What Is Love?

What is love? Hmm…I guess that might be different for everyone.

Love certainly doesn’t involve someone hurting us, yet many of us seem to suffer with this in our relationships.

We certainly don’t choose to suffer. I mean, who would do that? Or do we? The answer of course, is yes. We do choose to suffer, but not consciously.

When we are afraid to feel those wounds of abandonment, we will attract people who bring those feelings to the surface. And like a pot of water on a stove that simply exists until you ignite it, the water starts to rumble until it is a full on boil.

Our feelings, when trampled over time and time again, ignites something within us. Initially we might do anything to try and avoid them, but at the boiling point, they can’t be ignored anymore

If you are currently in the boil phase as I am, simply remove the pot. Whatever is causing this chemical reaction needs to go. No one should be in a position in any relationship where they feel so completely disregarded, unheard and under valued. This is not love. This is toxic.

Real love involves another party knowing your worth and never ever making you feel unsafe, unstable and insecure. When you do enough work on yourself there is not need for these lessons anymore and anyone who keeps trying to bring you to their level instead of rising to yours, needs to go.

It’s really as simple as that. It may not be a simple process to remove them from your life, but the first step is realizing it’s over. The more you linger there, the more you are now consciously choosing to suffer and that my friends, is called insanity.

Choose to loose anything and anyone who brings you down. It might be scary, believe me I know, but trying to make something work with someone who doesn’t do any, is far scarier.

What is love? It’s knowing that you deserve more than what you have allowed yourself to settle for. The water might be hot now, but it will cool. And the haunted woods you have found yourself lost in will eventually turn into your happily ever after.

Stay positive! If I can keep being burned and rise like the phoenix time and time again, so can you. And I will never, ever let anyone who didn’t know how to love, harden me from loving another again; nor should you.

Drama

A play for theater, radio, or television.

And then there’s this kind of drama: an exciting, emotional, or unexpected series of events or set of circumstances.

Some of us are drawn to the second type of drama. Perhaps it’s a part of ourselves that never got to play roles in a drama club, so we create them in real time. Maybe we think our  lives are boring by comparison, so we feel the need to do something, anything, to feel a jolt of excitement.

The problem with creating drama is that others get hurt. They are often unaware of your deep seeded need to feel excitement. But let’s be real. If you are seeking drama, what you are really yearning for is attention. It’s why actors do plays or any job for that matter. But when you seek attention outside of the entertainment industry, others pay the price with their heart.

Think about it.  How many times have you created drama that didn’t involve other people? People unaware of your own insecurities which are usually masked pretty astutely by some type of character you play. As a matter of fact, you play the part so well, you can’t even come out of character anymore.

When faced with real feelings you might be the person who isn’t available. When faced with a challenge you become the character who runs away. Or when things don’t go your way you become embroiled in bitterness and start to plan your revenge. Maybe you refuse to accept what is, so you lash out at others, instead of battling the demons inside of yourself.

The first thing to do when realizing you are drawn to drama, is realize you are drawn to drama. Own it. It’s okay. We all have our shit. Accept this part of yourself that needs attention and then ask it why and wait for an answer. What is it you are seeking from others that you cannot give to yourself? It probably has something to do with love.

Lack of love can do a real number on us. It can create unhealthy patterns in our lives that are doomed to be repeated until we take a look within. We can be afraid to stand up for ourselves, even when we know what is being asked of us is not something we want to do. It can hinder our ability to go after our dreams because we don’t believe we are worthy of them coming true. Perhaps the most ironic thing about lack of love for ourselves, can be our inability to accept love from others, so we create drama to keep people away.

Understand this about drama. On film, in the theatre or in books it has its purpose.  Playing it out in your day to day life can only hurt others and ultimately hurts you.