a noteworthy special talent or quality. a variable in a given situation that could have the most significant impact on the outcome.
When we think of the x factor in a person it means they have a very special personal quality about them and that they have an unpredictable influence on us. It’s always a good one too. They are unforgettable by nature, which is what makers them so special.
The light a person with the x factor brings is a bright one, so a person who doesn’t love themselves will be repelled by it. This is because people who have this light are able to see everyone for who they really are, not what they are pretending to be and while it is a breath of fresh air for anyone to be really seen, it is also terrifying because it makes them feel so vulnerable.
If they feel triggered by this kind of love they will repel it. They might get angry at you, push you away, say or do mean things to you, anything, just so you will leave them alone. It’s literally ridiculous that a person would reject such love, but because they are emotionally closed off, it becomes easier to do this, then to work on themselves and the connection.
If you are a person who doesn’t see your potential, plays small to keep others happy, is a yes man or yes woman or simply puts your life on hold or to the side just to appease others, then you will not know what to do when you meet someone who sees all of your potential and loves you for who you are, not what you can do for them.
When a person who comes from a space of unconditional love meets someone who has been raised with tons of conditions on love, the relationship between the two of them will be over-wrought with conflict and extremely challenging.
This conflict comes from the inner struggle of an individual who doesn’t trust real love because they have never known it. What they have known is guilt, tit for tat, puppet strings and shame. So when another person ignites feelings in them they have never felt before, they won’t know what to do with it and will self sabotage a relationship with someone offering genuine love and go towards someone with the same emotional baggage.
If you are a person who spreads light wherever you go, you face a harsh and painful reality that some people cannot accept your light. It’s just easier for people who struggle with self esteem and self worth to push you away and accept what they have known their whole lives, because it doesn’t require any work. They just press the reset button after they have discarded you and go back to what they know, even if it means losing someone who loved them so deeply.
The best thing you can do is pick yourself up, learn the lesson and give all of that attention and love you once gave to another who didn’t know what to do with it, back to yourself. When you come from a space of loving others unconditionally, you can’t stop shining, but what you can do, is learn to discern who you let bask in your light.
And for the people who refuse to change, despite meeting people who brought you so much light, your heart has already been opened by them and once a heart is opened it can’t be closed, no matter how hard you try to harden it. Taking the easy route might work for a time, but eventually it catches up to you. This is when your x factor person crosses your mind, and sadly, you aren’t even on theirs anymore.
This is a really hard lesson to learn but a valuable one for sure. Hopefully when you learn it, you not only bask in the light the next time it comes around, you embrace it wholeheartedly and give it back ten-fold, instead of running from it.
If you can learn to embrace the x factor in someone instead of being fearful of it, you will never be an EX factor again. You’ll just be living your best life with them.