’s bullshit) anymore. And I certainly don’t have time or energy for someone who doesn’t understand this. If you want to continue to shut everybody out then go on with it, but you must know in doing so, you are only continuing to devalue yourself.

Love yourself enough to be willing to share who you are with whoever wants to know you. What an incredible gift that is! Someone WANTS to know you! In this world filled with egocentric people, that’s a rare and precious commodity.

Trust your inner guidance here. Surely you have enough experience and stories at this point to know when someone is genuine and when they are not. Steer clear of the posers and OPEN yourself to what is real.

Get yourself off the merry go round of self-defeating habits! The fucking clock is ticking! Despite what you might think, you don’t have all the time in the world to start living the life of your dreams. How about starting today! Say hi to someone. Ask them about their day and then be ready to reciprocate.

Even if you can only muster an “ok” .