Run or Surrender

I talk about the collective a bit when I post card messages. The term collective simply means a group of objects, people, animals, or ideas as a single concept, or a single thing.

If you are reading my blog, then you are part of this collective. You resonate with what I write somehow and while you may or may not be fully awakened to all of the concepts I write about, you are at least intrigued. Unless of course you are one of those people who are too cowardice to speak with me, so you stalk me instead. Have at it! Maybe you will gain a little more self awareness.

When I speak of running or surrendering, I am talking about our emotions. Do you run from them or do you surrender to them? When we run we ignore, bypass and do not grow as a person. There is nothing wrong with this, unless of course you are wanting relationships that are fulfilling, joyous, genuine and loving.

Many people will stay in relationships that have conditions attached to them or are transactional in nature because it is all they know. This conditioning of co-dependence was brought about in childhood by a mother or father figure. In order to get love, you had to do something. If you did not do what was asked of you, you were ignored. This began your journey of abandonment and the only way you ever feel loved, is if you are with someone perpetuating the same cycle.

This wounding is so deep and engrained in you, that you actually refuse to look at it because it would be too painful for you. So instead, you run. You do not have fulfilling relationships with anyone because you withhold yourself emotionally out of fear of rejection, so your relationships are what I call “surfacy.”

This can work for you for awhile, but eventually it won’t. Your past always catches up with you. Always! And it will come in a myriad of ways. The Universe has this amazing ability to know exactly the lessons you need to learn at exactly the right time.

You might lose your job, get in an accident, lose a loved one to divorce, lose money, lose friends, your car might break down, you might get robbed. Hell! All of these things and more might happen to you, depending on how long you’ve been running.

Whatever it is you are avoiding, your lesson will come in that form. So if you are hoarding money, working too much or not being generous, you might have a financial gain and then a loss all at once. If you are deceptive in your relationships and only take and never give, eventually you will meet someone right out of a horror film.

At the end of the day all we have is our truth. It is the one thing that determines the path of our lives. This truth is our soul calling us to accept all that we are, without looking outside of ourselves for constant approval.

The truth is something a lot of us will not face. It’s not that we can’t, we simply choose not to. And while that is a choice that everyone is entitled to make, it is one that keeps you running instead of surrendering and eventually, no matter how hard you run, it will catch up with you.

The Universe calls you in many ways to surrender to the truth of who you are. The choice is yours whether you answer the call or not. But know this…it will only call a few times and eventually you will get that tower moment and be forced to finally look in the mirror and acknowledge who and what you really are.

Doors

They say that when one door closes, another one opens. But what do they say of doors that don’t open?

I say that doors that do not open for you, are doors that are not meant to be walked through. This is a hard lesson to learn, but one that is paramount to healing.

While we might try our best to open a door that we have our heart set on, pound on it, maybe even try to pry that sucker open, it still won’t budge. So we take out the dynamite and alas, the door opens, but not without conditions. And trust me, those conditions will beat you down so badly, you won’t even recognize yourself anymore.

Many doors have been closed to me with acting, opportunities in general and people. Often times when a door did not open for me, I would sit back and re-evaluate and think about another way to open it. Perhaps if I came at it from this angle, or tried a little harder, tried a little less, but when you have a burning desire or a dream, it is very hard to walk away from that door.

But eventually you have to. You realize that no amount of pushing on that door is going to open it and the more you think about that door, the weaker you get. You’re diminished. Spent. And so, you are forced to surrender in order to survive because your heart can’t handle any more disappointment. And in this space of surrender, you empower yourself to walk away from that door.

Because I have done this, I understand that when doors are not opening for me, they simply aren’t my doors. If you can grasp this one concept, you will save yourself a whole lot of pain.

The doors that are meant for you are seamless. All you have to do is simply walk towards that door, knock and it opens. From that door comes another and then another still. Eventually doors appear out of nowhere and you don’t even have to knock anymore.

A closed door is simply a sign that you are headed in the wrong direction. Whatever is behind that door is not for you and in fact could be very toxic. You will live to regret it if you insist on Barging your way through it. This is divine protection, not rejection and once you understand this, you will empower yourself enough to quickly walk away from the doors that aren’t opening and run towards the ones that are.

Tic…Boom!

I have mentioned that my son plays football in previous posts. Friday I took him to a new trainer. Obviously playing football for fun and making it your entire focus are two different things.

This trainer was an hour from our house. It seems as though everything football oriented is over and hour from our house. The traffic can make it more and usually does.

In the past I would have complained about this. I’m not a fan of getting on the highway or driving, which is why I like big cities where I can walk…or the south where I can ride a bike. I will most definitely live in one of these places when he is done with school; the city might come sooner if the commute gets to be too much for him next year. But since I have been focusing less on outcomes and more on the present moment, he is happy here, so this is where we stay.

When I am not focused on me, I am focused on him. What is it he requires? Gain more weight; make more food. Workout more; take him to the gym. Getting more sleep; wake from my slumber to get him off his computer, which happens to be his only form of a social life due to football. Most days are spent trying to help him reach his goal. Which is easy for me to do, because it’s something I do for myself now and we all need someone in our corner.

So when a guy knows a guy who lives out somewhere near us and not in Jersey, I agreed to take him. I didn’t even think twice about driving to the middle of nowhere! We laughed, shared stories and he even confided in me about one of his friends having a problem and how he was trying to help her.

I enjoyed every minute of being with him; even when he played his music, which I struggle to like sometimes. We even got stuck in traffic but I was so focused on listening to him and seeing how insightful he is, I had a great time.

I share this story with you because I heard this song this morning and it reminded me of another key theme to manifesting. When you have complete trust in the Universe and allow it to bring you what you need instead of chasing after it, things just start to happen for the better. Life gets easier instead of harder.

One coach leads to another coach which leads to something else; something better. Everything aligns so seamlessly, without you even having to do anything. It appears to be simply “gifted” to you.

The auditions have been rolling in for me; really fun ones too, more me. I’ve been selling my cards on all platforms without doing any advertising and I know this has nothing to do with me doing anything. It has everything to do with me doing nothing.

This energy of allowing instead of controlling is paramount to manifesting. When you put something into action that you really want, you are showing the powers that be that you are committed to it. No matter how much you are tested, you stay the course. You keep doing the inner work every time you are tested and you learn to discern very quickly. When you get to this place of inner peace, you are rewarded. It is the tic before the boom.

So if you want to see fireworks in your life, embrace all of the moments throughout the day. Focus on what you have instead of what you have lost and do not give your energy (attention) to anything or anyone who tries to take you back there.

Before you know it, you will be amazed at how seamless life can be. Surrender to what is instead of trying to make it something it is not or ever will be.

I insist on being a part of the journey my son is on, because I want to be there when he makes it to his destination. There will be people along your journey that are not meant to be a part of your destination. It’s okay. We all have our own paths. Don’t try to make someone walk yours with you if they don’t want to or simply can’t. This is one of the main reasons you will not manifest what you want. Your energy is scattered and going backwards instead of forwards.

Find inner peace, stay present and don’t allow anyone to mess with your vibe. If you can do this…Boom! You will be a manifesting magnet.

Let It Flow

How open are you to change? Are you loosey goosey to it? Willing to dip one toe in the pool or the whole foot? Or maybe you’re too rigid to change anything. In that case, you’re nowhere near the water!

Being in the flow is super easy; it’s where we allow instead of control. This simply means we wake up, may have our schedule, but if something takes us off course, we understand that we are being directed elsewhere for our highest good. Acceptance of this is the key to our happiness.

When people don’t go with the flow and are so set on staying in control, they miss out on all of the wonderful things that life is trying to bring them. It’s really interesting to observe people who are very controlled. It’s almost painful to see how routined they are. In there quest to stay in control of everything, they essentially become controlled because they are no longer living life due to their conviction of calculating their every move. How exhausting! I’m tired just writing that.

Letting go of outcomes and going with the flow is very empowering. But if I were to tell this to a person who is always in control, they would say the exact opposite. The real truth about control, is that it is an illusion. There is no control. You cannot control anything!

The more you go within and change your perceptions of people and understand that most of us are just repeating patterns and programs from our childhood, the less you feel the need to try and control anything. You understand that people are just playing out their own insecurities and they seldom, if ever, have anything to do with you.

The ironic thing about control is that when we are so committed to one path, life has a way of sending us what is called a “tower moment” so that we can be put on another one. These tower moments are generally pretty awful, but if you look at it from a higher perspective, you see that you had plenty of notices beforehand, you just chose to ignore them because you were too busy controlling how things were supposed to go according to your plan. You see, no matter how great we think our best-laid plans are, life will step in and say, “I have a better one! Trust me!”

Since I have been going with the flow I have created more abundance in my life. I don’t push for outcomes or results or have any expectations, especially of other people. I have learned to be my best advocate. All of the love, the acceptance and joy I once sought out there, I now find within.

This new way of living allows me to wake up every day with excitement. It’s like Christmas as a kid every day. I try and keep to my morning routine as best I can and then allow the rest of the day to unfold. I might have a list of things I would like to do, but when I allow for anything and everything, I usually have a pretty remarkable day.

This is called being in the flow and it is when we can magnetize anything! So if you want to be a money magnet, a love magnet or any other kind of magnet, you have to allow yourself to be in the flow. How can something wonderful even fit into your life, if you are always controlling every aspect of your day?

Be in control or don’t. I’ll be over here going with the flow cause that’s where all the magic is!